Left Out

In a state of chaos
In a state of confusion
In a state of pain
In the family
I am left out of the family
Lacking financial resources
Weak in social and communication skills

Outside events baffle me
A lady becomes my business partner
Another lady shows her bank account about investment

The business partner
Seems fierce yet compassionate
Teaches me
Communication skills
Social skills
Guides me in diets
Brings out and shares her food

The other lady
Speaks well of others
Cares about my retirement funds
Inviting me to learn investment
Expecting zero knowledge from me
She baffles me to
Show her bank account

Life is so strange
What is God doing in my life?
In a state of shock
I am speechless
Should I trust the investment lady?

O Lord
Please tell me
Please guide me
Lead me
You are the One I trust


Inspiration On: Thursday, 17 September 2015 at 10:35am

I let my mother in law to influence my husband. Most of the tasks are thrown onto me. When I handle it correctly, there is no appreciation. When I was too overwhelmed with too many tasks and make mistakes, he finds faults with me and criticizes a lot. Later on, he cuts my supplementary credit card and takes over the groceries purchases. Therefore, I feel that I am running around working on the business idea with lady. I wish you all have good days and thank you.

Ace

A creative entrepreneur
Accidentally found

An Accidental
Creative
Enterprise

In the midst of arts industry
Where the new creatives
Can withhold

Paid
Internship and Professional
Income

To improve employability skills
Passionate to work
Yet able to care the family

Not solitary endeavour
but to
ACE together!


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 10 June 2015 at 11:55am

In the current creative industries, there is an increasing epidemic where the creative job seekers are not paid during internship due to a book written to the artists to provide their service for free. Are not the workers deserve their wages? Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Disrupt

Miscellaneous tasks
Work, family and work
Seeds of ideas are birthing

Endless piling jobs
Repetitive tasks
Birthing ideas are boiling

Thus
All these
Disrupt creative flow

Thus
Exhaustion 
Overwhelmed

Mental and physical fatigue 
Sip into my inner core
Leech my cheerfulness in life


Inspiration On: Tuesday, 16 September 2014 at 11:50pm
Inspiration Ends On: Wednesday, 17 September 2014 at 12:51am

All the projects I received, I do at home.  Noises at home are endless. Tasks at home are piling. The job from the client often gives tight deadlines – either submit by night or next morning. Recently, I feel burnt out and depressed. Upon reference, I do personality test. ISFJ is the result from answering the questions. All the explanation reflects true of myself. No wonder I flourish with given long timeline but overwhelmed with tight deadline and sudden changes. Glad to vent out my frustrations. Wish you all have good days and thank you for all your time to read my poetry.

Heartache

Gripped with emotions
Mind goes blank
Crippled with a strong waves of hurts
Waves of hurting words
Envelops and squeeze my heart
Heart aches
Tears drip uncontrollably
Hiding in a corner
Hurting my integrity


Inspiration On: Tuesday, 24 September 3013 at 10:02am to 10:08am
Based On: Monday, 23 September 2013 between 10pm to 11:30pm

Arguments occurred between my brother and mother then she with me regarding air ticket printing for my cousin. My mothers’ relatives often take her for granted. Whenever there is problem, she is always asked for help. But they didn’t look for her when there is no problem. I have been wondering why do people take my family for granted? My brother is pissed off. Every time the ticket printing is passed to me last minute. It didn’t mean my printer always have ink. My dad intercepted our arguments. Even shoot remarks that we would leave them alone when they reach old age. That hurts me a lot because I have set in my heart to take care of my parents till death do us part. No matter what arguments, my decision to care them is final. My heart and mind hurts a lot for my dad’s words who is stoistic of his own opinion and presumption.

Switching off the light, but switch on the night light preventing my son from seeing my cry and kissed him goodnight. My husband had slept. In the middle of the night, my mother opened my room door and comforted me to just brush dad’s words aside. After back home from work and shower, I felt sleepy. But after the quarrel, I couldn’t sleep until 2am midnight and crying to my Lord and Saviour.

Disharmony from Inside

Sight of someone ticks you off
Continue to dwell in it
Likewise jealousy
Continue to dwell in it
Bullying occurs
In family
In school
In workplace
In society
Among races
Among countries

Abuse others
Bullying others
To make oneself feels good
Abuser feels superior

Don’t abusers think that
They impose pain to the abused
Instil the abusee hatred
Abusee may or may not commit suicide
Before or after strife with
The abuser


Inspiration Ends On: Monday, 23 September 2013 from 10:44am to 10:55am

Family Field

Is family a field of battlefield?
Or
Is family a field of love?

Is family a field of battle?
A battle for power?
A battle for self-fulfilment?
A battle of separation?
A battle of increase burden?

