Favour in Unfavourable Situations

Guidance in
Caring my son
Cooking food
Resume writing

Through my parents and the people
The Lord has put in my lives
My heart is filled with gratitude
Towards my Lord Jesus and the people

Courage enters into my heart
Humble myself
Willingly admit my son’s condition
Seeking help on his behalf


Inspiration On: Thursday, 18 February 2016

Thank God and appreciate my mum to wake my son up with me and send him for school bus. She guides me in cooking methods and instructs me to buy collimix for my son to have better appetite. I listen and buy it for my son’s sake. Indeed, he feels better and has the appetite to eat his food after he wakes up. She explains the need of antibiotics to heal my son’s fever.

Amazing courage from the Lord to admit and confess to my cell group that my son has dyslexia. Oh no! I need to bring him to psychologist for assessment. It hurts me whenever I think of answering the dyslexia app questions. Lord, please give me confirmation from his school teacher.

FX (career coach) has edited the soft copy of my resume in a better layout. However, the downloaded edited resume (with the layout she does) words space disappear. Then the idea comes to open the resume I sent her and edit according to the part she edits. Thank God for her to have such ideas.

Thank God to answer my prayer and my cell members pray for His favour for a good general practitioner doctor. He explains the importance and good points of antibiotics to my husband. It is just to be taken for five days. Virus is likened to a lion whereas bacteria is like the running dog. Many doctors forget its benefits. That’s enough to shut his one-sided biases.

The “draw it out” words on the recent dragon dream keep echoing. Lord, should I draw it out? I take a heavy illustrated poems to read to my son. He answers that it is meant for him when he is bigger. So I ask which character he likes most. He points to an awful dragon illustration. I am shocked. How can there be a coincidence? Strangely, I am reminded of the article that autistic and dyslexia prove to be good combination. Oh no! Oh no! What should I do, Lord?

The resume that I need to send to education ministry has been completed and the time is up for me to send to education ministry. So I have to shower, take dinner and bring my son to see the doctor for complete healing. Why is this always happening, Lord? Why is sending resume for jobs are always being disturbed?

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

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Let Go

Cell leader shares
Her struggles to let go her husband
Who was in sickness beyond measure

Struggle with God
Regarding my husband
Stops

Let go
And
Let God

All struggle ends
Time to rise up from denial
Embrace the truth


Inspiration On: Saturday, 13 February 2016

When I am at LT’s house for Lohei, cell leader shares her about her husband who passed away. The doctor mentioned that his sickness was beyond cure, she was still holding onto him. In the end, she learns to let go and let God makes the decision. Next day, he passed away and with the Lord. She feels depressed. I keep quiet and feel speechless. I also let God make the decision. My struggle reaches to the end.

Then it is the turn to visit my house and I need to lead the way. In the MRT, cell leader explains the importance for my son to learn to let go of the umbrella. She doesn’t ask the happenings in my son’s life when he was 3 years and 4 years old. She thinks lightly of it. I feel speechless of humans to really sit down and listen rather than giving advises non-stoply. I appreciate my husband to prepare five pieces of Hong Bao with $8 in each. My cell member Jy reaches my house first due to her children need the toilet. She shares that he smiles during his talk. That’s good. However, I already know his true colours. So I keep quiet. He goes out to have lunch. All children play with Huey happily. Suddenly, Jy personally asks me how I meet my husband. Embarrassingly, I admit it is my home church friends who matchmake. I don’t want to go for the matchmake session. I admit that I go for it to make my mum happy. Then she asks whether he gives money to my parents. Ashamedly, I admit he doesn’t give. I’m the one who gives whenever there is job. The house first payment I come out the money besides of him. After married, he has been paying for it. Everybody is leaving soon. Suddenly, my room door is locked. After I investigate the matter, Huey locks my room door.

Then we rush to my cell leader’s house with taxi. I sit in the same taxi with LT and IL. Irene explains the need for me to immediately strikes the iron while it is hot. It is the importance to speak to my son about locking my room door and let him reflect on his behaviour. It helps for him to write it in a reflection book so that he can keep tracks of it. She has a point. The taxi reaches cell leader’s house. LT pays for the taxi fare when I want to pay my share. I feel uncomfortable about it.

