Dizzy

Staggering
Spinning
Blurring
Sights

People
Things
Environment
Move around

Is there an earthquake?
Why are my legs wobbly?
Is my body out of balance?
Why my head feels spinning?

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Inspiration On: Saturday, 27 August 2016

The other friend whom I celebrate my friend’s birthday informs her husband to send me home. She knows that I can’t go home by myself if I’m drunk. But I don’t know whether I am drunk. I just feel that my body is lighter and easier to speak out of my heart. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Confession Time

Red water drips smoothly into
The wine cup
Celebrating my close friend’s birthday
A close friend and even colleague

Please listen to me
Wanted to speak my heart out to her
Her two other friends confide and share

My heart and mind feel lighter
The message to deliver to my friend
Turns into cries and willingness to go for therapy
Unexpected of her kind comfort

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Inspiration On: Saturday, 27 August 2016

I want to talk to my close friend about my feelings. However, I don’t know how to put it. Today celebrate my friend’s birthday with two other friends at the friend’s house. Appreciate for my friend to ask my address so that she can send me home before I get drunk. I don’t know the feeling of drunk. I appreciate to have it at my friend’s house because I feel safer. We share our broken-heartedness due to our decisions. I learn a new insight from the other friend how to discern wisely. I’m surprised I become dizzy and feels lighter. Suddenly, every experiences are spoken, the developing sociophobia due to my husband and mother in law, then the feeling of everyone is awaiting me to make mistakes. When my forgetfulness frustrates others especially my good friend, I feel so hurt. So I can’t wait to go for therapy. I should have listened to my ex-business mentor to go for earlier assessment and get help. The reason I didn’t listen is due to always listen to others’ advises and do it. In the end, it land me to dire situations. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Please Listen to Me

Do you know
What you are doing?
Do you know
Who are the people she sends to?

My eyes open wide
Overlook the email sent by the person
Last night I have been asking
Ex-business mentor who has been in the finance industry

I speak out
I explain my thoughts
Only to be treated
Being self-defensive

Yes
I made the mistake
I’m wrong
Forgive me

Being silent
Seems the best
Nobody wants to listen me
Please listen to me

Are everybody waiting for me
To make mistakes unexpectedly?
Why do I make the mistakes?
Forgive me, Lord

If I go earlier for autism assessment
Then earlier for therapy
I will not land my friend into trouble
If I listen to advise

Hold onto my tears
Rush to the bathroom
Hiding in the cubicle
Tears roll down uncontrollably

Stop then return to my desk
A lady colleague gives
A sour salty sweets
Then a big pack of tissue

Embarrassingly tears hard to control
Sobbing quietly
Picking tissue pieces after pieces
Hold onto to it

A kind gesture from a colleague
Swear to keep quiet
Willingly to lend a pair of listening ears
Thanking profusely yet choose to keep quiet

Reminded of the Bible
Beware of wagging tongues
Spread like wildfire
Being quiet and cry to my Lord

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Inspiration On: Friday, 26 August 2016

I just want to do my best. I overlook the email that the customer sent to my higher management. My friend sees it and is scared so she scolds me. When I explain myself, she feels that I am being self-defensive. Oh no! I make the mistake. I don’t mean it to happen.

Prevention is better than cure

Prevention is better than cure
Mostly quoted idiom
Very few people mean it
Most people quote it so well
The fact is few people really care

Once the weaker ones
Speak out
Highlight
Seeking help

The stronger ones
Put it down
Push it aside
Overlook it

Refuse to stretch out
Their hearts, feet and hands
Forget the idiom
Prevention is better than cure

As the weaker ones
Welling tears dry up
Tired of speaking
Hitting the head against the wall

Until a truly caring person
Willingly stretch out help to the weak
Who attempt to stand up again
The weak faces all disadvantages

Needing the Saviour’s intervention
Who gives many opportunities
Through the people who truly reach out
To the weak to stand up

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Inspiration On: Tuesday, 23 August 2016

Lately, I am pissed off with someone who quotes, “prevention is better than cure”. However, when someone is slightly sick, he/she is being chided for making noise. Therefore, I feel the person who speaks it out is contradicting. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

A Cycle of Pattern

On my office table
An apple on my office laptop
A 2014 courier receipt attention to my name
A sealed box of ferrero rocher
Today the glue bottle is lost

On my friend’s table
Unfinished drinks in dispensable cups
Shock her many times
Today is a can of energy drink
None is lost

Two times to receive food to consume
More than two times she throws drinks
My two cases happen twice before
Another account manager mentions
Employ experienced or students
My friend’s cases happen
After that manager mentions

Life is likened to
A cycle of pattern
For different people

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Inspiration On: Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Opposite Perspectives

Assigned to assist in another department
Entering into the same high security space
Three levels of tight security

Imbues in me
A sense of security and privacy
Towards the consumers

Another colleague
Speak out her view based on media
Many levels of hell

Conclude people often perceive others
Through their own lenses and experiences
Rather than finding out the truth and matter

