Concurrent Events

Cell leader’s mother in law
Had a fall
Being hospitalised
Visit and pray for her as a cell

Own mother has gum swell
Feverish symptoms
Excuse myself to return home
Seeking prayer request via chat group

In the end
Neglecting own homework
Due tomorrow
Seeking my Lord’s help

Sensing exhaustion in own body
Needing the Lord’s strength
More than anyone
Due to weak physical body

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Suddenly, my cell leader’s Mother in law had a fall and hospitalised. Then today my mum’s gum swell. She feels she going to have fever. If I can split myself then I will not be in a rush. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Third Testimonial Letter

Courage sips in
Approach the supervisor
Ask for a testimonial letter
Being misunderstood to
Find a job in the hospital
That is not the case
My friend comes
On the things to write of me
No other way except to show hospital letter
She shows to our supervisor
Without divulging autism test
Only mentioning hospital letter

Before leaving the office
Our supervisor writes a testimonial letter
An unexpected good testimony
Being hardworking
Always think of great ideas
Simplify work processes
Receive compliment of being
A dedicated and hardworking worker
Complete assigned tasks on time
Grateful for my Lord’s favour
For the natural ability the Lord blesses me
Is that the ex-client sees in me?

Inspiration On: Monday, 16 May 2016

The workforce coach’s words repetitively echoes in my head. She encourages me to do my work well so that I can be transferred to another department. That really encourages me a lot.

There is a sudden feeling and courage to ask testimonial letter from my supervisor. He thinks I’m going to apply a job in a hospital. So he wants my friend to write. She returns to me. No choice. I have to show her my hospital letter to bring testimonial letter as proof. Therefore, she shows to him. Grateful for her not to speak out. I thank the Lord for the hospital doesn’t write autism self-assessment. The hospital letter only shows psychologist test.

By God’s favour through my supervisor who understands. So he writes the testimonial letter and keeps quiet. Grateful for a good testimony being hard working and always thinking great ideas to simplify work process. I feel so grateful. Strange for my classmates words echo in my head, “do you ever apply for scholarship?” Lord, I wish to have scholarship to complete the animation studies that You give hope in me. It is the burden in media for the children’s well being.

After reading the book ‘Discerning & Defeating The Ahab Spirit’, I can relate to the part where the wife let go of her dream by staying in an abusive relationship. It is around two days ago reading it. Suddenly, words come to express my feelings.

Does anybody cares about my dream? Do my parents and husband only pay lip service? When I want to learn it, mum disagreed. He persuaded mum. So she agreed. End of last year, he shared that there is government funding to learn animation. Now, during attending the storyboard animation course, my parents and he disagree. I’m tired of their persuasion to let go for my well-being. I don’t care anymore. I’m tired of their opinions. They only care about their assumptions and their ways instead of understanding my needs. I do my best to do for their needs, yet they cause confusion in my life. Instead of encouraging and understand me, they just care their own ways. I feel pissed off with my brother who shouts at mum not to take my son’s schoolwork. He and dad wants my husband takes responsibility. I can understand mum’s heart. Even I will do the same as her. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Journey of Pregnancy

Slight giddy head
Rest on bed
Fatigue speedily
Vomit feeling
Consult the doctor to
Hear amazing congratulations

Day by day
Stomach grows larger
Unlike soft stomach
Tiny feet kick
Tiny legs swim
Foetus kicks in the morning
Speaking to him with amplifier
Foetus responds with kicks

No appetite towards Milo
Turn to accepting Milo
Milo tastes better on tongue
Increasing obsession in tidying and cleaning
Loving dark colours but
Glued to loving bright colours

Every week I see him
Through the scan
At gynaecologist
Every day I am curious of foetus’ looks
Every day I communicate with foetus
Every day I pray for foetus
Every day I am marvelled of God’s creation

One day, it is foetus’ physical health check day
Another gynaecologist congratulates
The foetus is a he
Return to my gynaecologist
Through the scan
Foetus turns head towards the scanner
Curious at the protruding scanner

Foetus gradually grows heavier
Punches and kicks are stronger
Sleeping on my back is unbearable
Forced to sleep side ways with bolster
Until feeling he is slipping out for weeks
Then blood spotting drips
Rush to hospital

Tuesday, 5 November 2013 at 10:48pm
Inspiration Ends On: Friday, 22 November 2013 at 9:42pm

During my shower, the inspiration echoed to write poetry about my pregnancy journey.

Broken but Regained Hope

Vast sparkly waves of ocean
As the sun shines onto the ocean
Vastness of ocean increases more

Final beautiful sight in mind
Gradually sink into the bottom ocean seabed
Eyelids close, sealing own fate

Blur sight of a swimmer
Before losing consciousness in the ocean depth
Everyone flashes back in memories

Awaking to the soothing music
Among two smiling patients on hospital beds
Hopes re-live in his heart

A man dressed in white
Listens to poured out woes and pats
When other patients go outdoor

Encourages her to be strong
Sowing a strength to own beloved friend
In times of tumultuous life

Seeds of love and care
Gradually buds forth in her broken heart
Living filled with hope again

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 23 July 2013 at 6pm
Inspiration Ends On: Tuesday, 30 July 2013 from 9:16am to 10:17am

This image had been appearing in my friend’s mind to part III so I expressed it in haiku and continues it.