If Not For Jesus!

If not for Jesus, I would take matter into my hands!
If not for Jesus, I would leave you!
If not for my Lord, I would have commit suicide!
If not for my Lord, I would avoid you!
If not for my Saviour, I only give you one chance!
If not for my Saviour, I would lock my door!
If not for my God, I would bark!

Yet you barge into my fence of boundaries!
Yet you take me for granted!
Yet you enjoy hurting me more!
Your ACTIONS and WORDS are inconsistent!
You always beat around the bush!

What do you WANT from me?!
I feel sick of your arrogance!
You cause me to fall into the pit of depression!
Initially
You give me the joy of life
You share your faith in Jesus
You give me the hope of
“Two is better than one”
A close confidant

If not for Jesus, I would not trust you!
If not for my Lord, I would not forgive you!
If not for my Saviour, I would forsake you!
I have enough!

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 21 May 2015 at 12:15pm

This is the sequel to Why Do You? poetry. You have read the previous journey of my poetry. My heart and trust are fully broken. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Why Do You?

Why do you come into my life?
Why do you come to mess my life?

Why are you jealous of me?
Your grades are better then mine.
You have smarter brain than I am.

Why are you so suspicious of me?
Where do I give you misunderstanding?
I just want to bless you surprisingly.

Why do you use my weakness to put me down?
I thought you are my confidant.
There is so much thing I want to share with you.

Now
My lips are tight
I can not trust you

Why I can not trust you?
Because you lie to me!
Because you add wounds to my salt!
Make my life like a hell!

Why do you believe the devil’s lies?
Do you love to misjudge others?
Do you still live in your mother’s cloud of influence and decision?

Why do you take advantage of my naiveness?
Why do you take advantage of my confusion?
Why do you love to put your words into others’ mouth?
I can not believe your words anymore.

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 21 May 2015 at 12pm

A lot of strange events occur in my life. When I mean well, my mother in law and husband misunderstood me. When I begin to trust him again and confide in him, he betray my trust. Maybe I look highly of him. Every year, my mother in law gave warnings of divorce threats to me. Then my husband always let me to make the decisions. When the result of my decision turns out well, no appreciation. Yet when the result of my decision is wrong, he always pick on me and put me down. I have felt worse. Yet he makes me feel much worse. Despite my parents warning, I feel foolish to pity my mother in law. But she falsely accused my mother and I out of her jealousy. Recently, my husband loves to start to the quarrel and blame me. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Taffany

Life has not been easy for Taffany. Her “yes” has landed her into a lowly state she hates. Saying yes to her parents to encourage her to marry first when she wishes to find a job. Saying yes to her boyfriend’s marriage proposal. Wedding banquet reveals the array of her beauty to her family, friends and relatives. A year later, her baby is born into this world. Both couples are filled with joy upon seeing the newborn on Tiffany’s hugs.

Grinning with joy, Mill promises to her to enjoy her life with her baby. Her husband promises to be her fertilizer. Those promises seem too good to be true, but she believes it. Instead of helping her to reach to her potential, Mill and her husband desire to control her through abusive words, cutting her low financial allowance and even gang up with his siblings to abuse her. Using their loved toddler as an excuse to divorce her for their own agenda. Mill’s unscrupulous possessiveness led her son’s blindness and downfall. But The ord is not blind. Their secret agenda is exposed to the light. And to their disappointment, Taffany’s parents protect her without her realizing it when she runs away from home. When the gregarious situation is solved, Taffany’s parents rebuke her for pitying Mill and not listening to their warnings to avoid Mill’s evil schemes. Taffany feels stupid.

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Written On: 14 November 2014 at 10am

Proofread On: 21 December 2014 at 3:20am

This fiction is written based on a true story of a friend with names are changed to protect their identities. Therefore, I use present tense to depict the reality of life and the pain many women go through. Enjoy!