Is It A Hope?

Autism test day is nearing
My good friend airs out her grievances let me
Decide to leave or convert to permanent
My heart is prepared to tender resignation
Would a company accept an autistic?

Wishing to do my best as unto my Lord
Share to my friend about certain issue in job
Realising my friend and I are different
She is fast and strong
The Lord blesses me a different strength

Speak to a colleague
Not to assume
Share my experiences in IT and Arts
Clarify I understand each part little bit
Prefers creative job

Show a contact photo
Pointing a creative department
A surprise
Labeled being a good person
Promises to ask for me

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 28 April 2016

Thank God and thankful for CMF to mean well in her guidance how to speak to customers who refuses to pay. After lunch, we are waiting for the traffic light to turn green. Her unhappy tone, “You can choose to leave or convert to permanent staff” hurts me. The more I choose to leave earlier. Maybe my cell members are right. It’s hard for good friends to work together. Her words linger in my mind. Do I say anything wrong with a colleague yesterday? I talk to her like talking with a friend. Just now, during the lunch I unknowingly talk with a colleague’s supervisor. She means that next time I shouldn’t talk about the communication workshop in the company. She is a manager and doesn’t have time to go for such event. That hurts and make me cry too. I know she means well. Impossible for her to feel unhappy that I talk with other colleague like a friend. My heart is prepared to resign the job especially with the autism test result.

I print an invoice to post. Suddenly, my colleague asks me how to put the logo into the invoice. I don’t know. I walk towards the man and let him see the printed invoice. Then I explain it is generated from the accounting system. I’m stunned with an alien TID word. Next my colleague walks towards his table and I follow him. He opens his computer and login into the accounting system. He points to the SAP menu. Then he explains that TID refers to SAP menu. I clarify that I don’t have accounting background. I enter into the company because CMF refers and I need a stable job. My experience is in IT and arts. However, I know those areas little bit. I still prefer Creative job. Then he opens the contacts page and show the photo of the man in the Creative department. He’ll ask for me and I thank him to do so. Heavenly Father, thank you for today’s conversation with a colleague. He shows the photo of the person in charge of the Creative department. Then he says he’ll ask for me about the job opportunity in the Creative department. If this is from You, please open the door into the Creative department. In Jesus’ name I ask and pray. Amen.

Lord, where are You going to place me?

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Newcomer Becomes Rubbish Bin

Delegate job is understandable
Due to busy schedule
In order to focus on the important tasks
Attend meetings

Inside I disagree
Delegate job task to the newcomer
Due to frustration towards slow computer
Then play games

Boiling flames due to fatigue
Seek the Lord to distinguish my flames
My good friend sees enormous tasks and remind my job scope
Speaks to the supervisor on my behalf

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Inspiration On: Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Suddenly, my supervisor asks me to help my colleague to relieve her from a task. As she guides me along, she is frustrated of her slow computer. Then my supervisor also shows the way and explains it takes half a day to do so. Upon completing it for two hours, I question my colleague’s claim. Because I walk towards my supervisor to ask my pay, my colleague is playing her mobile game. Inside I am boiling. I cry to the Lord on this.

While I am rushing my work, I begin to understand the one whom I replace choose to leave.

In the end, I open my mouth to my friend when she asks about the macro. I don’t have the time to continue the macro automation due to doing too many tasks. Because inside I cry to God that everybody tends to throw their jobs to me. Why am I like the rubbish bin? I am not a rubbish bin. I learn it the hard way. Next time, I need to gently refuse and explain the reason. Inside I cry to the Lord for mentors to guide me in animation and teaching in primary schools.

Therefore, she speaks on my behalf to our supervisor that I am so busy to concentrate on the macro. She sees and understands me of being full loaded. I really appreciate her to explain that I have done the most difficult part. Just left the final simple part of macro.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Honesty in Comedy

Poking fun
Flirty eyes and smile
Comedically peeping into my coat lapel

Meaning to beware
Though outwardly cover my chest
Giving a message

Bending posture can give
The wrong signal
Thus exposing myself

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Inspiration On: Tuesday, 29 December 2015

The business partner God blesses me with has altered the black altered dress Misa gives. She brings it to SS’s hair salon. She ties a mini hook onto the clothes to cover up my chest. I appreciate her effort. I wear it and return to SS’s hair salon. It seems looser than previously. So I ask her whether she edits all the button. She answers no and that shows I slightly lose my weight. Then Misa pokes fun on me that people can still see my chest. Business partner tells her not to scare me. I appreciate Misa’s honesty to explain that people can still see my chest if I bend down. SS, Business partner and Misa feel that I look good in it and appreciate their honesties. They are really God’s blessings.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Loathe Life

Just a few judgmental words
Triggers
The buried excruciating past

As the past haunts deeply
Overcome
The perception towards the speaker

Overcomed with the dread of being
Taken advantage
Auto self-protection switches on

Either flight or fight
Loathing
Own’s foolishness to be too trusting

Another self awaits to
Emerge
Triumphantly build fences of boundaries

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Inspiration On: Wednesday, 31 April 2015 at 9pm

My friends and I are facing issues of others entering our boundaries. Foolishly, we are being taken advantage. But we realize it too late. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Unhealthy Aggressive Competition

Carrot Competition Among Artists
Aggressive Unhealthy Artists’ Competition

Cheapens the 
Laborious artistic works
Into
Penniless

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Inspiration Ends On: Wednesday, 25 March 2015 at 11:34am

