Pain Awakes

Awake from pain
Awake through pain
Awake in pain

To see a person’s true colours
To separate the truth from lies
To realize own mistakes

Admit own mistakes
Only to be treated as scapegoat
Others throw their mistakes onto me

Letting others control over my life
Let them go by walking away
Enable me to be in control of own emotions

Speaking up to assert myself
Speaking up to create own boundary
Speaking up to stand up for others

Living in continuum pain
Seeking God’s healing
Live to please my Lord

Inspiration On: Monday, 28 April 2014 at 4:50am
Revised On: Monday, 30 January 2017 at 9:30pm

Everyday’s pain in dealing with people births out this poetry. I learn to realise of my own weaknesses and to stand up for my family and myself. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

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Feel Stupid for Being Naive

Being naive
To trust your initial words
Destroy my trusting hearts
My heart is dead
Whenever you repeat your mum’s words
Like a parrot

The way you play with my naiveness
I feel dejected whenever I remember
You seek me during courtship
To
Dazzle my eyes
With garland of flowers

Yet now you are different
All you care is yourself
Instead of investigating the truth
You sell yourself to lies

Living in someone’s influence
Third parties’ views are right
The fool is me for not believing them
My heart is dead
Thanks to you.


Inspiration On: Thursday, 21 May 2015 at 12:15pm

This is the third sequel to Why Do You? and If Not For Jesus poetry. Lori Carlson’s writing prompt challenge my heart and mind to birth this poetry. My heartbreak journey is stated clearly in my first poetry. The final line signify my sarcastic remarks to my blinded husband until my tears almost dry up. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Why Do You?

Why do you come into my life?
Why do you come to mess my life?

Why are you jealous of me?
Your grades are better then mine.
You have smarter brain than I am.

Why are you so suspicious of me?
Where do I give you misunderstanding?
I just want to bless you surprisingly.

Why do you use my weakness to put me down?
I thought you are my confidant.
There is so much thing I want to share with you.

Now
My lips are tight
I can not trust you

Why I can not trust you?
Because you lie to me!
Because you add wounds to my salt!
Make my life like a hell!

Why do you believe the devil’s lies?
Do you love to misjudge others?
Do you still live in your mother’s cloud of influence and decision?

Why do you take advantage of my naiveness?
Why do you take advantage of my confusion?
Why do you love to put your words into others’ mouth?
I can not believe your words anymore.


Inspiration On: Thursday, 21 May 2015 at 12pm

A lot of strange events occur in my life. When I mean well, my mother in law and husband misunderstood me. When I begin to trust him again and confide in him, he betray my trust. Maybe I look highly of him. Every year, my mother in law gave warnings of divorce threats to me. Then my husband always let me to make the decisions. When the result of my decision turns out well, no appreciation. Yet when the result of my decision is wrong, he always pick on me and put me down. I have felt worse. Yet he makes me feel much worse. Despite my parents warning, I feel foolish to pity my mother in law. But she falsely accused my mother and I out of her jealousy. Recently, my husband loves to start to the quarrel and blame me. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Tears of Hurt

Tears of grief
Tears of hating conflict
Tears of dislike to hurt
The need to confront
Someone who brags
Someone who lies
A jealous filled person
Driven by green eyes heart
My heart hurts for her
Before speaking to her
But without confront her lies
The more she stirs and messes my house

O Lord, You have heard
Heard her lies
You have heard my confidant’s advice
O Lord, You have heard Sennacherib’s blasphemies
You have delivered King Hezekiah from Sennacherib
Please, O Lord, deliver me from this braggart
Please, O Lord, guide my speech
Please, O Lord, rescue me from this mental anguish
Please, rescue me
Save me from this dilemma
Please tell me what I should do, O Lord
Her words are killing everyone
Her words are destroying everyone
I don’t want her to destroy my family

O Lord, I beseech Your guidance
For I trust in Your deliverance


Inspiration On: Tuesday, 16 July 2013 at 4:15am to 4:44am

My friend called and shared to me and asked me to write for her and ask what she should do. Though I was speechless, I put myself in her shoes, birth me this poetry. I feel speechless. This is her story, “The song ‘I Surrender’ by Celine Dion spoke to my heart and my tears of grief overflows to my Lord seeking His deliverance. Though I dislike the liar’s speeches and actions, the desire not to hurt her was laid bare to my Lord. My confidant suggested to me that it was time to confront the guest before the situation got out of hand. Those who disapprove her lies are my neighbour, helper and even a weekday beverage deliverer. But I still believe in God’s wisdom and Hand of guidance. My mind and heart is confused in what I should do.What should she do? Your feedback is most appreciated.” This reminded me of 2 Kings 18:12-37 where King Hezekiah cried to the Lord of host.