Assigned to assist in another department
Entering into the same high security space
Three levels of tight security
Imbues in me
A sense of security and privacy
Towards the consumers
Speak out her view based on media
Many levels of hell
Conclude people often perceive others
Through their own lenses and experiences
Rather than finding out the truth and matter
Inspiration On: Wednesday, 29 June 2016
Thank God for the opportunity to help at my current employers’ warehouse to do stock count for two hours to represent my friend who hasn’t reached office. Grateful joy of working together with a new colleague and other two colleagues. It’s good for mobile phone is not allowed to use inside for the card users’ privacy. A male colleague nicely warn not to touch things not to our area. Or else if things are lost and captured by camera, it will give people the wrong impression. A lady colleague leads us into the safety room. As we walk into the room, we need to sign in. It is a large square space filled with boxes of cards and machines. I see people walking around and speaking to one another. There are three level of security doors. The other colleague feels that the level of security is likened to levels of hell. However, I don’t see it that way. I feel that it gives the secure feeling. In the third level warehouse, I count the cards with machine is to perform my job. However, a lady colleague says I want to play the card count machine. What type of message do I give to people? Or is it she sees people that way? Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Who seek my help
Fiercer than me
Lend a helping hand
Care to help
Begin to a new realisation
Such a vicious cycle
An unbreakable pattern
A help cry to pay a bill
Due to overseas and reaching due date
Lending readily out of care
Promise to return it once return
I remind to pay continuous
The recipient demands its way to return
The fire inside me
The water inside me
Fire from spreading like wildfire
The green nature inside me
Water and fire in balance
The sunshine inside me
Cheerfulness despite heartache
Inspiration On: Sunday, 18 June 2016
I begin to realise about myself. I am questioning myself. Why do people tend to look down on me? Why those who ask for help speak disrespectfully to me? Yet I still care about them. After much thought, I am a people pleaser. Not just that, I also learn that Jesus is the One whom I want to please. The book about asserting myself helps me how to create a healthy boundary. I can still help others with the set aside time. Now I need to earn a living to care for my family and myself. Inside I still want to serve God. Do I overdo it, Lord? Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Press against me
Blank my mind
Treating my silence as yes
Encircle around me
Hang my system
Deep thinking create silence
Being misunderstood as yes
Pressed from five sides
Live for Christ, Household, workplace, church, friendship
Being stuck in the middle
Answer yes or no put me in the wrong
Everything seems to my disadvantages
Seeking the Lord for discernment
Learning to understand
Consult the Lord
Awaiting His intervention
Inspiration On: Tuesday, 14 June 2016
In the family, my parents often argue with each other. I often listen to my parents. Only receive slaps thrice at my butt. His bad temper scares me. Now I begin to understand myself and others. When both parties disagree based on their opinions, I feel stuck in the middle. Upon receiving Christ, I also feel stuck. I thank the Lordfor the people and the books He leads me to and even the things I do unknowingly. Now I learn to discern and the good and bad points from opposing perspectives and to learn to balance it. Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Today is my first day for the part time admin job somewhere nearby my house. It is a job recommended by my business partner in a pharmaceutical company. The employer asks whether I am a graduate. Inside my heart, I am shouting, “Oh no! Do I look like a student?” Gently, I answered that I’m not, a stay at home mum and I am thirty-three years old. My business mentor’s words echo in my mind to be more observant. So I begin to observe the company’s vision, mission, pantry rules, printed motivations and even other certificates. That’s how business presentation are designed beautifully. I understand my purpose is to do work as into the Lord and to relieve the employer’s burden. I feel comfortable to do work when nobody is watching. When there is someone looking at me, I feel anxious and can’t work. Later on, during lunch time, we have a good conversation. I understand from her that my business mentor and her attended the same church. Then she moves to other church. Next, I explain to her about my freelance experiences in arts and programming. Then I confess I am starting own business to do children story with moral values through animation and books. Thank God for the courage. However, when I return home, my parents are curious and intend to tell me not to say it. Too late to say so. I thank the Lord to for the courage to say out. Who knows the Lord is opening a door to me to do media for His glory? Hallelujah. Now I begin to understand the Bible well enough stated in Ephesians 6:4, “fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” It is so obvious that my dad is doing the same thing to his children. It was just the way his mother and elder brother didn’t permit him to further his studies. He listened to them wholeheartedly. Thus impedes the growth of his potential. I have done the same mistake to listen to him wholeheartedly and feel remorseful. I begin to understand the reason Jesus reveals Himself to me. I am the weakest among my siblings. He wants to break the generational curse. I realize my mistake to almost got into trouble in my previous business partnership and failing physical deterioration. That breaks my pride. I thank the Lord and appreciate my business mentor. I can sense His love through her acts of kindness and encouragement during my failing health. Yes! I want to use the media for the Lord. After better concentration and productiveness, I can feel hope and motivation to do the animation for the Lord. At times, I still sense His presence.
Strange that people often ask me to pray for them, the person to go to, confide in me, and even to help in their computers and smart phones. Strangely, yesterday RS sent me a message through Facebook on a track of his audio production and hope to hire me in his production. Life is strange.
When I share to my business mentor on my first day to do part-time admin job, she corrects my mistake of my employer’s name. I feel so embarrassed of my own mistake. I thank the Lord for the good environment and to realize my high productivity level. In fact, I should concentrate to produce own animation. I am thinking of renting a desk with JW due to my financial constrain and can put my stuff there. I feel at ease to do the will to my parents yesterday. I wonder. I still hope in the Lord.
I feel bad to tell my mum to stop spoiling my son when I am trying to instruct my son. I hope the Lord can speak to her to respect my authority as the mother of my son. Dad also explain to her that she is spoiling her grandson.
An uncle (a brother in Christ) to call me, listen to my confession of sinning against Him for not listening to his nudging then he prays for me and assure me that God can heal autism. Since then I begin to sense God’s presence deep inside my heart. Then I humble myself to ask for help for career and for nearby cell group. We pray for Lih Shien’s and his mother’s salvation.
My mum informs me of a pastor in at the nearby church who ever prays for a sister in Christ. She wishes to stop quarreling with her husband. And it it stop. So I readily accept it. Unexpectedly, mum says out to make my husband a Christian by going to the pastor to intercede. Dad keeps quiet about it. From his body language and expression, he seems agreeable.
A friend picks me up at the mall then we go for the free make up lesson. Throughout the journey, the friend and I have a good conversation. She has visited my website and ask whether I am a writer. Her husband has lung cancer and regret not to convert to citizen. She is 60 years old. She doesn’t see the ingredients of any food and make up products. She has two sons. Her mother is bedridden so she puts the maid at her mother’s house and she has to do her household cleaning. She praises me that I can speak well during the workshop at the job agency. I answer that it is just nice. So she encourages me to attend toastmasters to learn public speaking and writing.
Strange that she doesn’t apply the make up upon herself. She let me do it.
Thank God not to feel hungry for not having dinner.
My business mentor answers my question to call WDA nearby my house. From there, I can hear the tone of frustration for her to repeat herself. I feel bad about myself to trouble her so much with my slowness. At night, she text message me about the talk by a lady Jew in SMU. From 5:30pm to 7pm. Oh no! I want to spend time with my son also. Most probably, I need to ask her to give me the summary.
Strange. When my business mentor gives up on me, another lady willingly bring me to toastmasters. What is God doing in my life?