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Inspiration On: Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Thank God for the opportunity to help at my current employers’ warehouse to do stock count for two hours to represent my friend who hasn’t reached office. Grateful joy of working together with a new colleague and other two colleagues. It’s good for mobile phone is not allowed to use inside for the card users’ privacy. A male colleague nicely warn not to touch things not to our area. Or else if things are lost and captured by camera, it will give people the wrong impression. A lady colleague leads us into the safety room. As we walk into the room, we need to sign in. It is a large square space filled with boxes of cards and machines. I see people walking around and speaking to one another. There are three level of security doors. The other colleague feels that the level of security is likened to levels of hell. However, I don’t see it that way. I feel that it gives the secure feeling. In the third level warehouse, I count the cards with machine is to perform my job. However, a lady colleague says I want to play the card count machine. What type of message do I give to people? Or is it she sees people that way? Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Help in Balance

The one
Who seek my help
Fiercer than me
Quietly
Lend a helping hand
Care to help

Begin to a new realisation
Such a vicious cycle
An unbreakable pattern

A help cry to pay a bill
Due to overseas and reaching due date
Lending readily out of care
Promise to return it once return
I remind to pay continuous
The recipient demands its way to return

The fire inside me
Demands
Self-respect

The water inside me
Prevents
Fire from spreading like wildfire

The green nature inside me
Keeps
Water and fire in balance

The sunshine inside me
Enable
Cheerfulness despite heartache

Inspiration On: Sunday, 18 June 2016

I begin to realise about myself. I am questioning myself. Why do people tend to look down on me? Why those who ask for help speak disrespectfully to me? Yet I still care about them. After much thought, I am a people pleaser. Not just that, I also learn that Jesus is the One whom I want to please. The book about asserting myself helps me how to create a healthy boundary. I can still help others with the set aside time. Now I need to earn a living to care for my family and myself. Inside I still want to serve God. Do I overdo it, Lord? Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Stuck

Opposing perspectives
Press against me
Blank my mind
Silence falls
Treating my silence as yes

Many perspectives
Encircle around me
Hang my system
Deep thinking create silence
Being misunderstood as yes

Pressed from five sides
Live for Christ, Household, workplace, church, friendship
Being stuck in the middle
Answer yes or no put me in the wrong
Everything seems to my disadvantages

Seeking the Lord for discernment
Learning to understand
Consult the Lord
Awaiting His intervention

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Inspiration On: Tuesday, 14 June 2016

In the family, my parents often argue with each other. I often listen to my parents. Only receive slaps thrice at my butt. His bad temper scares me. Now I begin to understand myself and others. When both parties disagree based on their opinions, I feel stuck in the middle. Upon receiving Christ, I also feel stuck. I thank the Lordfor the people and the books He leads me to and even the things I do unknowingly. Now I learn to discern and the good and bad points from opposing perspectives and to learn to balance it. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

A Soft Sharp Noise

Guiding
Explaining
How to do the
Account receivable job
My close friend is there with me

A soft sharp noise
Instill fears
Into my heart
Seeking the Lord
Calmness enters my heart and mind

Again
The soft sharp noise
Jesus’ peace keeps me calm
Letting my ears identify its source
My friend’s nostril

Ask her question
Is that your breathing sound?
She confirms it and is baffled of my ears
Beginning to understand the reason I feel overwhelmed
Understanding each other better

Inside I really
Thank the Lord
To learn to clarify and find the truth
Despite my assumptions
Own assumptions can either be wrong or correct

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Inspiration On: Tuesday, 14 June 2016

My friend is guiding me how to do the accounting receivable job. A Low frequency noise scares me. It occurs when I’m with my friend who is my colleague also. Today, I thank the Lord to reveal that the strange low frequency voice is her breathing sound.

I ask to clarify, “Is that your breathing sound?”

“You can hear my breathing sound?” She is baffled I can hear.

I answer, “Yes. I thought what sound is that?”

“No wonder the company’s noise overwhelm you,” she answers knowing I use ear plugs whenever I work.

Quietly, I feel comforted that it doesn’t come from the evil one. Because I ever saw demons.

Now my fear is cleared. I feel more at ease. Lord Jesus, thank You for the self-restraint and to find out the matter.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Company Chop Merry Go Round

Requirements to fill form
Then the company will receive payment
Last procedure is
The company chop

Supervisor asks AP colleague
Then he instructs me to another department
I explain and ask for the company chop
The man doesn’t hold it
Therefore points to his lady colleague
She doesn’t hold it
And point to the AP colleague

My frustrated supervisor announces
Who is holding company chop?
An HQ colleague owns it
Resolution is made
Through the courier colleague
Return after use it
Through the courier
Instructing me to seek facility
Produce two more company chop

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 9 June 2016

My supervisor asks an AP colleague for company chop. He doesn’t have and points to another colleague from another department. I ask that colleague. He doesn’t have and point me to his lady colleague. She also doesn’t have so she points back to AP colleague. In the end, my supervisor asks everybody who has company chop. A colleague from HQ raises her hand. She has it. He explains a merchant requires us to fill their form as vendor and company chop. Then the merchant will pay. She’ll pass to the our courier colleague to deliver to us. However, we need to return it to her through the courier colleague.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.