Isn’t family a field of love?
A reason to care?
A reason to self-sacrifice?
A reason of union?
A reason to share burden?


Inspiration On: Tuesday, 30 July 2013 from 9:16am to 9:43am

Whenever I thought of my friend whom I wrote poetry on her behalf, my mind wonders of family values.

Toxic of Jealousy

Unsightly family harmony
Pick a quarrel
Enjoy fighting
With words
Lashing painful words
Seeking to control
Seeking to destroy
The new family

Jealousy control
Giving evil reign
Upon self
Seeking others’ fault
Blind to own’s fault
No wonder people
Stand afar from
An unrepentant heart
A blind mind
A deaf ear
Assuming others like
The unrepentant heart’s
Hypocritical mindset
Misunderstand others’
Kindness and goodwill

Influence her own good friend
To believe her speech
To believe she is victim
Misunderstand others’
Messages
Wrong perception of others
Kindness and goodwill
Confronting me for shouting
At his good friend
Without searching the truth
Without asking my reason


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 17 July 2013 at 12:34am
Inspiration Ends On: Friday, 19 July 2013 at 6:52pm
Compiled On: Friday, 19 July 2013 at 7:44pm

Reading Darky Blue’s poetry at http://darkyblue.wordpress.com/2013/07/15/how-many-is-too-many/ reminded me of my friend’s case whom i just shared her experience.

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Her nurse friend whom she confided to diagnose her with depression for the situation I have shared through my previous poetry for her. Her dad who recently told her that if she didn’t explain the truth she will be miserable and people will continually bully her. Because she felt that it was useless for her to say so since her husband won’t believe her words and he believed his mother’s words more than her. What’s the point for her to say more? Wasting her time. She didn’t want her marriage to be broken. Her nurse friend helped her to pray and queried whether she ever eat a medicine from a doctor. Yes was her reply, but it had stopped. So her friend suggested to her to see again to let the medicine help her to relax. Her friend and I also don’t want to see her to be taken away to the mental hospital.

After many requests for her husband’s contact, she hesitantly wrote down her husband’s number with trembling hands. Her nurse friend who called her husband that she was with his wife, he was happy. Unexpectedly, her husband was shocked with her nurse friend who divulged she had suicidal attempts. Alarmed not to worry her husband, she tried to stop her nurse friend for saying so. But it was too late. He immediately rushed to fetch her. Her nurse friend comforted her that her husband still care for her.

Sending her to the mrt station to meet her husband, she seemed reluctant to follow her husband. But her nurse friend introduced herself and asked him to love her and protect her. He willingly agreed. Holding hands, he gently explains the reason he scolded her for giving the feeling his mother was unwelcomed. All she thinks are to move her brother’s things out of the room, but expressed it wrongly due to thinking visually with wrong words. Her father had discussed the problem with him amicably and resolved to let him be the middle person. If there is unhappiness, his mother and her dad will go to him. This is due to her dad is worried for her not being able to convey the message correctly. Peace is restored. Since he had apologized to mother and dad, he hoped her to apologize to his mother. When she was going to apologize, the phone rang. It was her sister in law confronting her for shouting. Angered by those words and realizing her mother in law’s dishonesty, she went to bathroom to pray for God’s help to forgive her mother in law just as He had forgiven her. Having showered helped to cool down and apologize to her mother in law. Shocked with her reactions to immediately hug her and also apologize for her own fault.

Thursday, 18 July 2013

Being alone in her house, she felt peaceful and can concentrate on her freelance work. Her parents went out. Her mother in law schedules her son’s playground at her brother in law’s house. While her husband and her holding hands together guiding the way, the helper observed her mother in law looked very angry, instead of being happy for her son. Her helper told her in the middle of the night before sleep. She had been wondering why her mother in law was so jealous of her.

Friday, 19 July 2013

Yesterday, she had fixed an appointment with her previous neurology. Today, her neurology told the same thing to her to tell her husband the truth what she had been through with her mother in law. The truth will let her husband to think. Not her to do so all the time. If she continues to keep quiet, she will be miserable. He also reminded her of the wedding woes to share to her husband her troubles. Unhappy with this, she had been wondering and didn’t wish to hurt her mother in law.

Everyone’s Basis of Statement through Analysis from her previous talk. Her mother in law went through divorce at the age of 30 for her husband left her for another woman. Her husband’s siblings rebuked and blamed her for being too brawling. So he couldn’t stand her.

But my friend feels what that has got to do with her. What does she has to make her mother in law jealous?

