Reality Discovery

Wanting to repeat
School dance and singing
To let me see tomorrow
Not to let my friends watch
Only want to let me see

Inside my heart I feel so privileged
Joy bumps in my heart and mind
Wishing he can do so to Jesus

Time for bed
Mouth continuously opens
Talking incessantly
Repeating his question repetitively
Coming down from his bed

No peace of mind
Steam rises out of my head
Raising my voice to him to sleep

Share the reason he refuses to welcome
A younger boy to his bed
Due to being pushed and knocked his head
Chooses not to fight back
Caring towards younger than him

Instantly compliment his good behaviour
Encourage him to tell me earlier
Comforted of his kindness

As he closes his eyes and mouth
Peaceful reflections run through my mind
Dawns upon me the hurts and pains
In same experiences
In same responses

Better self understanding
Lead to understand my son better

Inspiration On: Friday, 12 February 2016

I’m happy for my son just want to sing and dance for me to see. I wish he can do so for Jesus. Oh, it’s so irritating for my son to be so talkative before sleep until I lose my temper. He repeats that he dislikes a younger toddler named Namur because Namur pushed him until his skull hurts. Suddenly, Mr. Peabody and Sherman animation comes to my mind. I also remind him of Sherman with the girl who bullied him. Then they become good friends. In conclusion, I point to him that he has a good heart not to take revenge. I’m attempting to encourage his kind behaviour. Inside my heart, I feel so thankful to God and feel comforted. Suddenly, the Lord opens my eyes to understand myself. After I was pushed by my husband, a few days later I tell to my parents. I thought they know. They are shocked of me not telling them earlier. Oh no! I don’t wish my son to be bullied. I need to take note of him. Though he can exaggerate, his sensitivity level is high as mine. This is a shocking self discovery, realization and reality.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Sudden Confidence

Resolving to help
By guiding the helped
Learn to do himself

Eyes screen the failed assignment
Only to faint at its sight
Understand the teacher’s confusion

Ring the helped
Clarify the matter
Understand his app business Cashflow

Convince him with my apps portfolio
Assisting an app developer
Then he believes

No choice to guide the helped
Explain the mistakes to correct and tidy it
Let him understand the teacher’s perspectives

My mission is accomplished
Sense of fulfillment seeps in again
Realizing I am being . . . too soft again!

Marveled by the sudden
Confidence and communication skill
Due to having a hard time to assist in app development

Thanks be to my Lord and Saviour
Listening to my prayers
Enabling me to do so

Inspiration On: Thursday, 11 February 2016

I need to look at my classmate’s financial Cashflow assignment. The teacher tells him that he does it wrongly. I don’t understand why. I check my email and open his excel spreadsheet. I am immediately shocked of Zl’s financial Cashflow statement. I don’t understand what is he doing. Though he says he attends the first Cashflow statement class, he does the format wrongly. No wonder the teacher tells him to redo. I feel so speechless by his untidiness and lack of understanding. I call him to clarify and to understand his business idea. He thinks I don’t know about Apps business. Then I tell him that I ever assist an app developer to produce two game apps. I have passed and received my certificate. He sounds shocked. I explain that app programmer and app designer are under app developer. As I explain, I write the required edited part. Marketing can be included. Web developer is also necessary to develop the website. I’m eating my own words again! I say to myself to guide him and let him do the work. In the end, I clear his mess. •_• Hmm, I’m surprised I can speak so confidently and clearly. I thank my Lord and Saviour to enable me and strengthen this weak autistic to learn to communicate. May be I can assist IM? How is he doing now? Seems that I work better with senior citizens.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Always Screwed

Feel encouraged and appreciated
Receiving compliments and directness
Where to improve

Confessing to my Lord
All the hurts and pain
Betrayal feelings

Confessing to mature Christians
Seeking counsel to
Settle the dispute with those

Tend to sow discord
Making wrong to right
Right to wrong

Tired of such mental anguish from hell
Sense God’s goodness through others wish
The best for me through their acts of kindness

Inspiration On: Sunday, 31 January 2016

Looking at the time, I rush my son to eat. I got pissed off and scold him no need to go out with me. It is just a remark to rush him off. My brother shows his displeasure to leave him at home. I react and tell him off not to meddle my discipline. After I cut the meat in his bowl, he rushes into my room. So I run after him. Then he cries and asking me, “why do you always scold me?” That hurts me. I respond, “whenever I say gently, you don’t listen.” I already know that my mum always overwrite my discipline and even scold me in front of my son.

I don’t know how to say. I feel so appreciative of BL’s compliments and suggestions of my curriculum vitae. Her directness to tell me that I focus on the unimportant stuffs and to spread myself too thin. That’s what Perine Seah has been telling me. I enjoy the interaction with Tanvi whom she introduces as her researcher and even voiceover.

Another while I feel so hurt to know my mother in law and husband attempt to sow discord between my parents and I. It is due to their lack of insecurity and jealousy. I intercede for him not to be taken away. I just let God to do the judgement. I feel so tired of the struggle to intercede.

So I confess to Uncle WY, “Uncle WY, how do you handle someone who sows discord? I often comfort myself with their good points. I feel like a fool. Later on, I found out about it. I need more mature Christians who can guide me in this. Thanks.”

“May i call you tomorrow Mon 1st Feb at 12pm to pray with you how to handle those who sow discord? unc WY,” he responds.

Gratefully I respond, “Sure. Thanks a lot.”

Wish you all have good days and thank you.