Buy Blusher Powder

I purchase another pair of Own Days PC spectacle for my son. It is meant for him to wear out of house in order to prevent social bullies. Then I make my way to SS’s hair salon. When I reach her hair salon, I ask her opinion on my clothing match. I forget to ask her later. She gently explains that she is with two customers. Afterwards, she goes through the post encounter assignment with me. I share that I normally tithe out of thankfulness to the Lord and gratitude. She responds it’s good and explain further to give 10% to the Lord and let God works on the 90%. Then I can submit the assignment for the last lesson of church online class. I show her Revlon blusher powder that mum gives. I’m surprised for her to reveal my business mentor also uses such brand too. The clock strikes 5pm so she brings me to shop blusher powder. First, we have dinner together. Since I use Revlon, she finds the same brand but different colour to match my skin tone. Next she helps to choose the razor to remove my armpit hair and legs hair. I really thank the Lord and appreciate her efforts. She shows her membership card so I am blessed with 5% discount. Out of curiosity, I ask her leisure hobbies. She answers to spend time with God. That’s good. I wish to have the luxury to study Hebrew to understand God better. God is not blind. I feel so grateful for His kindness. Whatever I have been blessing others, He blesses me.

Christmas Blessing

I learn to inform SS that I am going to her hair salon. Then I go to her shop. Suddenly, she blesses me with a chain as the accessory for my new clothes. When I share I like a particular shoes, she goes down to the shop with me. She looks at it and suggests to add more than $10 to get a good quality leather shoes. It cost $50 due to Christmas sale. She helps me to prioritize to go to church Christmas service then tomorrow can spend time with my family members.

At the FCBC church service at suntec city, I meet MK. I feel embarrassed to be praised by her on yesterday’s salvation. I reply to do my best. I enjoy my worship with Jesus. Many times I am reminded of my son’s stretching hands wanting hugs and being carried. Therefore, I learn to stretch out my hands to my Lord. A sister gives me a bear soft toy for my son. So I don’t need to ask for it on his behalf. Then I join SS and MK to TP for catch up. MK buys me a drink at MOS burger. They listen to my problems and pray for me.

Unexpectedly, my decision to go to church can bring a blessing to SS too. One of her widow classmates intend to come to her shop to go to church together. Suddenly, that widow friend calls her to join with two other widows out to another place to drown sorrow. SS replies that she is going with me to church. She shares this issue to MK.

Fatigue

I rush to SS’s hair salon to meet my business mentor. My business mentor packs food and brings banana for everyone. After I observe her looks, she doesn’t look that fierce. Finally, I have the courage to give her my sketch for her as the token of appreciation. However, I don’t dare to give her the bookmark for her name written in Hebrew. When she goes somewhere, I thank God for the opportunity to slip it into her book. Glad to listen to the post encounter online class. I’m surprised for her to ask me questions on the lesson I learned. It is about three praise and worship style according to God. Hands reaching out to God, kneeling down and prostrating.

She blesses everybody with Christmas presents. She blesses my son and I with Christmas gift – a pencil box and a praying hand 3D puzzle. I give the 3D puzzle for Huey to bring for the Christmas party gift exchange. Joy receives it. I can only treat it as a loss. Unexpectedly, my business mentor gives 3D puzzle Christmas gift to Huey. Before I am leaving, she reminds me to do acupressure onto my neck. She does acupressure until I struggle in much pain. She can sense it is worse. I realize yesterday meeting mentor, a friend to mentor, career coach, and MK causes the fatigue. I remember mum’s words that I shouldn’t tire myself too much.

Outreach Meeting

I feel delighted to have lunch with RR and RC. Then we have a photo. RL feels so happy that I look feminine and look good in it. Then I share their response to my business mentor and SS. They agree it’s good to look feminine. That’s me.

I’m shocked to learn that the outreach meeting discussion to share the gospel at TP is tonight. After meeting the career coach (FT), I quickly rush to TP. While waiting for MK, I do my best in my resume. When she arrived, she buys me a cup of lime juice. Then I talk to her about my resume and go with her to her house. We go to the designated place and wait for others. She buys me a cup of milo. To our disappointments, none come. Then I also begin to share about the Social entrepreneurship idea and my business mentor becomes my business partner. She also prays about it and for God’s anointing upon my broken common sense. Then she sends me to the nearest bus stop.