Upon returning home, my parents give me a share of their food. I feel so grateful. I find out that my mum’s opinion is not listened by my husband in caring our son in his slight fever. She means that my son shouldn’t take shower, just wipe body. However, my husband gives him shower. My mum cooks porridge for him. She purposely advises him to eat it for dinner and let my husband hears. My husband goes out and buys noodle from food court. This is too much. Does he cares our son’s well being?! This saddens her. There is a sudden idea to tell my mum to speak the opposite way in order to make my husband to do the way that is according to our son’s well-being. I know that she cares my son’s well-being. I know my husband well that he tends to purposely do the other way in order to get back at her. This is too much. Nobody in the cell knows this. I feel ashamed of his doings. At night, mum advises me not to let my son shower. Then he comes out of the room and says the same thing. I also choose not to let my son to take shower. I prepare his medication. My husband speaks as if he is a know it all. This is so saddening. Suddenly, he says that he is going to dentist to repair his tooth tomorrow.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Reality Discovery

Wanting to repeat
School dance and singing
To let me see tomorrow
Not to let my friends watch
Only want to let me see

Inside my heart I feel so privileged
Joy bumps in my heart and mind
Wishing he can do so to Jesus

Time for bed
Mouth continuously opens
Talking incessantly
Repeating his question repetitively
Coming down from his bed

No peace of mind
Steam rises out of my head
Raising my voice to him to sleep

Share the reason he refuses to welcome
A younger boy to his bed
Due to being pushed and knocked his head
Chooses not to fight back
Caring towards younger than him

Instantly compliment his good behaviour
Encourage him to tell me earlier
Comforted of his kindness

As he closes his eyes and mouth
Peaceful reflections run through my mind
Dawns upon me the hurts and pains
In same experiences
In same responses

Speechless
Better self understanding
Lead to understand my son better


Inspiration On: Friday, 12 February 2016

I’m happy for my son just want to sing and dance for me to see. I wish he can do so for Jesus. Oh, it’s so irritating for my son to be so talkative before sleep until I lose my temper. He repeats that he dislikes a younger toddler named Namur because Namur pushed him until his skull hurts. Suddenly, Mr. Peabody and Sherman animation comes to my mind. I also remind him of Sherman with the girl who bullied him. Then they become good friends. In conclusion, I point to him that he has a good heart not to take revenge. I’m attempting to encourage his kind behaviour. Inside my heart, I feel so thankful to God and feel comforted. Suddenly, the Lord opens my eyes to understand myself. After I was pushed by my husband, a few days later I tell to my parents. I thought they know. They are shocked of me not telling them earlier. Oh no! I don’t wish my son to be bullied. I need to take note of him. Though he can exaggerate, his sensitivity level is high as mine. This is a shocking self discovery, realization and reality.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Balance Stack Walk

Stack up the play doh buckets.
Brisk into the room elegantly.
Yeah!
I did it!

Plop! Plop! Plop!
The buckets topple.
Aw!
I mess up!

Pick it up again
Stack up again
Yeah!
I did it!

Plop! Plop! Plop!
The buckets topple again.
Aw!
I mess up!

Having fun to balance walking
Bringing play doh buckets stacks.


Inspiration On: Saturday, 3 January 2014 at 4pm

My toddler enjoys to play ‘play doh’ clay. My house rule is to clean and tidy up after play. For the first time, he chooses to stack up the ‘play doh’ buckets. He wants to learn the circus way of balancing. Wish you all have good days and thank you. 

Crumbs

Purposely tear tiny crumbs of
Banana cakes onto the table for ants
Ants gather it to nest


Inspiration On: Friday, 2 January 2014 at 10:15pm

Filled with compassion to see the spying ants looking for food, my four years six months toddler tore crumbs of banana cakes onto the table. Upon understanding his feelings, I feel so glad and happy. Wish you all have good days and thank you. 

Animal Wheel

Animal wheels with
Red giraffe, blue cow, yellow duck and white sheep
Soft toys are
Whirling around as the wind blows

In the night
The red giraffe jumps down
Onto the toddler
Tickles him
Play with him
The toddler giggles
As the giraffe giggles
A sweet dream


Inspiration On: Monday, 18 August 2014 Midnight to Night
Inspiration Ends On: Tuesday, 19 August, 2014 at 2:28pm

The wheel with many four animals soft toys are always under my son’s bed. He dreamed the giraffe soft toy jumped onto him and tickled his neck. He narrated it with his gestures and expressions wriggled in laughter. He misunderstood it as nightmare. Therefore, I explained to him it was a nice dream, not a nightmare. A nightmare involves in fearful feelings. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Dorayaki Chases

Eyes
Mouth
Hands
Legs
Erupt out of dorayaki

Noticing a toddler
With an evil hungry look
Dorayaki chases after him
He is startled
As it approaches him
STOP!!!
He shrieked

Dorayaki freezes
Abruptly, he
Gulps
Munches
The whole dorayaki


Inspiration On: Sunday, 17 August 2014 during midnight to evening
Inspiration Ends On: Tuesday, 19 August, 2014 at 2:19pm

A Dorayaki chased after him and going to gulp him. Wriggling in fear, he shouted in fear, “STOP!!!” The Dorayaki froze. And the position reversed. It was his turn to eat and munch the frozen Dorayaki. This happened during midnight as my toddler cried in his sleep and shouted in his sleep, “STOP!!!” Then he calmed down and continued his sleep. His dad went near him as I was soundly asleep due to anti-depressants. Wish you all have good days and thank you.