My friend confided about her dumbfounded realization of the crazy life of visual artists. Many visual artist internship is without pay. She is feeling worse that anybody to realize such experience. To make it much worse is her realization freelance is likened to a business instead of part time job. Now, she is so upset and frustrated of her stupidity. Please pray for her. Therefore, the above poetry is birthed. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Toxic of Jealousy

Unsightly family harmony
Pick a quarrel
Enjoy fighting
With words
Lashing painful words
Seeking to control
Seeking to destroy
The new family

Jealousy control
Giving evil reign
Upon self
Seeking others’ fault
Blind to own’s fault
No wonder people
Stand afar from
An unrepentant heart
A blind mind
A deaf ear
Assuming others like
The unrepentant heart’s
Hypocritical mindset
Misunderstand others’
Kindness and goodwill

Influence her own good friend
To believe her speech
To believe she is victim
Misunderstand others’
Messages
Wrong perception of others
Kindness and goodwill
Confronting me for shouting
At his good friend
Without searching the truth
Without asking my reason

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Inspiration On: Wednesday, 17 July 2013 at 12:34am
Inspiration Ends On: Friday, 19 July 2013 at 6:52pm
Compiled On: Friday, 19 July 2013 at 7:44pm

Reading Darky Blue’s poetry at http://darkyblue.wordpress.com/2013/07/15/how-many-is-too-many/ reminded me of my friend’s case whom i just shared her experience.

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Her nurse friend whom she confided to diagnose her with depression for the situation I have shared through my previous poetry for her. Her dad who recently told her that if she didn’t explain the truth she will be miserable and people will continually bully her. Because she felt that it was useless for her to say so since her husband won’t believe her words and he believed his mother’s words more than her. What’s the point for her to say more? Wasting her time. She didn’t want her marriage to be broken. Her nurse friend helped her to pray and queried whether she ever eat a medicine from a doctor. Yes was her reply, but it had stopped. So her friend suggested to her to see again to let the medicine help her to relax. Her friend and I also don’t want to see her to be taken away to the mental hospital.

After many requests for her husband’s contact, she hesitantly wrote down her husband’s number with trembling hands. Her nurse friend who called her husband that she was with his wife, he was happy. Unexpectedly, her husband was shocked with her nurse friend who divulged she had suicidal attempts. Alarmed not to worry her husband, she tried to stop her nurse friend for saying so. But it was too late. He immediately rushed to fetch her. Her nurse friend comforted her that her husband still care for her.

Sending her to the mrt station to meet her husband, she seemed reluctant to follow her husband. But her nurse friend introduced herself and asked him to love her and protect her. He willingly agreed. Holding hands, he gently explains the reason he scolded her for giving the feeling his mother was unwelcomed. All she thinks are to move her brother’s things out of the room, but expressed it wrongly due to thinking visually with wrong words. Her father had discussed the problem with him amicably and resolved to let him be the middle person. If there is unhappiness, his mother and her dad will go to him. This is due to her dad is worried for her not being able to convey the message correctly. Peace is restored. Since he had apologized to mother and dad, he hoped her to apologize to his mother. When she was going to apologize, the phone rang. It was her sister in law confronting her for shouting. Angered by those words and realizing her mother in law’s dishonesty, she went to bathroom to pray for God’s help to forgive her mother in law just as He had forgiven her. Having showered helped to cool down and apologize to her mother in law. Shocked with her reactions to immediately hug her and also apologize for her own fault.

Thursday, 18 July 2013

Being alone in her house, she felt peaceful and can concentrate on her freelance work. Her parents went out. Her mother in law schedules her son’s playground at her brother in law’s house. While her husband and her holding hands together guiding the way, the helper observed her mother in law looked very angry, instead of being happy for her son. Her helper told her in the middle of the night before sleep. She had been wondering why her mother in law was so jealous of her.

Friday, 19 July 2013

Yesterday, she had fixed an appointment with her previous neurology. Today, her neurology told the same thing to her to tell her husband the truth what she had been through with her mother in law. The truth will let her husband to think. Not her to do so all the time. If she continues to keep quiet, she will be miserable. He also reminded her of the wedding woes to share to her husband her troubles. Unhappy with this, she had been wondering and didn’t wish to hurt her mother in law.

Everyone’s Basis of Statement through Analysis from her previous talk. Her mother in law went through divorce at the age of 30 for her husband left her for another woman. Her husband’s siblings rebuked and blamed her for being too brawling. So he couldn’t stand her.

But my friend feels what that has got to do with her. What does she has to make her mother in law jealous?

Active vs Passive

Quiet people seems passive Passive in activities Passive in conversations But active listeners Passive in parties Bored to be with Few close friends Outwardly look weak Being physically passive Gives them energy But active in deep thinking and analyzing Think before talk

Outgoing people seems active Active in activities Active in conversations But passive listeners Active in parties Fun to be with A lot of friends Outwardly look strong Being physically active Brings them energy But passive in deep thinking Talk without thinking

Are you active or passive? There is an active part in a passive people There is a passive part in an active people Nobody is perfect Learn and improve from our own weakness Respect each others’ personality differences We are dependent upon each other Complementing each other As couples complement each other’s weakness As family members complement one another Why do we focus on other’s weaknesses? Why can’t we see each other’s strength? Nobody is perfect We are not perfect We are imperfect, but are work in progress

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Inspiration On: Sunday, 2 June 2013 from 12:53am to 1:33am
Inspiration Ends On: Tuesday, 4 June 2013 at 2:35am

Most of the time, there are two categories of people either extrovert or introvert. I realized I belong to the latter upon reading personality book. My friends and even my husband ever said the same thing. They want to vomit blood whenever I asked them to repeat a few times because I often want to understand their words by listening to it.