Averted Tragedy

Ring! Ring!
In silence
Ring! Ring!
In silence
Continuous Ring!
In silence
Talk has ended
Many missed calls
In mobile phone
Beep!
Text message to
Return home immediately
Another text message warning
Sister in law asks her mobile number
Fear engulfs her mind

Rushing home
Awaiting bus
Boarding the bus
Answer the ringing phone
Scolding her for shouting at
His mum
Without asking the reason
Digging out painful memories

During school days
Her primary 4 school teacher
Punished her and shamed her
In front of the class
Without asking the reason
For her retaliation towards
Her bullies
The bullying person only
Report her doings
Covering his doings

His angry tone forcing her to
Apologize to his mum
Retaliate her emotion to reply angrily
But speaking the truth
Of his mother’s
Many shouting and hurtful words
She has been enduring for
Three years of marriage
Abruptly switches off her mobile phone

Arriving bus interchange
Fear engulfs her heart
Mind staggers
First time in life
Not wishing to return home
Thoughts of being scolded
Insert fear into her
Unexpectedly, a nurse friend
Stays nearby
Unexpectedly, her friend’s care
Enable her to pour out
Her nurse friend had encountered similar case
Sharing other’s difficulties as well

Pouring out all her woes
Connection between past and current woes
Tears flow out uncontrollably
Without knowing she is under
Depression
Until her nurse friend highlight
Caringly suggest to visit her past neurologist
Before mental breakdown clouds her

Meanwhile, at home
Quarrel outburst
But ended to
Amicable Discussion
Between father in law
And son in law

Back to her scene
Her nurse friend prays for her
Her nurse friend suggests to
Contact her husband to fetch her
Fear prevents her to give
Repeated caring comforts and requests
Relented her to write down his name and contact
With trembling hands and fingers
Her nurse friend chooses to do so
To prevent her from doing foolish actions

Press the button to call her husband
His tone seems happy but turns to worry
Upon hearing her plight and quickly fetch her
At the meeting station
Her nurse friend introduces herself
Her nurse friend re-affirm to love and protect her
Hesitantly she returns with her husband

Holding hands
Gently apologize
Gently explaining his reasons
Gently care her
As they brisk along the long lane towards home
Thank you for praying for her


Inspiration On: Thursday, 1 August 2013 at 1am
Inspiration Ends On: Saturday, 3 August 2013 at 7:51pm

This event on Wednesday afternoon 17 July, tragedy almost occurred upon my friend’s life and family. By God’s grace, this tragedy is averted. Thank you everyone for your prayers. She will be very grateful for your prayers.

Play Power Game

Playing power game
Toddler refuses to let grandma in
The grandma
SCOLDs him
THROWs angrily
Toy cup to him
But he AvOiDs
She SHOUTs

Bam the table
Talking badly
Grandpa SCOLDs her
For throwing cups to baby
She picks a FIGHT
Oh no!

Grandma SHOUTS
This is my house
He replies
This is my house

Quarrelling
Bickering
Fights
Bam the table
She quarrels
With his other grandma
Grandma from mother

She shouts
With everyone
Emotions get over her
Daughter in law
Unexpectedly, first time
Daughter in law SHOUTs back
Asking her to STOP
Quarrelling


Inspiration On: Tuesday, 16 July 2013 from 11:09am to 11:57am

Oh, the quarrels and commotion. A headache story where my friend confided with me asked me to write poetry based on her family’s situation. So this poetry is dedicated to my friend. This story is based on my friend’s story with a toddler who loves to play power game with everyone in the family to stop from entering house. It is just a power play game. Normally, his parents and grandparents play along. Later on, he let them in. Unexpectedly, the grandma from dad’s side took it to heart and lashed out at the son. Take anything from the floor and threw at him, but thank God the thing is thrown away.

No Time

Alastairs Photo Fiction

Rushing to complete tasks
No time for eating
Work and work
No time for rest
House and family responsibility
No time to relax

Buzzing mind in the midnight
No time to sleep
Busy writing down inspirations
Glued to poetry
Enjoying myself
But
Dozing off for a few hours
But
The clock sings to wake me up
Staggering brain
Jagged body
Sleepy in the morning
Drinking tea
Not enough time for myself
And the cycle continues
No time to relax

No time for myself?
Midnight is the best time
But midnight is sleeping time
No time for musing?
Midnight is the best time
When everyone is asleep

No time?
Fighting against time?
Lack of time?
Buzzing mind?
Midnight?
Persist in my faith in Christ
Sleep or write
Write and sleep
Writing brain during sleep
Loving to write during sleep
Wake up and write
Write and write
Excusing for
No time to eat


Inspiration On: Monday, 1 July 2013 at 1pm

Joining Alastairs photo fiction mentioned by Penny L Howe at http://alastairsphotofiction.wordpress.com/2013/06/30/photo-fiction-sunday-june-30th-2013/. Enjoy. Though, I’m doing freelance work, being a full time housewife is the most dreaded occupation for me. That’s why I can relate to this photo fiction. Total word count is 151 words.