Stiffer punishment against animals abuse in Singapore petition

A friend sends me a petition to protect our furry friends in Singapore. The reason I love dogs due to its loyalty to the owners. A new thing to learn that dogs are the creature that get excited with its owners. Such abuse is heart-wrenching. I have been through difficult times as well especially when some people doesn’t keep their promises despite wanting my loyalty. It comes to the point of disappointment and rage. Forgive them is good for me. It comes to the point that I do not want to believe them and create boundaries. However, some people really keep their word and make the effort. Thus, I respect them.

I just want this petition to stop the animal abuse. Is there a better way than this? Is stiffer punishment a better way?

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Deep Deprivation

I want Jesus
Loving Him by loving others
Giving myself too much
Completely drained
Only to realize

Refusing to follow my dad’s footsteps
End myself in his footsteps
Who is deprived of his potential
Repetitively saying
Never hurt his mother
Willingly give me away to my childless uncle
Who chooses my four years elder sister
Thus she blames our
Unwilling mother to gave her away
Instead of finding the truth

Refusing to follow my mum’s footsteps
End myself in her footsteps
Who stands on her feet
Protecting her children from emotional abuse
Being rejected as my dad’s wife
Unwillingly submit to my dad to
Either gave my sister or me away

My mother in law
My husband
Hurls humiliation
Accusations towards
My parents
My good intentions
Taking my soft heart for granted
With her crocodile tears
My dad’s good intention to rebuke my husband
Pointing the main problem in his
Mother’s psychological mindsets
Highlight the importance to
Guide own mum from wrong paths

Even sowing seeds of discords
Between my parents and I
Found it by finding the truth
Between my son and I
Found it through his words
That she is afraid to come here
Afraid my dad will call police to catch her
Why does she has to say such words to a kid?!
Why does she has such presumptions?!

Enough is enough
Enough is enough
Lord, I feel so drained
Being pushed away and head knocks onto bedside
Shows his lack of self-restraint
I need to protect my boundary in Christ’s strength
Only want His will in my life


Inspiration On: Monday, 30 November 2015

I feel so worse for not being able to understand other people’s simple English message. After many repetitions of explaining the same words, then I begin to understand the message. Why is it like this? During my single days, I feel much happier and my English comprehension is better. Now, my understanding level slows down. I feel so upset. Until I tell mum that dad isn’t totally correct. He feels reading books are useless. In fact, it helps my inspiration. What’s wrong with me reading books? In fact, I do too much and repeat the same mistakes. Reading books can inspire and help me to solve in the things I do. When I tell mum about my slow comprehension, my brother comes out trying to help. Then he asks whether I need them to help me to understand the message or just for me to share. I answer to share out my frustrations.

Deep inside I feel exhausted due to loving my parents too much and want to protect them and make them happy. So when dad mentioned that girls no need to study high. Girls just need to get married. Does he ever bother to care about my thoughts? All he can is to put me down. What is wrong to do creative work? Is it because he can’t get the mechanical job thus he put his opinion onto me? Most likely. Finally, I blurt out my findings one year ago. The reason wives are abused due to their parents quickly marry them off. Many parents don’t see the importance to let their grown up daughters to gain financial independence.

Deep down in my core, I feel so dampened and helpless for not being able to protect my parents financially, to let them suffer humiliation with me and lesser times with my five years son.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Return Shirk Responsibility

Can not stand those who shirk responsibility
It dawned upon me

The reason
Being wronged
with and without making mistakes
All blame is fully pushed onto my head

The reason
Lost self-worth
Understanding lost temper
Due to overloaded with many tasks

The reason
Scattered self
Lost self
Guilt ridden
Crying endlessly
Being diagnosed with bipolar
Expressionless
Tired of life
Seeking the Lord to bring me home

Smash!
Return his tasks back to him
Return his words back to him
To stop from
Being taken advantage


Inspiration On: Friday, 20 November 2015

The purchased groceries are wrong. So I correct my husband. Yet he dares to say, “As mentioned previously, I shall only take care ur daily meals so u don’t starve, but I still buy for u and u complaints a lot. I owe u a living? Since u are working now and have own income, it is fair that u take care and buy ur own item. Please don’t come to order me to buy anymore and complaints. Thks.” Wow. Still can say thanks. Suddenly, the words of my business mentor echoes so I use it to rebuke him, “You are the one who buy the wrong one. You are the one who say to me that you want to buy the groceries.”

