Leadership Role

Leadership role is to learn to
Manage
Myself
My energy

Leadership calling into
Ministry?
Business owner?
Teacher?

Lord
What should I do?
Where are you leading me to?
Be my guide through others

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Inspiration On: Tuesday, 15 March 2016

I meet MLST to pray for him because he is down with fourth stage cancer. I never expect he shares about the diploma in leadership and people management. He wants me to find three more people so that he can teach others too. Since I have maxed out my government credit for the leadership course, he encourages me to check it online because government can top it up. I wonder where God is leading me to. I think of asking CMF and JH to join me.

In the cell group at my cell leader’s house, I enjoy the repeat bible study on spirit, soul and body. Then I begin to confess in my today’s meeting about the spirit working in my house. The small knocks on Sunday afternoon that almost lead to accuse my innocent son. And also my husband who refuses to change the maid and refuses to check on the matter. They pray against the spirit of disunity. Then I share my dad’s testimony. He sees a higher power and the one who tries to harm others get trapped by their own harm.

Then I share about meeting a trainer. Out of concern, they say that it is common sense not to go to an old man’s house to be introduced to his family members. People can misunderstand me whether he wants me to be his mistress. I say no. I meet him is because someone says he is down with fourth stage of cancer. So I’m thinking to pray for him. I never expect him to talk about training. Their concern is suddenly cleared and negated with my experience with CW. DC (my sister’s friend) misunderstood me walk with a guy to an apartment. Actually he accompanied me to church. I clear the matter by showing my Bible Study certificate of attendance.

Finally, I confess that I’m doing writing ministry to reach out for God. It is the impression through reading the bible. I’m surprised someone seek for a prayer.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Lead The Way

O Lord
Lead me to the business partner
Lead the business partner to me
For the expansion of Your kingdom
Seeking Your kingdom and righteousness
Protect my family

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Inspiration On: Sunday, 24 January 2016

While in the bus to the zoo, I spot there are two doves amongst the gray pigeons on the vast grasses. I feel so delighted and comforted that I am not going to be alone in the business anymore. Lord, I am hoping to find the business partner. Lord, please lead the person to me and lead me to the person.

At night, my husband calls to his hometown and connect our son to talk to his mother. Whenever he presses the telephone loudspeaker, my husband raises his voice to our son. Today, he switches on the music and let our son talk on the phone. Is he playing politics again? Normally, he doesn’t switch on music. Is something amiss?

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Pre-Leadership Prayer

Not my will
Let Your will be done, Lord
Yes
I am willing to step into leadership
Lead me, O Lord
In the steps
For Your kingdom’s sake
Protect my family

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Inspiration On: Saturday, 23 January 2016

After attending storytelling course has ended, suddenly I begin to count on the messages I receive about my husband’s death. The first dream is I didn’t see him only his gift for me. Then my business mentor spoke about David begged God for His mercy for his first son with Bathsheba. Next is the dream of Husband beside his elder brother’s coffin and to say he is following his brother’s footsteps. The sermon message from SNE’s mother’s funeral wake that those who do not want to die will die but those who want to die can’t die. In order to attend encounter, I am assigned under LT’s CG and SS is my cell leader. When she shared about her dreams about her husband’s death, she didn’t realize it earlier. She felt that she regretted not spending enough time with her husband. Recent dream was another three dreams of my husband’s death. Then a man asked me whether I am a single mother. That ached my heart. After I let go of my wedding ring, the man appeared again to say ‘quick’ to give me a graphic design job and a business space. Few days ago, during prayer I saw my husband’s dead face. Yesterday, LT excluded me from marriage encounter and told me to seek the Lord. Lord, yes I am willing to step into leadership.

Dream is five times. Once in my prayer so I opened my eyes. Twice from sermons. Four times through people.

