Confession Time

Red water drips smoothly into
The wine cup
Celebrating my close friend’s birthday
A close friend and even colleague

Please listen to me
Wanted to speak my heart out to her
Her two other friends confide and share

My heart and mind feel lighter
The message to deliver to my friend
Turns into cries and willingness to go for therapy
Unexpected of her kind comfort


Inspiration On: Saturday, 27 August 2016

I want to talk to my close friend about my feelings. However, I don’t know how to put it. Today celebrate my friend’s birthday with two other friends at the friend’s house. Appreciate for my friend to ask my address so that she can send me home before I get drunk. I don’t know the feeling of drunk. I appreciate to have it at my friend’s house because I feel safer. We share our broken-heartedness due to our decisions. I learn a new insight from the other friend how to discern wisely. I’m surprised I become dizzy and feels lighter. Suddenly, every experiences are spoken, the developing sociophobia due to my husband and mother in law, then the feeling of everyone is awaiting me to make mistakes. When my forgetfulness frustrates others especially my good friend, I feel so hurt. So I can’t wait to go for therapy. I should have listened to my ex-business mentor to go for earlier assessment and get help. The reason I didn’t listen is due to always listen to others’ advises and do it. In the end, it land me to dire situations. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

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Please Listen to Me

Do you know
What you are doing?
Do you know
Who are the people she sends to?

My eyes open wide
Overlook the email sent by the person
Last night I have been asking
Ex-business mentor who has been in the finance industry

I speak out
I explain my thoughts
Only to be treated
Being self-defensive

Yes
I made the mistake
I’m wrong
Forgive me

Being silent
Seems the best
Nobody wants to listen me
Please listen to me

Are everybody waiting for me
To make mistakes unexpectedly?
Why do I make the mistakes?
Forgive me, Lord

If I go earlier for autism assessment
Then earlier for therapy
I will not land my friend into trouble
If I listen to advise

Hold onto my tears
Rush to the bathroom
Hiding in the cubicle
Tears roll down uncontrollably

Stop then return to my desk
A lady colleague gives
A sour salty sweets
Then a big pack of tissue

Embarrassingly tears hard to control
Sobbing quietly
Picking tissue pieces after pieces
Hold onto to it

A kind gesture from a colleague
Swear to keep quiet
Willingly to lend a pair of listening ears
Thanking profusely yet choose to keep quiet

Reminded of the Bible
Beware of wagging tongues
Spread like wildfire
Being quiet and cry to my Lord


Inspiration On: Friday, 26 August 2016

I just want to do my best. I overlook the email that the customer sent to my higher management. My friend sees it and is scared so she scolds me. When I explain myself, she feels that I am being self-defensive. Oh no! I make the mistake. I don’t mean it to happen.