Now I can see his real face, “Do u send any info when asked me to buy? And those r not groceries, those r what u want to use but I don’t use. U should buy for urself whatever u want to use.” Again my business mentor’s words inspires me, “Be more observant.” So I tell him off, “I have the written the correct words. The one that you buy does not state the correct words. Be more observant.

He is a great schemer to say, “As I mentioned, I don’t use those item. If u don’t like what I bought for u, u should go and buy for urself, not asking other to buy for u.” All I can respond is, “You learn to buy. You are the one who said want to retire early. You are the one who said want to have a child. You are the one who said to give allowance.”

He loves to say I argue when he is the one who wants to argue, “Sorry, I got limited SMS. I don’t want to argue all this and wasting my SMS as I still need the free SMS quota for work. Just buy for urself since u working.” Unexpectedly, I argue back, “I don’t need such excuse. I just start to work and don’t earn much. Yet you still have the cheek to say such things. The myojo instant noodle is not the one I normally eat.”

He reminds my words, “U also say u want to work to share all expenses, but after 5 years saying u r not bringing anything to support and all burden to me.” Now, I begin to see the reason I have a hard time to secure a job. Associate with a wrong person can cost my mental and physical issues. I respond according to the fact, “You are a good talker. I’m not even you.” He seems to hurrily respond, “Then don’t talk. Case closed.” I argue, “Case is not closed.”

His message makes me laugh, “Up to u. My side case closed, if u feel not closed, it is ur problem. I am not going to reply ur SMS anymore.” I just respond, “It is your problem too. Then talk.” Such an excuse, “Don’t talk better. I don’t want to have another fighting in front of kid. It is not good for kid growth.” I suggest, “Then talk inside the room. You are just using the kid as your excuse. Every time quarrel you like to do it I front of others. Then talk inside the room. You are just using the kid as your excuse. Every time quarrel you like to do it I front of others.”

It is contradicting for him to say, “Up to u to think whatever about me. I don’t care & also tired to explain for ur understanding. I have nothing to talk with u except issue related to kid.” The more I return his shirk responsibility back to him, “Then tomorrow you bring son yourself.” He is a cunning fellow, “I have no problem if u, as a mother, feel that our issue can make u, as a mother, don’t care about kid school. Just pass to me his birth cert, our marriage cert and his bank details including card and I will settle myself. If the school require ur sign, I will inform u and u come at ur convenient time.” I end it, “I don’t want to sign. You sign it yourself. You are his father. You are the one who wants to cancel his Hebron school. You go to his school to inform them.”

Then he replies, “As I mentioned, pass me his birth cert, our marriage cert & his bank details. I will sign & only called u if they need u to sign. I will inform Hebron also.” Absolute answer to him, “Nope. You go and ask them first. Then you cancel Hebron first. You are his dad.”

All I think is to post scenery sketch to YY. A way to thank her and to show my appreciation. I like her personality until I can’t help except to sketch waterfall scenery for her. It suits her. So I leave my room, get envelope, and enter playroom to find postage stamp in the drawer. I can’t find it. Oh, I had moved the box to my part time job office. Creaks. My ears detect it. My husband enters into the storeroom. Then I return to my room. He enters with a screwdriver! I abruptly stand at my drawer to protect my son’s and my marriage certificate. Oh no! He refuses to respect my boundary. He pushes. I stand strongly not to be pushed. His infuriated breath sounds so strong. Mightily he pushes me. My back head knocks against the bed side. Right hand and right calf pains a bit. Suddenly, my parents enter our room. My dad warns him fiercely. Don’t lay a hand on his daughter. Or else he’ll discipline my husband. My dad definitely accept his fight. He furiously quarrel with my dad. It led both of them out of the room. BANG! I close my room door with my mum inside. Fearfully, I unlock my drawer. Take out the certificates. Pass it to mum. Then I take a cloth bag to cover it. Through the door, I heard my husband blames I am the one who pushes him first. I raise my voice that he is the one who pushes me first. I am guarding my drawer. I have said I refused to open my drawer. Yet he disrespect my boundary. He pushes me onto the bedside. I thank God for them and appreciate their love and care for me. If I listen to the impression in my heart, I would have moved the certificates into my office. The most safest place. Now, all the certificates are in my parents’ hands. Though it is safe, I am concerned on their lives. I quickly slip my will writing under a folder in order not to let my parents see.