Glad to be punctual for the service. SS is late. Today, I feel better to worship the Lord. Anna comes. Suddenly, I am reminded of my son’s posture when he was in his 6 months. He raised his hands so high begging to be carried. So I raise up my hands high to the Lord wanting to be carried. During sermon, I receive the Lord’s message that truth hurts. I thank Him to lead me to the verse to speak the truth in love and He enables me to do so with His strength. I respond to Him in my heart, “Thank You, Lord Jesus for touching my heart and how You show Your heart through my dad’s example and in my life. Thank You for leading me to the verse, “speak the truth in love” many times. Grant me the courage to step into leadership and business leadership for my family’s salvation sake. Equip me, O Lord.” Since nobody is around, I go to the front seeking the Lord’s forgiveness for disappointing Him. I feel unwilling to step into leadership. However, I am willing to step into leadership for my family’s sake. The intercessor asks my prayer request. I answer is my career to contribute my part to further God’s kingdom. I’m looking for partnership with the same vision, mission and values. I thank God to be blessed with a business space though with lesser pay. I gladly accept it. In the space, I never expect to unable to understand simple English instructions. In the end, I misunderstood it and did it wrongly so I got kicked out. She leads me in prayer for the second time. I speak my respond to the Lord, “not my will, let Your will be done. Yes, I am willing to step into leadership for my family’s sake.” Another person wearing black is also laying hand to me. Another intercessor? SS? Impossible it is her. The intercessor prays for God’s leading in my career life and to lead me to the right people. Then she asks my cell leader’s name so I answer I am under SS. She doesn’t know. Then I remember the hierarchy and tells her that I’m also under LT. Again she doesn’t know. Finally, I remember pastor JO and mention to her. The prayer ends and everyone has left.

When I turn my head behind, I get a shock the other intercessor is not an intercessor. Oh, SS, my cell leader. I feel embarrassed. Then she brings me to fetch my son. She finds me because I haven’t fetched my son from his Saturday school. On the way to the MRT station, I feel so speechless and feel awkward. Upon knowing she is busy with many clients, I feel so happy for her to earn income. She has been holding my son’s hand. Then I am reminded to give her external DVD-Writer. She refuses it many times and just want from God. I answer her many times that it is a token of my appreciation of her as a friend. Until she says that I haven’t got a job yet and next time she can’t accept it. Inside my heart, I am thinking “Does it matter?” I feel like answering her to accept it as God’s blessing. In the MRT, she finds out from my son who laughed at me being stepped by the big green parrot. Then he shared that we are going to the zoo tomorrow. She advises me to spend more time with my husband. Oh no! The fifth confirmation of my husband’s death through people.

At night, my husband enjoys looking at me and compliments me to look cute. Do I look cute, Lord? I don’t feel anything when I look at myself. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Leadership Confirmation

Never in my life
To hear God’s confirmation in
Becoming part of future
Church planters, pastors and ministry leaders
Through coincidence for
A sister in Christ to go to the bookstore
To purchase a video

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 8 January 2016

Lord, it has been four days my business mentor has been ignoring me. I still see that she doesn’t read my WhatsApp messages. I feel so sad so I decide to call her to apologize. Unexpectedly, she answers my call and is busy. Glad she isn’t angry with me. I’m surprised that she is going to the bookstore to buy DVD titled ‘War Room’. So I ask her to buy the book ‘Developing A Vision for Ministry’ and I’ll pay her back. Upon seeing the book cover and the $28 price, she replies “That’s a rather expensive book.”

“Yes. It is. Because my friend and I need the understanding in it.” is my answer.

I am surprised for her to respond, “Are you aware that this book is for church leaders for ministry work?”

“Yes,” is my reply.

Suddenly, she questions, “You both aspire to become church planters, pastors and ministry leaders?”

“Huh? I’m finding out about it.” I’m baffled by it.

She clarifies, “Just alerting in case you have a misunderstanding of what the book is about. The book is not for me.”

Grateful for her explanation, “Thanks for the alert.”

“I find it strange. Guess you both have a calling to become future pastors.” she wonders.

“What?!” I get a shock in my life.

She questions, “What is it that you don’t understand a simple question as that?”

“I’m just shocked.”

“Why shock?” she interrogates further.

“The way you guess it.” is my reply.

She explains further, “Because the book is meant for church pastors, church planters and ministry leaders.”

“Hmm . . .” I am thinking how to answer.

Another question bombs onto my face, “And you both want to understand the book. Understand what? No worry. I can get for you. I will not want to read that book until I am called to be future pastors or God wants me to plant churches.”

“About the vision for ministry.” I answer. My purpose is to improve the vision for the ministry. Oh no, a confirmation through a sister in Christ?

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Caught with Swelling Eye

Performing my duties at work
Sunglass impair my vision
Take it off

Supervisor suddenly enters
Showing concern
Shock with my eyes

I had a fall in the bathroom
Hoping to dispel misunderstanding
Surprised with her kind concern
Have you seen the doctor?
I have seen the doctor

Sudden news today is the last day
Relieved to hear due to I want to
Fulfill my vow before the Lord

We go through my total hours
I point my mistake to reduce half hour
Due to my mistake for being late a few minutes
Putting myself in the employers’ shoes
God is fair so I need to be fair
She excuses me due to my
Work productivity?

