Compassion and Trust

As the Lord cares for me so I
Care about others too much
No return is expected
Being open about my weaknesses

Immense disappointment!
I am utterly disappointed with those
Return with wickedness
Desiring to harm and manipulate me

Thwarted plans!
Eating their own words
Fall into their own traps
Refuse to admit and change their words to make themselves good

Get out of my paths!
May the Lord be the Judge!
Weary of such acts
Seeking the Lord’s peace and deliverance

Being myself
Getting myself back
Preferring with those open to their weakness
And those fully committed in the Lord

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Inspiration On: Saturday, 6 February 2016

Today’s sermon is about beyond compassion where God’s biases is towards the poor and to judge righteously. I thank the Lord for His validation on my belief values. The poor shouldn’t think that it is right to receive and receive. The rich shouldn’t think that it’s all mine. God wants to see the poor’s attitude that it is God who provides. And God wants to see the rich’s recognize God is the One who blesses them with riches. So my pride in having giving attitude is acceptable and pleasing in God’s sight. SS’s words echo in my head, “take care of yourself first.” She means I need to take care of myself first before I can take care of others. Hey! That’s what I say to others but I forget to take care of myself. Now, I am learning to do so. Mum is upset for me to be too giving. I am shocked that I speak up for those who can’t speak up for themselves regardless of their status – poor or rich. I unexpectedly defend others behind their back and feel bad to say others’ negativeness. It is important to judge righteously. The Lord shows me that not all poor people are hard working and not all rich are proud. I really thank the Lord to bless me with committed Christians. I feel so grateful of God. He is ahead of me. During the prayer, I pray for His guidance in my life.

On the way home, I confront my son whether my mother in law says about me. He replies that he doesn’t know. Then he says that he never lies. However, I react that he can even lie to get what he wants by using my name. Still he insist that he never lie. Then I share I have been doing my best to find others so that I can bring him to work. And I question him, “yet you can even lie to me.” Upon reaching home, I share to my parents. My mum mentions that my husband’s mother doesn’t dare to talk about me to my son. Because of afraid my son tells me. Probably she talks badly of me towards my husband. I feel bad to suspect my son’s honesty and good intention. Now, I begin to see the clearer picture. No wonder the day my husband cursed me and labeled me badly can show his mother’s false accusations about me. After my dad’s rebuke, he stops his mouth. However, I don’t know what is in his mind. I am so fearful of being pushed again. Now I begin to understand the reason I feel so drained. Caring him and his mother too much. Then they betray me and take my kindness for granted! Treating me like a fool! How can I trust them again?!

Wish you all have good days and thank you.