Then he looks remorseful. His voice sounds kind. Persuading me to go to the other room to discuss. Every time he is the one who initiates to discuss. I have enough. Refuse to go over. All he can say is sorry. His sorry sounds remorseful. I want to accept his apology. However, I keep quiet. I want him to know his own wrong. I don’t want to be fooled and taken advantage anymore.

Then he text message me, “I am very sorry for just now incident. I don’t mean to cause u falling on ground. Sorry again. But I still don’t understand why u don’t want to pass those items to so I can complete everything within a day, I still cannot agree u keep all those documents for urself only” From it, I can sense he pushes the blame onto me.

He continues, “Anyway, we are at this stage where no trust between us. Do u still think we should stick together?” I choose silence treatment. That shows he doesn’t wake up to his senses. All he can do is blaming others for making him the way he acts.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

The Scapegoat Wife

Any mistakes
Shirk responsibilities
Blame the wife
Playing the words

Wife becomes the scapegoat
Wife admits own mistakes
Only to be pushed to the brink
Living in hell


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 17 November 2015

Since I didn’t sleep for one night, I feel so relieved and sleepy for the script and children’s book reach the end. When I am tired, my husband asks about the prudential and need immediate reply. He tell me to cut the kindergarten earlier so can get refund. Then he mentions to me for my mum not to show dark face to the maid. His presumption is getting stronger. So I rebuke him. He emphasizes that putting our son into The nearby kindergarten is my idea and responsibility. That shows he is finding fault. When I ask him whether I am his wife, he plays with his words meaning whether I want to be his wife. Can see he is scheming. I need to stand up for myself.


Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Accuser & Spoilt

No appreciation when doing right
Awaiting me to make mistakes
Criticizing and degrading
Awful feelings worse beyond measure
Losing oneself to give too much

Just doing little things
Obstinate own greatness
Refuses to admit own mistakes
Spouting curses with own lens
Disrespecting own life partner


Inspiration On: Friday, 30 October 2015

When I ask my husband to press my hurting acupoints, he keeps on nagging me on my lifestyle to see the computer. The part-time admin job I am doing doesn’t use computer. I have been using physical strength and mind focus. Thus I lose my temper and speaks harshly to him that my chronic migraine worsens after I give birth to our son. Abruptly he seizes the opportunity to blame me to blame our son. Angrily cursing me if I’m not his wife, he doesn’t care if I die. He says that he says it out of concern. But I disbelieve him. Unexpectedly, I give the devil a foothold and am reminded the nightmare he was finding my fault as an excuse when our son was sleeping on the bed. However, his true nature is revealed. He walks towards the door. When he is going to open the room door, I push him and stop him from opening the door. I don’t want our son to be hurt. He points to me that I’m in the wrong. Then he finds fault with my mum about the card top up and his bank statement. I rebuff him that my dad has cleared the misunderstandings. So I bring his mum into the picture. He keeps on pushing for evidence. Pushing and pushing. My tone rises up with the reality. After his mum failed attempts wanting to hold the household groceries last two years, this year July he demanded to handle the household groceries. He admits it his own mindset. This remind me the coffin nightmare. This clearly reveals he doesn’t admit his mum’s instigation. He feels tired of this. Yes. It is my fault to speak harshly. So I apologize to say so and to push him. But he doesn’t admit his own fault. He feels I care for my parents, church and help others. So he insists to divorce and sell our flat. But I disagree. Inside I feel so betrayed not to listen to my parents. I show compassion to my mother in law. Only to be hurt by her. Does he knows this?! Until I angrily rebuke him. “Is his mother his wife?! Or am I his wife?!” Is my intercession for him to live and to take me away to be with Him useless? I have been feeling that I am a burden and feeling so guilty for physical and mental limitations. I really appreciate those who have been loving and helping me. Perine’s words quoting King David’s intercession for his first son with Bathseba useless so I need to stop mourning. Siti’s mother is a widow who remarried again and the quarrel stopped. Realizing the pattern from my grandparents. My grandma (dad’s side) is a widow. Is the Lord protecting me from something abusive from my husband that my dad is anticipating? Is the Lord breaking the generational curse?