I feel unworthy yet
God is gracious
To receive pay more than allowance from husband
He provides this month
When my husband purposely
Choose not to give
Allowance

We knock off
Surprised of my supervisor
Keep in touch
Comforting to hear that
I like her compassionate personality

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Inspiration On: Wednesday, 4 November 2015 at 11pm

My business mentor cares about my focus by sending slides on focus. I honestly tell her my resolution that I want to concentrate in the concept and character designs. She asks me how to find the volunteers. I am thinking also. Then I muster my courage to tell her I need volunteers to cover my ministry work. I share some part of my tasks. She gets a shock. So that I can concentrate on the business side. I need the one who does the graphic design. She questions me the reason I didn’t say it earlier. I can only answer that I don’t know how to say it. After I read the Meridian Herbal Oil, I share about my interaction with the 50 years old uncle. We speaks through WhatsApp.

I begin, “I’ve read the vital meridian essence ingredients, directions and functions. The word ‘qi’ reminds me of my days at the Comic Association. The 50 years old uncle who talks to me mentioned three things that I’m lack of and scared him.

Can’t sense my qi

Can’t hear my breath

Can’t hear my footsteps

Those traits he often highlighted to me. I just don’t understand him.”

She sounds shocked, “what?”

“Are you shocked to hear this? I was and am speechless.”

“You have a health problem. Avoid drug medication at all cost.”

“Oh no”

“Ensure you use 20 drops of VM and 10 drops of Angelica Ardent on your womb and your kidney areas nightly. Good to strengthen your qi and blood circulation. You need to strengthen your lung and large intestine meridians. But the Magnolia oil is not cheap.”

“Well, how much was your medical bill yesterday?”

“Around $53 plus. My son encouraged me to go and bring his dad along. He only responded if I want to go. So he paid for it without looking at me.”

“Let him be. Fix your eyes on Jesus alone.”

“Thanks.”

When I was working alone in the conference room, I took off my sunglasses. Suddenly, my supervisor enters and is shocked at the swell. She is concerned on my well being. I said that I had a fall in the bathroom. She asks whether I have visited the doctor. Gratefully, I reply that I had visited the doctor yesterday.

I share this to my business mentor of being caught by her friend (my supervisor) on my eye swell. I feel so embarrassed. Her reply astonish me, “Nothing embarrassing. More about empathy. Any one could have met with mishap or accident that cause injury. Thank God that nothing serious.” Then I respond, “Yeah. Thank God I didn’t knock onto my head. But today I knocked onto my head when I was working alone.”

Oh! What happen to me? Why does the Lord humbles me? I want to be strong. Though I tend to pity and care others, I don’t like to be pitied. I believe it is important to have a giving spirit.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

See My Future In The Mirror

Who do I see?
I see her gentleness
I see her love and care towards
Those who are doing
Labour work

Who do I see?
I see her encouragement
I see her well treatment and motivations towards
Those who are doing
Labour work

Who do I see?
I see a strong leader who work hard
I see a strong leader who cares the safety of
Those who are doing
Labour work

Who do I see?
I see a strong leader who spreads herself thin
I see a strong leader who is physically weak
Thus often fall sick
Need recuperation

A compassionate strong leader
Who needs to care own physical strength
Expression of admiration and gratitude to my Lord and Saviour
Deepen my walk in the Lord

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 29 October 2015 at 10pm

At night, YY (the finance department leader who employs me as a part-time admin) comes into my mind. Her personality attracts me. Her gentleness and caring towards the employee. Her actions speaks a lot about her being a strong Christian though she has a weak body. She has a lot of unseen documents to clear. It’s like seeing myself in the future. So I confide to my business mentor, “YY has a lot of unseen documents to clear. I never expect that. Come to think of it. This helps me reflect on myself. I have been stretching myself too thin.” Her reply is only word, “FOCUS”. My response is, “Oh yes. Focus. No wonder I make a lot of mess with too many commitments and tasks. May we continually pray for each other.” She responds, “Certainly.” No wonder my mental and physical are affected badly due to being overworked and pressed from many sides. Wish you all have good days and thank you.