Aimless Walk

Walking aimlessly
Seeking a destination
A solace space
To pour
Every scattered ideas floating in my mind

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Inspiration On: Tuesday, 10 November 2015 at 4pm

It is great to write and publish own creativities into wordpress. It feels great. However, I feel dampened from inside. I walk into the kitchen to eat fruits. Then I return to the computer. Only to be misunderstood by my mother who nags at me. “Stop looking at the computer for too long!” Of course, I feel so upset to always being misunderstood. When I walk into the kitchen, she doesn’t see it. Why do people tend to judge on what they see instead of finding out the whole matter?

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Do I or Do I Not?

Do I matter?
Or do I not matter?

Only to be a door mat
Or to be a floor mat

Is my dream unacceptable?
Only to be overwritten
Opinions are given to me to be listened

Is my voice unheard?
Due to my softness

My mind wanders
Aimlessly in the clouds

My legs wanders
Aimlessly between house and outside

Do I matter?
Or do I not matter?

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Inspiration On: Sunday, 1 March 2015 at 4:20am to 4:34am

Driven by the strong feelings of depression, I begin to question my existence. Questioning the reason of me being alive instead of my eldest sister who is more intelligent then I do. Her intelligence and strong absorption in learning are praised by my parents. And I know I am slow. Hence, I do my best in my studies. Escaping deaths thrice plus twice. I feel so tired of living and being taken advantage. Do I able to succeed to contribute to my family financially? Thank you for your time to read this poetry. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Ocean of Woe

Drifting aimlessly
On the vast ocean
Ocean of life’s troubles
Ocean of woes
Floating around sorrowfully
Nowhere to go
Wondering
Feeling lonely
Hoping to find
A destination
An island
Island of team-ship rather than competition

Passing by many islands
Many islands reject after squeezing me
Give! Give! Give!
All these drain enthusiasm in me
Wearing me out
Where is the island?
The island of mutual understanding and respect
Not the dead sea island

Where is the island?
The island where I can rest
The island of mutual understanding and respect
The island of truthfulness
The island of complementing mutual needs

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Inspiration On: Tuesday, 8 October 2013 at 9:51pm
Inspiration On: Thursday, 10 October 2013 at 12:18pm

Whenever failed attempts of finding a full time job after having a child for more than three years, I feel downcast. Am I drifting aimlessly in my job search? I wish to support my parents financially. Whenever there is time, I surf the Internet at home and reply to emails and comments due to financial restriction. Some bosses squeezed me and refused to pay me the little income for the work I have done. Making excuses and even empty promises. Only consider their own interests without considering employees’ needs. These really kill my enthusiasm in my work. Don’t I need to eat? Can’t I earn a living? Their motto is their own benefit. When they want to train me, they say beautiful words.