Unbelievable Call

Many Different people mention
Successful autistics are intelligent
Speechless
Reflection mood
Even my business mentor also highlight

Seeing own weaknesses
With magnifying glass
Weighs me down
Slower than others in
Absorption
Movement
Response
Speech

That does not deter me
From standing up again due to
A cause I belief in Jesus
An unbelievable call
A higher call

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 19 January 2016

Uncle WY calls me in the morning before I leave the house. He is worried and concerned about my well being especially in my own self-limiting beliefs. I don’t feel I am smart. I am slower than others and I just want to do my best. Strangely, my business mentor and the my cell members shares that autistics are smart – Newton and other famous people. What is God doing in my life?

A sister in Christ sends me about Samson and Luke 22:42 with the title ‘Who is my master? Me or God?’

Luke 6:46 “Why do you call me Lord, Lord, and do not do what I say?”

Samson – a man with great strength but a weakness for women. God set him apart and empowered him to deliver Israel from her enemies. But instead of chasing after God, he chased after girls. What a waste of God-given potential and abilities.

Our weakness may not be women. It may be other things that hinder our commitment to God.

Today, invite God to be Lord of our will and decisions. Luke 22:42 “not my will but Thine be done.”

I feel so speechless.

I can’t stand the noises. So I ask business mentor whether she knows any local shop that sells noise proof ear plug. No reply from her. Suddenly, I have the feeling to ask WC. I am amazed he knows the local shop to get it for a cheaper price. Suddenly, he text messages me, “My condo at is empty these few days. U can use it to do ur work in a quiet environment.” I feel so grateful, “Thank you for your kind offer.” However, I feel uncomfortable to accept the offer because he is a guy. He asks me, “Well are u interested.” I feel bad and respond, “Though I am interested, no need. You can rent it to earn income.”

The more I read on the book titled ‘Confronting Jezebel’, the more I hate satan and the more I am determined to fight back against his scheme.

Finally, I have completed my portfolio. I send the project portfolio that IC gave and the children’s illustration book. Most touch on character designs. Wow! I am surprised how God works. Lord, please open the doors into the animation industry through DK. I sense God’s presence in my heart.

Then I work and complete the compilation for my animated words titled, “thoughts into actions”. I feel so delighted, do some writing and upload it. I am surprised God works through IC to point me to a character designs though it looks dark. Not my style and type. I feel so pricked on the character profile and design for my cavity monsters based on ranking. Furthermore, I need to type the scripts into celtx. I feel so happy to fast one meal. I feel much better and can sense His presence.

When I am teaching my son, he asks for his money that I keep into the bank. I reply that he can get it when he grows up. Now is to earn the interest first. Suddenly, it dawns upon me about my Abba Father who let me to be disappointed to make the business work. When I see the expenses list, the spending is more than the amount I am going to put as business capital. I feel so speechless.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Frequency and Speed

Different frequency frustrates
Frustrating to put different personalities
With the same value

Frustrates one another
Until both are having a hard time
Bearing one another in love

Having the resolution
To resolve the conflict in
Christ’s love and forgiveness
Amicably


Inspiration On: Tuesday, 12 January 2016

My business mentor sends me a text message, “Praise the Lord that your hubby is attending church with you. Keep praying for breakthrough for him to be touched by God’s amazing love.”

“I hope so,” responding in hope.

“Patience. Declare and proclaim. God is working. Faith is not what we see but believe.” She encourages.

I answer, “Yes. The faith needs to be in accordance to His will.”

“Surrender your will to Him and let His will be your will.” she responds in faith.

Next I share, “I also got alarmed by the dream on Saturday midnight to morning before I attend class. Thank God for the unexpected arrangement.”

Full of her assumptions, “Hope you had shared in the post encounter class.”

“Not yet.” I answer immediately.

“Why not?” She wonders.

I’m explaining, “When everything is cleared first.” Then I testify thankfully, “My husband readily brought our son to nearby mall. My son pestered him to go.”

“Not your wisdom that you thing everything will be cleared first.” She advises.

I know it already so I answer, “Yes. Not my wisdom. Until everything comes to pass first.” Then I continue, “Then meet SS who brought us to church. I thank God to break his strong presumptions about the church at suntec. I explain to him also can’t accept. He strongly presumes that the churches at suntec are materialistic.”

“Up to you,” her response to my previous topic.

So I continue, “I try to explain more about God also can’t listen. Great for the sermon. Beyond persecution. He seems speechless. He has nothing to say. Thank God.”

“It is God who speaks not the pastor and God who causes the eye of his heart to be convicted and ears open!” She corrects. Then she questions, “What made him speechless?”

“Yes. It is God. I can only do my part. he has nothing to say against the Protestants. Great. And I thank God for that. I can relate and understand the message clearly. I thank God to help me during post encounter.” I clarify.

So fast in her opinion, “Share your dream and not think in your own wisdom you want to wait for everything to clear.”

