Crying Autistic

Living in denial
Hating my existence
Unable to accept
The truth and fact
Deep inside me

Autism is the
Label given to me
Coming from my family members
Many time I deny it
Only to surrender and learn to
Embrace autism in my life

Knowing the angst of my pain
But I choose to smile to others
Showing the brighter side of my true self
Wishing to cheers the broken-hearted
Yet others tend to
Break my heart
And
Take advantage
Of my kindness
Only to land myself
Vulnerable
Miserable
Feeling the awful pangs of hurt
From all the
Pre-judgements

When my world is closing
You come into my life with your own agenda
Soothing words to uplift me
Then you hurt me four times
Pushing me forward three step backs
Then pull me backward four step backs
Why are you playing with my innocence?!
Why are you entering into my world?
Giving me FALSE hopes
Only to DASH it!
Enough of your mental game!
Stop!
My Lord sees it and warns me of your cunningness
To PREVENT me from further hurt!
This IS the FENCE of my BOUNDARIES!

---

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 21 April 2015 at 12am

These are the summary of my experiences birthed in poetry. I thank my Lord and Saviour for the right words to SHOUT it out. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Drag The Glue

Lizard or gecko?
Gecko or lizard?
Why are you
So STICKY to
The television?
So GLUED to
The mobile game?

Dragging the glue yourself
Holding your mobile
Dragging out of the glue on your
Bed with eyes glued
To your mobile game
Excusing yourself
Stuck in the middle of
Your strategy battle game.

Dragging yourself
Onto the dining table
On the dining table
Lizard turns into gecko
More glued to your
Strategy battle mobile game.

---

Inspiration On: Monday, 23 March 2015 at 7:40pm

It is not easy to convince my husband to have dinner who is always glued to his game. Ever since the computer is spoilt, he stopped playing game. He begin to play games once he changes mobile phone into smart phone. Upon finding out he can play games, he is so glued to his mobile phone. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Baby Game

Gladly, he smilingly passes
A pillow to me
Analogy as a baby
The baby he wants
Slot into his shirt
Meaning he is pregnant
Then slot it out
Meaning baby births out

Question me how to
Pour in milk powder
With his one and
Only water milk bottle
Going to open it
My response is to
Use imagination to pour
Milk powder into his
Only water milk bottle
Next, he opens his
Water milk bottle to
Feed the baby (pillow)

My mind wonders around
Then question him curiously
Does he want me
To have another baby?
His nods with yes
He wishes to have
A sibling, a sister

Night fills the sky
Two penguins soft toy
Slot into his shirt
Meaning he is pregnant
Then slot it out
Meaning baby births out
Taking water milk bottle
Feed them with his
Only water milk bottle
As the penguins repetitively
Taking turns to be
Slotted in, slotted out
Pregnancy and giving birth
In a continuum process
Letting the baby sleep
On his new bed

---

Inspiration On: Wednesday, 5 June 2013 from 11:30am to 9:30pm

Beginning his own new game that I never know. As I recalled, he ever questioned how he existed. My reply was he stayed in my stomach then birthed out as a baby and wailed. A few times, he repeated this. Unexpectedly, today, he plays this game and shocks me. And my guess is correct. What do you all think?

Hide and Seek

Hiding
Hiding behind
Hiding behind the large pole.

My son and I see him
My son and I fast walk
To the large pole
His dad disappears
We are stunt!

Sudden
JUMP!
With an opened palm
With an opened mouth
My son
My son SHRIEKs in LAUGHTER.

---

Inspiration On: Friday, 22 March 2013 at 10:05pm

When my husband and I were bringing our toddler home from the nearby mall, my husband did the above inspiration to play with our son and he was shocked.

Sticky Butt & Glue Eyes

Glue at butt
Sticky butt
On the seat.
Like a gecko
Like a lizard
On the wall.

Sitting glued to the seat
Eyes glued to the monitor
Calling him to bath
The word
“Later, later, in a few minutes”
Minutes passed
Hours passed
Still
Sitting glued to the seat
Eyes glued to the monitor
Calling him to bath

Repeating the same process
Before the arrow points
To the end of the flowchart.

---

Inspiration On: Saturday, 2 March 2013 at 1:02pm

My husband enjoys playing computer games. He can play for quite sometime before we have a child. It took him so long to stand up to bath.

Blanket Game

Wholly covered in the blanket
Together with his dad
Hiding from me.

His dad grabs my wrist
Instigating his son to
TICKLE me!
A swift tickle
Tickling me!

Pointing my finger to his
Neck, waist, thigh.
Tickle him.
TICKLE him!
He laughs hysterically.
TICKLE his dad!
His dad laughs hysterically.

And it is a repeated cycle
Until they removes the blanket.
The end of blanket game.

---

Inspiration On: Sunday, 27 January 2013 at 12:46am
Inspiration Ends On: Monday, 28 January 2013 at 3:06pm

Slip

Slipping paper under the door
Slip into the room then out again
Slip in, slip out paper
None of us will add admit defeat
Slipping paper under the door

Slip in paper into room
Laughter burst out of the room door
Then the paper slips out
It is a continuum process we enjoy
Until baby shrieks admitting defeat

Inspiration On: Saturday, 2 June 2012 around 2pm
Revised On: Sunday, 3 June 2012 at 12:35pm

My twenty-three months toddler was in my mother’s room locking the door. Then I remembered last week that he did the paper slipping into my room through under the door. Upon noticing it, I kicked it out after I had taken my shower. I heard him laughing and continued the slipping and I also continued the kicking. Both of us had fun together.