Gripped with emotions
Mind goes blank
Crippled with a strong waves of hurts
Waves of hurting words
Envelops and squeeze my heart
Heart aches
Tears drip uncontrollably
Hiding in a corner
Hurting my integrity

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 24 September 3013 at 10:02am to 10:08am
Based On: Monday, 23 September 2013 between 10pm to 11:30pm

Arguments occurred between my brother and mother then she with me regarding air ticket printing for my cousin. My mothers’ relatives often take her for granted. Whenever there is problem, she is always asked for help. But they didn’t look for her when there is no problem. I have been wondering why do people take my family for granted? My brother is pissed off. Every time the ticket printing is passed to me last minute. It didn’t mean my printer always have ink. My dad intercepted our arguments. Even shoot remarks that we would leave them alone when they reach old age. That hurts me a lot because I have set in my heart to take care of my parents till death do us part. No matter what arguments, my decision to care them is final. My heart and mind hurts a lot for my dad’s words who is stoistic of his own opinion and presumption.

Switching off the light, but switch on the night light preventing my son from seeing my cry and kissed him goodnight. My husband had slept. In the middle of the night, my mother opened my room door and comforted me to just brush dad’s words aside. After back home from work and shower, I felt sleepy. But after the quarrel, I couldn’t sleep until 2am midnight and crying to my Lord and Saviour.

11 thoughts on “Heartache

  1. Hello Yoshiko! I have decided that I will spend quite some time on your blog to see what you have been writing. You have written quite much since I last visited here. I get the problem you raise here. Let me tell you what living with others has taught me. It has taught me to be tolerant; that if I have to be very sensitive, I will always be angry. I have also learned to remove my mind from myself and think of others also. I should try to make others happy not only others making me happy. I have learned that I cannot always have things my own way. If I insist on having things my own way all the times, I will hit my head against many people and my world might come crumbling. I have also learned that in this world if I am not careful, I may be seen by others as a difficult person and a trouble seeker; and everybody will blame me and be against me and when there is a problem people will think I am the cause. It is therefore important that I be very careful how I do things so that I do not become isolated and left to lick my wounds alone.

      • Really awful. My advice is that when this happens show that you have a great mind by turning it to a blessing or a stepping-stone to something good for you. For instance, if someone does something to hurt you show the person how small they are to hurt you by not being hurt. You will come out a winner. But if you get hurt, the person wins because they have achieved what they wanted which was to hurt you.

      • Maybe. Strangely, some people mention “who do you think you are?” That confused me and hurts me. Inside I’m feeling worse and I want to improve myself. That really push me deeper into the well of depression.

      • Do not pay any attention to what people say about you Yoshiko, when you know their motivation is to hurt or destroy you. Let their words slide down your mind as water slides down a duck’s back. Believe in yourself. God made you good and beautiful in his own image and in an evil world, there will always be people to try to destroy you. Give them no chance; but do not give evil for evil. Pray for those who try to pull you down. If they are wicked it means God is absent in their lives. If you do not pray for them and help them through prayers and good deeds to become good, they will go deeper in their evil ways which makes things worse. God bless you.

      • It is not every body who knows how to talk to people. We are all different. Some people talk gently; some not; some people master the art of comforting others but some do not. We have to give room for people’s weaknesses and failings. Sometimes we jump to a conclusion about Somebody just to see in the end that it was wrong. Always take everything that comes to be for good.

      • Yes. We are different. All I want is to be accepted as I am. Though I speak gently and can’t answer with the right words in person, I hope for the person to be patient.

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