Beyond

Accident phone cable pulls out
Attempting to repair and replace
Useless attempts

Beyond repair
Beyond help
Beyond understanding scope

Seek my help
God blesses the work of my hands
The phone is alive again

Respond
Handle with care
Maintain well
Take good care

That scares him off
Choosing to let me handle those
Since young I have been seeking to understand


Inspiration On: Sunday, 13 December 2015

There are guests coming for the Cell Group Christmas party. I re-learn to welcome them again. When I am assigned as a group leader with four kids, I feel awkward. However, I learn to accept responsibility as a leader though reluctant. When it is too noisy, my ears can’t take it. It’s good they have a good time. My son is also having a good time.

SS chats with my son. He says he doesn’t like his dad. What? Do I overhear it correctly?

At night, my son is talking with his grandmother (dad’s side). I feel much happier to leave the room and drink detox tea in the kitchen. He moves his body a lot until pulling down the phone and its cable. So the communication is totally cut off. His dad scolds him for not listening and always pulling the cable. Then he attempts to repair it to no avail. The phone rings at my parents’ room. He chooses to tell my son to answer the phone than answering the phone himself. Immediately, he uses his mobile phone to call back and explain the situation.

My husband says that now he chooses to think openly. That makes him much happier. Life is short. Finally, he comes to such conclusion. Then he explains the phone cable issue. I look at it. He opens the phone cable box socket to let me see. No cables are cut off. I close the box off. Next I see the cable is pulled out. Scrutinize it closely. The red and blue is totally cut off. The cable is beyond repair. So I use the other cable for the printer fax machine as the replacement. It works perfectly. He says that he has tried it but it doesn’t work. Maybe he doesn’t plug the head deeply. Suddenly, I am reminded of my previous full time job working days. My two female employees were being bullied by the server. Whenever they switched it on, the server refused to switch on. However, when WC and/or I switched it on, it switched on out of fear. It was the joke and so true. Therefore, I joke with my husband that the cables dislike him and bully him due to his lack of understanding towards them. Then I joke more. Who ask him to bully me? That’s why the cables bully him back. He speaks out to let me handle all those. I respond to let him learn. And conclude to him, “handle with care and maintain well.” Because I remember him saying to throw rather than repair. I believe to maintain and repair.

Thanks for reading my poetry and hope this poetry minister and bless you.

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Door Mat?

What am I?
Am I a door mat?
Only to be trampled on?

What am I?
Am I a door mat?
Easily to be taken advantage of?

What am I?
Am I a foolish person?
Awaiting to be bullied?

What am I?
Am I a comical person?
Awaiting to be laughed at?

I am also HUMAN
With different values!
With different perspectives!
LISTEN to ME or JUST go AWAY!

Inspiration On: Wednesday, 04 February 2015 at 9am

This is a painful realization to me for being myself. Bullied at school. Care not to hurt others’ feelings, those wolves prey on my kindness. Cheating my hard-earned money! Backstab me behind my back when I care for them.

Disharmony from Inside

Sight of someone ticks you off
Continue to dwell in it
Likewise jealousy
Continue to dwell in it
Bullying occurs
In family
In school
In workplace
In society
Among races
Among countries

Abuse others
Bullying others
To make oneself feels good
Abuser feels superior

Don’t abusers think that
They impose pain to the abused
Instil the abusee hatred
Abusee may or may not commit suicide
Before or after strife with
The abuser


Inspiration Ends On: Monday, 23 September 2013 from 10:44am to 10:55am

Stop Testing My Patience

Stop! Stop!
Please stop
Please stop
Your nuisance
Please stop
Testing my patience

Please stop
Hitting
Please stop
Kicking
Please stop
Bullying
Please stop
Your nonsense

Please stop
Bullying in school
Bullying in enterprise
Please
Respect
Care
Practice compassion
In this world

What will you do?
If you are in my position?
What will you do?


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 26 June 2013 at 10:03am
Inspiration Ends On: Sunday, 14 July 2013 at 2:51pm

I can’t stand a person who tried to find fault. Every time I’m the one who tried to avoid quarrel, they are trying to quarrel with my family. So I have been feeling and wishing them to stop testing my patience.

Weak or Dislike Fight

Is quiet being considered as weak?
Does refusing to fight back is considered weak?
We, the introverts, prefer to avoid quarrel
We dislike fight
We dislike quarrel
We hope the bully starters to stop barking

Why should you (bully starters) find fault with us?
What do you (bully starters) dislike in us?
We, the introverts, love peace
We love quietness
We love amicable resolution
We wish the bully starters to respect our boundaries

Bully starters, please stop bullying the weak
Before the situation switch over
And you regret your attitudes and doings
Be more understanding
Be more respectful
Please stop your bullying upon the quiet


Inspiration On: Saturday, 22 June 2013 at 1:35am to 2:16am

Recently, my niece and nephew came from abroad with their mother for a few days. They are my cousin’s wife and children. So they lodge at my house. My son was very happy to have a friend to play. My niece chose to stay home than going out with her mother and my mother. At first, he allowed her to play his tricycle then I snatched back. Sometimes he resort to hitting. He hit my niece who is older than him by one year. But she reminds me of myself. Though she was hit a few times, she didn’t fight back. She chooses to avoid fight hoping the relationship will be well again. Though they are well again, the disagreement happened again. Of course, this raged me and told my son to stop hitting. I can resonate with my niece’s feeling. She is quiet who colours well and mind her own things. I enjoy looking at her colouring.

Recalling of my bad memories to be bullied at school and at home, my mindset resurfaced much clearer now.

Deep Buried Feelings

Deep buried feelings were kept somewhere.
Painful memories were left unidentified for ten years.
Not ten years, more than that.
Unknowingly, it was planted since young.
It was sowed seed by seed.

Motivation of study is from external source.
Motivation of study only comes from mother.
No inner motivation to do so.
No sense of purpose in life.
No compass to guide me.
Only my parents are my compass.

We followed mother to her chosen destination to give us good future.
We lived in an uncle’s house due to lack of finance.
With my own eyes, I saw my mother being bullied.
I wish to stand strong, but I’m weak.
I’m standing at the corner.
I feel lost.
Angry with my self!
Why am I so slow?
Why am I a weakling?
Leave me alone.
I just wish to be quiet.

A slight headache.
Someone came to my rescue.
It is like a Light enters my heart.
There is a sense of purpose.
I need to stand strong.
I can’t!
But in the Light I can.

A door is closed.
But He opens a window.
A window opens my mind to marriage.

With just a few words through written message,
My past deep feelings were dug out.
No, I think I found out now.
Now I found out what it is.
Found out the root cause to fear of marriage.
It is the very seed that takes root in my heart since young.
It shaped my thinking.
It also shaped my heart.


Expressed on: Friday, 07 November 2008.