God’s Presence

The joy in the Lord to feel His presence and joy despite my husband chooses not to answer my text message to join our son and him for dinner at a restaurant. Reading the book about Social Entrepreneurship and answering the ten questions make me laugh. It is the question of I receive a mentor. It is the Lord’s doing to meet my business mentor. I have been remembering my interactions with her and the recent way she replies. I thank her for contacting BL to encourage me. She didn’t and told me, “You always assume…..!” My response, “Aren’t you often assume too and jump to conclusions?” is enough to trigger her sound like a kid too. “Sounds like a kid arguing. I can debate with you! Give me a case and I will clear with you”. My question, “What case, lawyer?” Thinking of this makes me laugh again especially her denial of her own age is considered senior citizen. Siti also laughs.

Thanks for completing the token of appreciation to my business mentor and write little poetry based on the meaning of her name.

A brother in Christ WY to call me instead of I call him. I confess to him that I feel so remorseful and worst to let my parents suffer with me. It is due to I listen to them and without realizing I ignore the Lord’s small still voice. I share the long term business goal is to let mothers bring their children to workplace. When I hear from him that God will deal with my husband for not admitting his mistakes, I feel so upset with myself and it is too late. The dreams and confirmation from my business mentor and hear about my maid’s mother became a widow. But I have passed him into God’s hands. Strangely I am not as grieved as before. The brother is surprised of the job offer $15 for an hour for 18 hours of work. As the return, she let me use her space to work for my business. He is surprised of the little miracle and that my business goal is according to His kingdom. He prays for me. Then I immediately call the lady to accept her kind offer.

She explains again $15 per hour for 18 hours work per week due to budget issue. But now she needs 20 hours work per week to improve her sales. I understand. It begins on 16 November. She sounds anticipating my coming.

My business mentor to respond to my ‘Accuser & Spoilt’ poetry, “Sounds familiar”. Then she continues, “Just focus on seeking God and serve Him living out His will and purposes. God blesses you with supporting parents and siblings.”

Then I am reminded of the career consultant’s words whom she refers to me. “Oh ya. I remember that YA mentioned that I am at the disadvantage due to my qualifications are not from local universities. So taking projects is the alternative way with a business partner. Can I give you 50% of the paid project amount? At first, it is to be paid 50% deposit of the project amount. After receive 50% deposit, then start to do the project.”

“What project?” She wonders.

“Animation projects. And other kind of projects. When I do children’s book and animation for a company, I ask for 50% deposit then I start the work. Come to think of it. I remember that even the cofounder of a production company gets the 50% deposit first then start the work.”

“Who gave you the project?”

“Haven’t got it yet. I’m processing YA’s words. Before I got it from a friend and a company finds me from google. Networking session can help too. I’m in charge of the production and you are in charge of meeting people. I’ve been reminded of my secondary days. It is part of our services besides coming out own products.”

“Need to discuss to understand what you are trying to say.”

“Ok. Once the part time admin ends and give you a treat at the cafe in the same mall.”

Today, I just find out my helper has been practicing drawing using my son’s pencil. It breaks my heart. Since I have bought a dozen of different pencil grades, I sharpen a set of it to her. I hope she can earn a living through designing and sewing clothes when the time is ripe for her. I share her my experiences how I improve my drawings. Then I cater it according to her fashion designing skills. I copy manga drawing only to earn own style. Recently, I copy logo designs. It turns out so well. For her case, it is to copy clothing designs at home and the manga I show her. She looks so happy and I feel so happy if she can reach her potential. I share my previous full time work experiences as an admin to assist my ex-boss, accounts and shipping departments. After I my animation studies, I cover the admin who replaced me due to cancer operation. My boss and even the accountant wants to offer me the job. I feel bad to replace the one who replace me. She is entering into middle aged. My lady boss sends her message through the son. It is better for me to get a job somewhere else rather than stay in the small company without further career advancement. Strange for her to say so. However, I am reminded of a staff whom the lady boss told him to find another career due to no career advancement in her small company. That staff resigned and receive other job promotions with better pay. Life is strange. What does she sees in me? Is it the Lord’s love and favour? Even I wonder of an ex-colleague words who told me not to forget her. What does she sees in me?