“He enables me to point to the right verse for the given questions.” I continue on the post encounter.

She suggests, “If you wait it could be too late. As you share with the body of Christ, they can pray against the dream if it is not good or protection over you.”

“I don’t want to lose my husband. Unexpectedly, he goes to church. During intercessory prayer, I share it and the lady mentioned I need to share it to my cell leader. Then I share. They guide me to cast it down. Too soft.” I confess. My imagination guides my fingers however articulate it wrongly, “Can’t kick the devil away.” Kicking the devil away plays in my mind repetitively.

Abruptly she advises, “Never hesitate to share with your SS and CG.” She answers, “Never hesitate to share with your SS and CG.”

“Yes. SS says so.” I continue and explain further, “I realize the tone of my voice.”

So full of her opinion to get my wrong message, “By saying that you believe that Satan is greater than Jesus.”

“Nope.” I fed up in the way I express myself.

She corrects my thinking, “That what you feel by saying : Can’t kick the devil away.”

“Jesus’ authority and the tone of His voice,” I continue and feel frustrated to explain myself.

She does a screenshot of the wording, “There is power in the name of Jesus.”

“I have been thinking about the Bible,” I express.

She presses on, “The fact that you said : Can’t kick the devil away. That means you entertain the thought!” This is frustrating to talk to a fast person when I want to share about myself.

“It’s not. Can you please listen?” I plead.

Abrupt opinion, “Then can you please don’t say that!”

“Ok,” I answer instantly. Then I re-clarify, “I’m trying to say. I have been thinking about the Bible in how Jesus’ voice tone to cast out the devil.”

She says, “No, it was not what you said. The bible never said: Can’t kick the devil away.” I feel so tired talking to her and reply, “Yes”.

She exclaims, “But instead the bible cast out every demon!!!” So I apologize, “Sorry if I don’t express it correctly.”

I begin to understand the reason people misunderstands her. Because she ever asked me, “Why people misunderstand me?” She is too fast in her opinion rather than fully listen.

She pinpoints, “Don’t try to cover up your mistakes. If you don’t know something, admit you don’t know and not try to give people impression you know.” Her abrupt opinion again of me. When I don’t say I know.

“Can you please hear me out?” I plead again. Then I continue, “I have been thinking about the Bible. I am wondering about the tone of Jesus tone to cast out the devil. When Jesus rebuke the devil in Peter, “get thee behind me Satan.” In Matthew 16:23. That has been impressing my heart until now.”

Finally, she listens and responds, “Yes, and?” I feel so glad.

“Thinking about the tone of my voice.” I wonder.

She corrects, “Nothing to do with your tone of voice rather than the way of praying against the devil. How does a warrior fight? Gently or in authority?”

“In authority with love and compassion.” I’m thinking in terms of human interaction.

“You fight with the devil in love and compassion?!!!!” She loudly exclaimed. Then I realize she means spiritual realm until, “What rubbish are you talking about?”

“Nope. I thought is to hate sin but love enemy because God wants everyone to be saved. Do you mean the spiritual realm?”

“Frustrating talking to you!!! We have been taking about casting out devil!!!”

“Oh ok. No love and compassion to the devil,” I answer.

She poses a question, “You have?”

“Hatred to the devil.” I answer. Phew. This is so tiring.

Then I clarify, “Whenever I want to say something,

  1. At times thank God it is said clearly
  2. At times I feel so pulled and silenced
  3. At times I say it wrongly :(”

She expresses, “More than that : You need to stay focus on the topic and not talk about something else not related to it.”

“Got it. Thank you for this.” Finally to resolve this. Needing her voice to speak out I ask her, “Do you mind to record your voice? So that I can remember it much clearer. Thank you to do so.”

When I share about Matthew 16:23 to SS, my cell leader, I feel being heard.

I begin, “SS, I have been thinking about the Bible. I am wondering about the tone of Jesus’ tone to cast out the devil. When Jesus rebuke the devil in Peter, “get thee behind me Satan.” In Matthew 16:23. That has been impressing my heart until now.”

“What do you mean ‘Impressing’? disturb you? Or you feel He is so great to sense the devil behind Peter?” She questions.

I feel so validated and able to articulate, “I feel that He is so great to sense the devil behind Peter and can cast it away.”

“Don’t you know He is God in human form. He can even see through the heart,” she questions.

I feel better, “Yes. Those verses really makes me think a lot about Jesus.”

“Yes. What? You know He is God.” another question from her.

I comfortably answers, “Yes. He is fully God and fully Man.”

“Keep it up that He is God,” she encourages.

Thankfully I reply, “Yes. Thank you.”

“You are welcome.”

It ends better. I begin to understand the frequency between my cell leader and I. After I clarify with my business mentor, suddenly my cell leader, “Hi! Tienny, would you like to join Business mentor and myself for worship on the 15Jan, this Friday at 10am at my shop? Thanks.”

“Sure, I reply instantly.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.