Self-Awareness

Others’ ideas
Others’ viewpoints
Others’ opinions
Others’ perspectives
Others’ perceptions
Others’ thinkings
Others’ expectations

Own idea
Own viewpoint
Own opinion
Own perspectives
Own perceptions
Own thinkings
Own expectations

Simply being aware
Differentiate
Whose thinking
Enable self
To be more
Deliberate
To make
Decision

Inspiration On: Monday, 31 July 2017
Edited On: Saturday, 12 August 2017

Living according to parents’ expectations can be good or bad. Some parents desire their will upon their child to stay at home. However, not every child can stand at home. Undermining the child’s authority brings disaster upon the child’s child mindset towards the mother. Being stuck in between is an excruciating pain. I agree some values but not all. Because some parents want to choose career for their children. I can’t accept such notions. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

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Life’s Demands and Expectations

Everyone has escalating demands
Now! Now!

Laundry shouts at me
Wash! Spin! Dry! Hang!

Computer seeks my attention
Beep! Beep!

Emails are calling out to me
Open ME! Read ME!

Child also seek immediate attention
Play with ME! Accompany ME!

Husband expects more
Manage the household! Manage others!

Parents expect serving them
Give immediate help

In laws expect control over me
Jobs providence come

Freelance work client seeks attention
Put client the first

Self-expectation desire to excel in life
Fall short of all

Life’s workload bogs me down
Losing self

True friends come into my life
Angels lift me up

Confusion is cleared
See with more clarity

Discernment enters
Empathy increases

Agree to disagree
Learn to speak indirectly

Inspiration On: Saturday, 26 April 2014 at 3:35am
Revised On: Monday, 30 January 2017 at 10:30pm

It began with the first third and eleventh stanza. As I return back to revise further, I pour out more of my overwhelming feelings. Thus the title change from “Life’s workload bogs me down” to “Life’s demands and expectations”. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

The More I Sing

The more I sing
The more you can’t sleep

The more I sing
The more you can’t sleep

The more I sing
The more you sing

The more you sing
The more you can’t sleep

The more you teach me how to sing
The more you sing

The more you sing
The more I sing

Sing! Sing. Sing! Sing.


Inspiration On: Saturday, 12 November 2016

Upon returning home from my son’s graduation, I give him shower and pet him to take nap. So I read to him. Then he requests me to sing him to sleep. Although he knows I sing out of tune, he guides me how to sing. Thus the above song is birthed out and sing to him with my own melody. Finally, I ask my husband to sing to him. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Good Actions with Good Intention Withdraws

Intending to learn cooking
According to mum’s guidance
Joyfully checking my mobile phone
A sudden message from own husband
Instil a bad sense into my heart and mind

Needing solace and peaceful environments
Recharging my whole being and mind
Immediately leaving the house
Towards the nearby library
Awaiting mum and son

Pouring to the Lord
Asking the Lord a few times
Should I take on the mini project?
A project my ex-mentor refers to me
Needing the Lord in every small decisions

Make two big rounds into every part of library
All seat are fully occupied and need the toilet
Asking the Lord for a seat with power plug
The me returns after the toilet break
An empty seat and I occupy it

Use the MacBookAir that
The Lord blesses for many minutes
Sudden sense to notice the battery level
Before it prompts and warns me for energy
Immediate sense to stand and roam for a seat

Roaming into another part near the corner Noticing a lady leaves and I found a seat
Placing books onto it and return to the
First seat to move own things over
Charging all devices and phones

Mum and son finds me to
Have dinner together with the maid
Suggesting how to settle and speak out
A strong sense knowing it is pointless to say
Still need to face him and to speak out my point

Strength enters into heart and mind to face him
Observe his tone to insist returning the maid
Speaking out in order to reason with him
Letting him to open our drawer to keep
The maid’s passport

By pretending to leave the room
Informing own mother to call dad back
Return to own room and to see the truth
He locks it in his own drawer immediately
Then he takes shower and sound very happy

When I want to speak with our son
He calls our son loudly from the room
To speak with his mother on the phone
Our son speaks to her that the maid returns
On Monday will be on his own and by himself

Why would our son says so?
O Lord, which one is the truth?
What are You doing, Lord God?
Full of questions yet marvel my Lord
Trusting Him with process of my destination


Inspiration On: Saturday, 16 April 2016

Last night, my mum prepares lunch and dinner for my husband and I. I intend to heat up the food and fully cook it.

Last night, my husband messages me, “Tomorrow after lunch please bring maid to the maid agency train stop (including her passport & permit). Will meet you there to send her back to agent. Thks”

“Sorry. I can’t do it so soon.” I respond immediately.

Today, my mum treats new maid and her grandson lunch and dinner. My elder sister to get zoo tickets for mum, brother, my son, and new maid. Actually, she wants to invite our brother’s girlfriend. However, she can’t make it. So I let the maid goes to the zoo.

Today, I intend to cook dinner for my husband and I. Upon checking my mobile phone, I see his message, “Why cannot? Is after lunch. The reason I ask u to bring her to the train station is because I work morning, so no need to come back & bring her out again.” That message causes me to have cold feet. I feel disappointed. I respond, “My sister has tickets to the zoo. So she and our son go to the zoo.”

“Where is the maid?” he enquires.

Am I unclear? I’m implying the maid goes to the zoo with our son. Quickly I reply, “She goes to the zoo.”

He assumes, “I thought u said ur sister & our son go to zoo? Why become maid go zoo? Who else going zoo? I need to bring her back to agent. What time maid be back? Thks”

“The “she” means the maid. She’ll be back after dinner.” I clarify.

