Leadership Confirmation

Never in my life
To hear God’s confirmation in
Becoming part of future
Church planters, pastors and ministry leaders
Through coincidence for
A sister in Christ to go to the bookstore
To purchase a video


Inspiration On: Thursday, 8 January 2016

Lord, it has been four days my business mentor has been ignoring me. I still see that she doesn’t read my WhatsApp messages. I feel so sad so I decide to call her to apologize. Unexpectedly, she answers my call and is busy. Glad she isn’t angry with me. I’m surprised that she is going to the bookstore to buy DVD titled ‘War Room’. So I ask her to buy the book ‘Developing A Vision for Ministry’ and I’ll pay her back. Upon seeing the book cover and the $28 price, she replies “That’s a rather expensive book.”

“Yes. It is. Because my friend and I need the understanding in it.” is my answer.

I am surprised for her to respond, “Are you aware that this book is for church leaders for ministry work?”

“Yes,” is my reply.

Suddenly, she questions, “You both aspire to become church planters, pastors and ministry leaders?”

“Huh? I’m finding out about it.” I’m baffled by it.

She clarifies, “Just alerting in case you have a misunderstanding of what the book is about. The book is not for me.”

Grateful for her explanation, “Thanks for the alert.”

“I find it strange. Guess you both have a calling to become future pastors.” she wonders.

“What?!” I get a shock in my life.

She questions, “What is it that you don’t understand a simple question as that?”

“I’m just shocked.”

“Why shock?” she interrogates further.

“The way you guess it.” is my reply.

She explains further, “Because the book is meant for church pastors, church planters and ministry leaders.”

“Hmm . . .” I am thinking how to answer.

Another question bombs onto my face, “And you both want to understand the book. Understand what? No worry. I can get for you. I will not want to read that book until I am called to be future pastors or God wants me to plant churches.”

“About the vision for ministry.” I answer. My purpose is to improve the vision for the ministry. Oh no, a confirmation through a sister in Christ?

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

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Live In

Live in the past
The past haunts me
Pressing me down

Spurring me to realistic actions
Live in the present
Prevent it from repeating

Live in the future
Hoping to live for God

Dreaming to the
Destination
Awaiting Jesus’ applause


Inspiration On: Friday, 20 March 2015 at 4:30pm

My mind has been wondering where do I live. The past haunts me yet I hope for the future hope. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

l

Daunt Flaunt Haunt Taunt

Haunted by the past
Daunted by the future
Taunted by those who know-it-all
Can’t stand those who flaunt arrogantly

Is life full of the haunted past pains?
Do future life is daunted with fear?
Why do we are taunted by others?
Who want to be flaunted?

No wonder the world is full of hurts.


Inspiration On: Friday, 29 November 2013 at 9:40pm
Inspiration Ends On: Thursday, 7 August 2014 at 1:38pm

Toni Andrukaitis’ email of concern helps me to work on my writing block. Her recent post What the heck Wednesday helps me to get up again. Flipping to my writing blocks, more inspiration comes through past experiences and my fear feelings of the future. Thank you, Toni, for your concern. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Bleak

I am feeling helpless.
Where do I go?

Everything seems very dark
I can’t see anything
What do I touch?
Where do I go?
Heart missed a beat
No, not just that.
Fear engulfs my heart
I can hear clearly
My heartbeat is beating
Rapidly. And also loud.

Anxiety, depression, fear, sadness
Are the feelings that
I am going through.

Anxious of the future
Past regrets came back
Something I had wished
I would not do.

Depressed of the previous
Mistakes I had done.
What I can do?
No turning back to
Correct all my mistakes.

Presently, everyday seems dull.
Everyday, always repeat the
Same repeated boring tasks.

My goal is getting
Much further away from
My grasp due to
Doing many unnecessary errands.

I feel hopeless and
Everything seems bleak and
I don’t know where
To go for help.


Inspiration On: Sunday, 7 November 2010 at 5:50AM

Deep Buried Feelings

Deep buried feelings were kept somewhere.
Painful memories were left unidentified for ten years.
Not ten years, more than that.
Unknowingly, it was planted since young.
It was sowed seed by seed.

Motivation of study is from external source.
Motivation of study only comes from mother.
No inner motivation to do so.
No sense of purpose in life.
No compass to guide me.
Only my parents are my compass.

We followed mother to her chosen destination to give us good future.
We lived in an uncle’s house due to lack of finance.
With my own eyes, I saw my mother being bullied.
I wish to stand strong, but I’m weak.
I’m standing at the corner.
I feel lost.
Angry with my self!
Why am I so slow?
Why am I a weakling?
Leave me alone.
I just wish to be quiet.

A slight headache.
Someone came to my rescue.
It is like a Light enters my heart.
There is a sense of purpose.
I need to stand strong.
I can’t!
But in the Light I can.

A door is closed.
But He opens a window.
A window opens my mind to marriage.

With just a few words through written message,
My past deep feelings were dug out.
No, I think I found out now.
Now I found out what it is.
Found out the root cause to fear of marriage.
It is the very seed that takes root in my heart since young.
It shaped my thinking.
It also shaped my heart.


Expressed on: Friday, 07 November 2008.