Similar yet Different

Meet similar personality
Curious about other people
Problem in self-acceptance

Yet different
Being rude into learning to be gentle
Me too soft to be more assertive

Can be changed only
By the power of God
In Jesus’ strength

Inspiration On: Monday, 11 January 2016

I inform my business mentor that I’m meeting my ex-mentor and another pre-believer. She replies, “Ok. But I will have to leave the stuff with SS as I have to leave for my appointment at 3.30pm. Have a blessed time with your ex-mentor.”

“Oh no! Can I do bank transfer to you then?”

She answers, “No hurry.”

“Do you mind to cover the book?” I request.

She is baffled, “? It’s in a plastic bag. Cover what?”

“Is the plastic bag transparent?” I wonder.

Her interrogation scares me, “Do you have something to hide?”

“I’m shocked to know about the book. I don’t want to give any misunderstanding.” I clarify.

She instigates further, “You asked to buy the book and yet you are shocked? What are you talking about? Do you know what are you talking about?”

“You ever mentioned about the book, “Because the book is meant for church pastors, church planters and ministry leaders.” So I don’t want to give SS the wrong meaning.” I abruptly reply.

“If I know, I should have gone to the psychologist earlier.” I confide.

She wonders, “Then why still buy the book? What gone to psychologist?”

“My friend and I need to understand how to implement the ministry vision, etc. You ever told me to go for the autism self assessment so that I can better manage myself.” I reply.

She sighs, “I gave up talking to you. So fixed in my mentality.”

“Recently, I have been having a hard time focusing.” I explain my current condition.

Again she assumes, “You are not up to pastor’s level to read that book! Not even me! That’s what I tried advising you.”

“I can’t stand all the noise outside my house. I’m helping in a ministry so the book is meant to improve the vision, mission and values of the ministry.” I clarify myself.

She clears my confusion, “Vision is static and not about improvement!”

I correct my words, “How to write it properly and clearly.”

Suddenly, she responds, “I give up.”

“Why give up?” I wonder.

Her answer is, “Cannot connect. So stubborn.”

“Stubborn about what?” I question.

A sudden call from her wanting me to explain myself about the vision for the ministry. I say I help out a friend and also for serving God. She perspective is to solely serve God. Even my ministry is to serve God. She speaks out that she doesn’t know I am assigned to Pastor Jenny Ong and SS is my cell leader. It is divine arrangement. That reminds me of the dream she is leading the way. My heart is so touched and I cry. She questions the reason I cry because she wants to understand. I answer as it is that I feel touched and end it with thank you. She feels that my understanding level is like a fifteen years old in terms of behavior and thinking. So I can’t reach to the pastoral level yet. That is one of my body language signal and my curiosity. It’s good for me to be curious. But my behavior is likened to a small kid.

Then I rush to raffles place and queue at the destined restaurant. RC almost can’t recognize me due to different hairstyle. She blesses me with an artwork piece with the words, “life is a journey, enjoy the ride”. Finally, we have a table and order our food. RR joins us. She intends to stay at home due to wishing to work from home. I share about JWF’s kindness and my difficult experiences working from home. Rather than getting government subsidy, I still prefer to hold onto the job. I muster courage to share about my business idea where mothers can bring children to work.

Then I rush to SS Seah’s shop. On my way, I speak to God “Not my will, let Your will be done.” Business mentor changes her appointment to 4pm so she is there and I am able to pay her. She does her hair. Misa talks with me. I like her because her curiosity with people. I’m also curious about people. We can connect. She testify herself being rude and how God changes her into a better person. From her, I share about my past seeing things. She asks me to draw it out. My business mentor mentions better not or else I can’t sleep. Then I share more about projects and writing experiences before reaching to the philosophy writing on ‘From assume to presume then misunderstanding’. Until Business mentor sees two different persons in me and my writing. When she confronts me to speak it verbally, I can’t. Misa advises me to read it and feel it in whole body. She even points me for being courageous to put it into the website without worrying what will happen. When people tell her at the ear, she begins to remember. And so do I. We are similar in this. Before we go home, SS prays for me.

Business mentor shares about a man who is a potential husband. A preacher who writes a Christian book. She never expects to marry a pastor. I feel so happy for her because God has hears my prayers for her. Next, I feel like helping her to find out.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Feel Stupid for Being Naive

Being naive
To trust your initial words
Destroy my trusting hearts
My heart is dead
Whenever you repeat your mum’s words
Like a parrot

The way you play with my naiveness
I feel dejected whenever I remember
You seek me during courtship
Dazzle my eyes
With garland of flowers

Yet now you are different
All you care is yourself
Instead of investigating the truth
You sell yourself to lies

Living in someone’s influence
Third parties’ views are right
The fool is me for not believing them
My heart is dead
Thanks to you.

Inspiration On: Thursday, 21 May 2015 at 12:15pm

This is the third sequel to Why Do You? and If Not For Jesus poetry. Lori Carlson’s writing prompt challenge my heart and mind to birth this poetry. My heartbreak journey is stated clearly in my first poetry. The final line signify my sarcastic remarks to my blinded husband until my tears almost dry up. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Dumb Word Upsets

Call other dumb upsets me

And pisses me off!

It is not the way to do so!

Who are we to say so?

Different people have different level of understanding

People are created by God in His image.

Who are we to call others dumb?

Everyone has their own




Inspiration On: Friday, 27 February 2015 at 2:27pm

While I was resting, the one who employs me in an adhoc basis text message me. He called someone dumb for not understanding his issues. Hence, the above poetry is birthed out and written down. Why do I say so? Because I am the only one being considered slow amongst my siblings. Of course, I always feel stupid for being weaker in my slow response towards others. That is before I know The Lord Jesus. Yet He reaches out to me and saves me from my wrong perspectives of myself. I know what I want in life is to be an author. My parents dissuades me from doing so. The most foolish things I have ever done was to listen to their decisions upon my life – study in the industry I do not want to study. In order not to waste their money, I force myself to complete the studies to bachelor. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Door Mat?

What am I?
Am I a door mat?
Only to be trampled on?

What am I?
Am I a door mat?
Easily to be taken advantage of?

What am I?
Am I a foolish person?
Awaiting to be bullied?

What am I?
Am I a comical person?
Awaiting to be laughed at?

I am also HUMAN
With different values!
With different perspectives!

Inspiration On: Wednesday, 04 February 2015 at 9am

This is a painful realization to me for being myself. Bullied at school. Care not to hurt others’ feelings, those wolves prey on my kindness. Cheating my hard-earned money! Backstab me behind my back when I care for them.

Smoke Out Of Dinosaur’s Mouth

Puff! Puff!
Smoke puffs out of a dinosaur toy.
Oh, it will need water
Or else
It will be on fire.

RUN to bathroom.
Water, water.
Bucket under the tap water
Open the tap water
Then closes it.

RUN to smoky dinosaur toy.
POUR the pail of water onto
The smoky dinosaur toy.

It will be well now.
Place it onto the floor.
Press its button.
OH! It doesn’t operate anymore.
It doesn’t operate anymore.
It doesn’t operate . . .
It doesn’t . . .
It . . .
. . .

Inspiration On: Sunday, 27 January 2013 at 6:17pm
Inspiration Ends On: Monday, 28 January 2013 at 3:23pm

My mother in law shared about my husband’s eldest brother when he was young. The above poetry is an inspiration from the actions his eldest brother did to his own toy. In addition, I put myself in his point of view in order to understand him as a toddler. Most of the time, different toddlers are unique and distinct. And most are being misunderstood by the adults and label them who are the naughtiest. Now, my brother in law is an electrician and he can repair any household things.