Drunk

Dizzy
Light sensation inside
Head
Heart
Body
Floating feeling

Drown my sorrow
Heart speaks out of pain and fear
Being stuck in between
Being put in a difficult position and situations
Due to my decision to
Listen and follow people’s expectations

Recent cases
Learning to assert myself
Losing temper
Drawing boundaries
Instead of letting others overstep my boundaries
Often fails

Crying due to
Being taken advantage
Being hard-pressed
Due to listen to my parents more
Rather than realising the
Whisper of the Holy Spirit

Almost lose myself
Stuck in between at home
Instead of enjoying at home
Choose to go out
Outside also
Almost lose myself

Awakened from confusion
Choose to discern and refuse to go for
Autism assessment
In order to get job offer
Believing the Lord’s providence
Gain the Lord’s favour through the interview

Receive job offer and do my best
Mistakes after mistakes
Pressured to perform multi-task
Switching from task to task
Overwhelmed
Mind goes blank

Inside feels disappointed with self
For angering my friend
Understanding her fears and cares
Knowing her deepest concern
That breaks my heart
My wrong conclusion cause her problem

If going for earlier autism assessment
I will not frustrate others
Due to my confusion
Others will not frustrate me
Life will be better for everyone
Understanding self improve lifestyle

Upon deciding to go for autism assessment
Why do my parents show angry looks?
The other friend disagrees for my parents’ mindset
Hearing my honesty of suicidal mindset
Period of recovery and need others’ help too
That friend’s feedback echo

Stunned of my close friend
Suddenly hugs me and apologises
Speechless and awkward
The other friend’s husband sends me home with her and son
Floating sense and dizzy
Acting to walk steadily home with own son


Inspiration On: Saturday, 27 August 2016

The other friend whom I celebrate my friend’s birthday informs her husband to send me home. She knows that I can’t go home by myself if I’m drunk. But I don’t know whether I am drunk. I just feel that my body is lighter and easier to speak out of my heart. She shares her method to drown her sorrow – social withdraw and watch dramas and movies. Unexpectedly, I blurt out my heart out and confess my sins of suicidal feelings. Unexpectedly, I turn into into poetry. Only to know later that it is termed as depression. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

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Dizzy

Staggering
Spinning
Blurring
Sights

People
Things
Environment
Move around

Is there an earthquake?
Why are my legs wobbly?
Is my body out of balance?
Why my head feels spinning?


Inspiration On: Saturday, 27 August 2016

The other friend whom I celebrate my friend’s birthday informs her husband to send me home. She knows that I can’t go home by myself if I’m drunk. But I don’t know whether I am drunk. I just feel that my body is lighter and easier to speak out of my heart. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

KiLL

Swords kill
Drugs kill
Words kill
Secrets kill
Truths kill
Fear kills
Earthquake kills
Mountain blast kills
Flood kills
Earthquake kills
Mountain blast kills
Hurricane kills
Strong Wind kills
Lightning kills
Low temperature kills
Freeze kills
High temperature kills
Magma kills

Kill physical bodies
Kill hearts
Kill minds
Kill into the core of beings
Kill feelings
Kill self-image
Kill self-confidence
Kill determination
Kill purpose of living.

Why can’t we take care
Take care the words
The words coming out
Coming out of our
Tongue and mouth?


Inspiration On: Thursday, 4 April 2013 at 7:02pm
Inspiration On: Saturday, 6 April 2013 at 11:14pm