Digged Out Memories

Oh no! Today, I am nervous awaiting for the bus. In fact, I should leave house at 7:30am. My migraine is aching a lot. In the end, I reach around 9am instead of 8:30am. YY is so concerned to tell me to leave by 5pm because she doesn’t want me to be locked in the office. Then she gently explain to me to inform her if I have problem reaching office by 8:30am.

JWF to ask me about the photo cleaning editing to erase the mannequin wearing the clothes. She needs help in this area.

While I am doing the part-time admin job, I feel pressured on my deadline to fulfill my vow unto the Lord. What is He doing in my life? BL gives her feedback about my animation script is full of grammar errors and the story is not enough. She introduces ‘The Lorax” and to read other children’s book. The good feedback from my screenwriters are not according to her standard. However, I keep quiet about being scouted by a hollywood screenwriter for my high concept. Then she reveals that she works in an advertising agency and has worked on scriptwriting. That’s amazing. Then she mentions that Vincent and I make her worried. So she wants to help me. I don’t understand which part of my speech sounds defensive to her. However, I appreciate her kind gesture. I see the Lord doesn’t give up on me. Does my business mentor contacts BL about me? I wonder. I feel like saying thank you to her.

The way CW does make me worried. I ask him not to send the logo picture using GJ’s and LS’a names. I appreciate his concern. He is angry due to his dad creates logo competition in Jakarta. Thus I explain to him that’s not the way to do so. Let God does the judging though WA has prejudices towards him. Maybe yes maybe no.

Strangely, I am reminded of my husband besides the coffin dream without much fear anymore. Is God answering my prayer to take my life away after I fulfill my vow instead of my husband? Why would God’s message spoke to me during a friend’s mother’s funeral wake keeps echoing? “Those who wants to die, can’t die. However, those who don’t want to die, will die.”

During dinner, my mum keeps on telling me to listen to her ways to read the Bible at night. She can only say her own opinions. “Why can’t you immediately wake up?” Inside my heart, I just want God’s Words to fill my heart and mind. Then I am surprised with my reply to her. Then you try to walk in my shoes. Before my migraine, I can wake up immediately. Ever since my migraine begins, it’s hard for me to immediately wake up. She keeps on asking whether the chronic migraine began during chiropractic. I can’t remember. All she does is jump to conclusion that it is chiropractic. She concludes not to find chiropractic. Inside my heart, I am filled with many questions of life. Why does she blames the doctor?

Zero Motivation

I am enjoying the short film and the talk by Talya Lavie, an Israelite filmmaker who is born in 1978, comes from an animation background and decides to do more films. She raises her funds through two Israel filmmaking foundations. Her first film ‘Zero Motivation’ wins Best Director, Best Screenplay, Best Narrative Feature, and Nora Ephron Prize award in Tribeca Film Festival 2014. I learn from her that she believes in her own stories and persists in her own filmmaking journey by producing short animation and films. In her animation production, she doesn’t interact with people. However, there are many communications with people in her filmmaking journey.

I am shocked that a brother in Christ (in Kenya whom I pray for) wants to start a church due to few churches and need my ministry guidance. I feel so small and unworthy. Then I ask my business mentor’s church ministry reach out to which country. Her church only concentrate in East Timor. I never want my ministry name to be in Kenya. It is just a small ministry, Lord. Who else to approach?

I am strongly motivated to produce the media and to grow in Him until a poetry birth in me titled Deep Motivation uploaded to Daylight Tune ministry blog to love my Lord and Saviour.

Nai’s echoing words sound afar ‘Your artwork is commercial! Don’t get philosophical!” I can’t be bothered anymore. I want God.

Strength

Thank God to just realize my business mentor also does natural therapy business. She does it for me for free out of kindness and strong belief in Christ.

Sensing God’s presence slightly and the words spoken by Cory Tynan that I know all the answer. The career consultant mentioned that all are at my disadvantage so doing projects is the way to earn income. And I need to calm down.

During the conversation with my business, I share that some men don’t have enough strength to press the acupressure points. She has a great strength. I am surprised she mentions to me,

“Thought you have pretty good strength? It does not mean that men naturally have good strength. My son also does not have.”

However, I feel so small and reply her, “My strength is considered the weakest among my siblings. My dad is the strongest. Too bad he has hurt his palms and fingers when moving house. So he had two operations for his palms and fingers.”

What does she sees in me?