In the end, instead of exercising after lunch, I quickly leaves the house to go to the nearby library. Because I need a peaceful environment to quiet down and recharge rather than a conflicting environment. It feels good to be in the library and doing something and wait for mum to return home with my son. My dad’s words keep echoing, “don’t be scared easily”. So I ask the Lord for strength and courage.

When my son gives the new maid sweets, she answers his grandma says cannot. Sudden acute sense the maid lies. Knowing the Lord makes me realise this.

My son confides in me that his dad blames him for bringing new maid to the zoo. So I want to tell mum. Mum tells me my son confesses to her. He tells the maid to say she doesn’t want to go back to agent and she wants to stay here. However, she replies that she is scared to say so. I disbelieve the maid’s words. Because yesterday she can cause
my husband to wake me up to bring her to work.

The courage to speak out to my husband that the maid cannot return to the agent easily. She needs to wait for the new replacement. It is likened to working for people. When you want to leave, you can not instantly leave. You need to wait for the new replacement. He doesn’t respond. Sensing strange feelings when my husband calls our son loudly to listen to the phone. Our son talks on the phone to his grandmother that he will be independent at home since the maid will return to the agent tomorrow.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Marvellous Time

Amazed of my Lord’s blessings and timing
A marvellous God
Upon my family and situation
My heart is full of gratitude

Few days ago
Own Mother seeks my permission to bring my son
To attend my nephew’s newborn baby shower
Agree to let her bring and let him enjoy with other children

Today is the day to rush the writing for
Green initiative of the executed coding ideas
Boiling and arising in my heart and mind
To be a blessing to the current company


Inspiration On: Saturday, 9 April 2016

The Lord works marvellously beforehand. He goes before me. My mum brings my son and he wants to follow her for my nephew’s newborn baby shower. Today is the day I need to write about green initiative for my executed automation coding idea. Though I have read others’ writing on their ideas, none are applicable to me. Therefore, I write about my own executed excel VBA codes. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Memorable Receipt 收据回忆

三手指纹
拳头纹
在收据上
保留可爱回忆

Three finger prints
A fist print
Leave a deep memorable receipt


Inspiration On: Sunday, 28 February 2016 at 3pm

My husband and my son patronize a dessert shop. We buy two bowls of dessert and a yam cold drink. We enjoy our conversations on the table. Three fingers hit the receipt. Next is my husband’s fist pretend to hit onto the receipt. It is likened a stamping prints onto receipt. If there are stamp ink pads, it is going to look interesting. Those pictures appear visually in my mind. It looks cute. Thus, the poetry births out.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Grateful for Acceptance

Cell member points to the library
On the parents and health section
On parenting, autism and dyslexia
Thus it remind of my past patron to
Parenting sections

Cell leader shows the meaning of true humility
Assuring my heart to feel
Sense of acceptance
Sense of belonging
In the community of God’s family

The cell leader and cell member have
Loud voices
Through their mouths
Can see their kind hearts
Committed to our Lord Jesus Christ


Inspiration On: Sunday, 21 February 2016

My son wants to play snake and ladder with me together. I enjoy the play. On the second round, I play until I am falling asleep half way. Many times he wakes me up and encourages me to nap on bed. During brushing teeth at night, he wants me to let him do by himself. I rebuke him for slouching on the sofa behind my back. Immediately, he points that my husband is slouching. I am surprised for my answer, “Does it mean people eat poo, you also eat poo?” He is speechless. While it is time to talk with his grandma (my mother in law), he presses the loudspeaker again. That irritates my husband and he quickly switches it off.

The meaning of scarecrow makes me question about fierce looking people. My two secondary school teachers and even my art school lecturer in creative writing look fierce. However, they show their gentle eyes to me. I also remember my business mentor’s gentle eyes and expressions to me. The fierce looks of my parents, ex-boss, Japanese actor (whom my mum idolize acting as bad guy) are just a false sight. My dad is right that we can tell from the eyes. How is scarecrow related to fierce people?

In the end, I ask Uncle WY about it, “Uncle WY, what do you understand about scarecrow? Does it symbolize anything good or bad?”

“Hello Yoshiko, a ‘scarecrow’ is just a figure, with man’s clothes or a statue which farmers put in the fields amongst the crops to scare away the birds or crows which come to feed on the crops! Dat is why its called a ‘scarecrow’! But to little children it may mean something ‘evil’ from the stories they have read of the ‘scarecrow’,” he explains simply.

More questions boil within my thoughts, “Oh I see. Does it signify any meaning? Good or bad meaning? What I understand about scarecrow is: Later on, the crows found out it is not a real person so they step on the scarecrow. Its ending is burnt with fire.”

“Hey Yoshiko, in the farmer’s idea, the scarecrow will help the farmer to scare away the crow. But crows are very intelligent n after awhile(maybe a few days) will know its only dummy n may even sit on it in poo on it!! Haaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaa. unc WY,” he replies patiently.

He ends with, “And then the farmer may burn it in fire n the farmer may come up with other ways to keep the crows away?? unc WY.”

“Oops before i zzz Yoshiko. Sometimes the farmer employ men with rifles to shoooot these pesky crows. unc WY,” he ends it.

Strange to suddenly think of an idea in an opposite way, “Could it be human pretending to be scarecrow to attract them. Then when the crows don’t realize it, the human inside the scarecrow kills them. Is this possible too?”

Wish you all have good days and thank you.