Though I feel responsible of my own mistake, the Lord reveals the true nature of my own husband. No wonder I feel repressed. He is a spoilt brat who is a male chauvinist. I regret to confide in him my failings. Only to be put down. He refuses to admit his own mistakes. I thank the Lord to know he is trying to pressure me to kick my parents out of the house. He is just making an act to ask his mum to stay her hometown. If my parents are kicked out, his mum definitely came. Never in my life to meet a scheming man. Tomorrow, he brings our son out by himself. No wonder I feel so pressured and stressed to be with him. No appreciation when I do what is right. And I reject his personality in my heart completely. Our son’s pet fish was killed by him. However, he pushed the blame to our son until he cried out blameless until I need to comfort the little child.

He keeps spouting his own greatness and I don’t do anything. Making an excuse to engage an outside helper rather than lessening his burden. Always taking other couples’ examples. However, I don’t say out about my brother in law who cares for my sister and wanting to engage a helper. Buying groceries for only three months already complain. Always say he has done a lot. I buy the groceries out of responsibility. My mum lends a helping hand due to my physical limitations and migraine. In the end, I remind him that he keeps on insisting he is very smart and blur. Until he admits he is not great. Slaps a fifty dollar note onto the sofa hand to make a clean break he doesn’t care on the things I buy. He only bothers the household.

Surprisingly, the Holy Spirit helps me to calm down after the fight. As I write these down, I feel His presence comforting me. The Lord knows my heart to feel so worse. Is He going to send someone again to catch me? Just like the business mentor/partner who is a sister in Christ. All I can think is for mothers to bring children to workplace. Every mother takes turn to care the child. Looking at the photos of my happy parents from their short overseas trip makes me happy.

Wish you all have good days and thank you. 

Taffany

Life has not been easy for Taffany. Her “yes” has landed her into a lowly state she hates. Saying yes to her parents to encourage her to marry first when she wishes to find a job. Saying yes to her boyfriend’s marriage proposal. Wedding banquet reveals the array of her beauty to her family, friends and relatives. A year later, her baby is born into this world. Both couples are filled with joy upon seeing the newborn on Tiffany’s hugs.

Grinning with joy, Mill promises to her to enjoy her life with her baby. Her husband promises to be her fertilizer. Those promises seem too good to be true, but she believes it. Instead of helping her to reach to her potential, Mill and her husband desire to control her through abusive words, cutting her low financial allowance and even gang up with his siblings to abuse her. Using their loved toddler as an excuse to divorce her for their own agenda. Mill’s unscrupulous possessiveness led her son’s blindness and downfall. But The ord is not blind. Their secret agenda is exposed to the light. And to their disappointment, Taffany’s parents protect her without her realizing it when she runs away from home. When the gregarious situation is solved, Taffany’s parents rebuke her for pitying Mill and not listening to their warnings to avoid Mill’s evil schemes. Taffany feels stupid.


Written On: 14 November 2014 at 10am

Proofread On: 21 December 2014 at 3:20am

This fiction is written based on a true story of a friend with names are changed to protect their identities. Therefore, I use present tense to depict the reality of life and the pain many women go through. Enjoy!

Freedom & Liberty

Freedom
Liberty
In slavery
In speech
In democracy
In breaking tradition
In breaking law
In our lives

Does freedom in our lives
Brings happiness to us?
Does freedom in law breaking
Cultivate seeds of love or evil?
Does liberty in all things
Cause us to abuse our authority?

Do we use freedom to send love and peace into the world?
Do we use liberty to love one another?
Does freedom protects the earth or abuse it?

What is freedom?
What is liberty?
What is this so called freedom and liberty?


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 25 December 2013 from 10:27pm to 10:35pm

Steve Hi’s poetry in Freedom as Cooperative inspired me and I responded with the birth of this rhythm poetry echoing in my mind. When I search the link to Steve’s poetry at wordpress, I can’t seems to find it. Please, Steve, respond to this poetry with your links when you read this. Thank you.

Thanks to Ann Koplow to visit my blog and provide me the link to Steve Hi’s poetry available at http://stevehi312.wordpress.com/2013/10/16/freedom-as-co-operative/.