Harsh

Too harsh cuts
Harsh transitions in shots
Simplify the line
Describe my current life situations
Harsh times!
My facial expression looks calm
Thus cause current animation teacher
Assumes and misunderstands me

Harsh seasons
Demands and leads me
Produce harsh storyboard transitions
Even leads to harsh artworks
In different mediums
Seeking outlet to
Pour out

Inspiration On: Friday, 20 May 2016

During the night animation class, the teacher explains that my storyboard transition is too harsh. Once he draws out, I begin to understand the meaning of his words. This shows that studying in a class can only help me to a certain degree. In fact, one to one has a better effect. The teacher keeps on emphasizing that some ugly drawing tells a better story. I realise he has certain biases. There are beautiful drawings tell beautiful stories. He hasn’t seen all my story. When I assess my current situation, it is a harsh time for me. No wonder my story panels show harsh transitions. Upon listening to his explanation, I begin to take note of the focal point. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

My business partner is also my business mentor. Her tone and expression confuse me. Though I know she cares, her expression confuses me. So I learn to tell her that. But she judgmentally says I’m like her daughter in law to read her body language. I’m hurt to hear that. I don’t mean that. When she says that she has been telling me something in an angry tone, I realize that I can’t stand being antagonised.

I thought there is someone who wants to understand me and encourage me to speak up. But when I speak, I don’t feel accepted. Most likely, I can’t stand people who immediately jump to their conclusion. “Are you able to pay Olivia Loh Ing?” Her harsh tone hurts my heart awfully! It is so unwelcoming! It is not encouraging me to speak. It is so judgmental. It hurts me a lot, Lord. When I am prepared to come out with the little money I have, she seems to antagonize me. She feels that startups are supposedly to hire volunteers to do the animation project. This is distressing. Where should I go first? What should I do? Why do my brain reducing? Is it due to my family members always discourage me to work? Is it also due to my perpetual chronic migraine cause me to slowdown? I can sense from her tone that she feels she has been giving me ideas for the logo design. She feels that the three logo pictures she sends are the best from among all my researched logos. I’ve researched the how to design logo again. I never expect she also browses upon it and sends it to me. When she questions me about it, I feel speechless. I don’t know how to explain it in words. Yet she jumps to conclusion that I don’t do my research. This is so distressing. It hurts. Though I am thankful for her help, it’s so judgmental. I feel so lonely yet can only forgive her just as my Lord Jesus has forgiven me. Throughout my life, I feel so hurt. Is it due to I care too much? Is it due to forcing myself too hard? Why am I the one who often being put down? In the family and when I go out to find work and start to do business. My motto is to stand on my value and encourage others. I disagree in putting others down.