Own Productivity

Tick and delete
Completed task
Two more tasks pop up

Happen again and again
Continuum process of my life
Endless vicious cycle

Overwhelmed
Discouraged
Burnt out

self-awareness arouse
Self-doubt arise
Self-esteem lower

Lower self-confidence
Frustration knocks
“Give up” echoes

Question myself
Am I the problem?
Why is my productivity level low?

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 19 September 2017

I have reading books about productivity and taking notes. Buy the books and borrow it too. However, I feel so stuck. Instead of of focusing on my creative work, piles of work enters. It is regarding to the job I need to focus and other people’s help. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Confusion

Listen to many perspectives
Enter into many perspectives
Experience many perspectives

Stuck in many perspectives
Pulled in many directions
Always changing directions
Stretch myself into many directions
Spread myself too thin

Here I stand
At the central of
Many opened circular doors
Overwhelmed with mountainous information

Overwhelmed with many new high mountains
Confusion sets in

Which path?
Which direction?
Which way?

Calling out
Reaching out
To my Lord and Saviour

Save me
Help me
Clear my mind

Fix my perspective
Position my career direction
To the only direction

With the right environment
With the right people
Where respect, unity and teamwork dwells

Let me in tune with
My inner-self
My Self-awareness

Inspiration On: Saturday, 26 August 2017
Edited On: Tuesday, 29 August 2017

As I am deciding the path of my career, I feel so confused with many people’s opinions about the career I am choosing. Thus, hearing their perspectives, feelings and opinions affect me a lot. Thus birthing this poetry as I call to my Lord’s help before making any decision. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Self-Awareness

Others’ ideas
Others’ viewpoints
Others’ opinions
Others’ perspectives
Others’ perceptions
Others’ thinkings
Others’ expectations

Own idea
Own viewpoint
Own opinion
Own perspectives
Own perceptions
Own thinkings
Own expectations

Simply being aware
Differentiate
Whose thinking
Enable self
To be more
Deliberate
To make
Decision

Inspiration On: Monday, 31 July 2017
Edited On: Saturday, 12 August 2017

Living according to parents’ expectations can be good or bad. Some parents desire their will upon their child to stay at home. However, not every child can stand at home. Undermining the child’s authority brings disaster upon the child’s child mindset towards the mother. Being stuck in between is an excruciating pain. I agree some values but not all. Because some parents want to choose career for their children. I can’t accept such notions. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Serena Dejesus says she is strong with autism not because of autism

Can the autistic declare that their limitations can also be their strengths? Let us read and watch Serena Dejesus testimony about her life. 

A great news to the Christians. Draw near to God and God will draw near to us. I have been feeling His presence these days, weeks and even months. 

Why Do Girls Show Signs of Autism Later Than Boys?Written by Dan Gray

Things are confusing especially in social situations. The article Why Do Girls Show Signs of Autism Later Than Boys? helps to have a better self-understanding. The reason the characteristics and diagnosis show up later age in girls. 

Is it due to women are created differently than men? Based on my interactions with other women, a strong women still wish to be protected by their husbands. Confessions of my personal experiences are 😳

1. In the poetry social group, I begin to pick up poetry. 
2. A classmate whom I like enjoys coding, I learn to pick up the skills. 
3. Getting married due to pressure from my parents.
4. Care the weak for my Lord Jesus becomes my motivating factor.  
5. Learn art better from teachers and friends.
6. Sensing certain feelings after interacting with certain people. (I happen to meet a longtime friend. Suddenly, after confiding she angrily purging out foul words. After we part our ways to home, foul words talking in my head. So I quickly reject it in the name of Jesus. Listen to worship songs help me.)
7. Worshipping God through their acts of kindness attract me to the persons. 😳 

Upon knowing my weaknesses, I choose to be careful in whom I spend my time. Because I don’t want to lose myself. I want the Holy Spirit to be with me. 

Pie Pit

Throw me into the pit
Where I can create my pie

Give me the pit of well
How to produce the pie of focus

Pit is where I put in time to focus
Pie is where I put in effort without distraction

Pit of well is a space without distraction
Pie is the final result of many efforts

Enter into the focused pit of well
Work towards the pie of focus

Check the pit before jumping into the well
Prevent unnecessary pie from being produced

Prevent mind block
Reduce the stress level

Pit of
Environment and Space to pour Time and thought

Pie of
Enthusiastic Energy of Efforts

---

Inspiration On: Wednesday, 3 May 2017

“Put in time and effort” are the words I need to take action on. However, there is a sudden inspiration to find its acronym. Thus PIT and PIE birth out. I liken PIT into a well and space. Because I realise that I need the space and environment to focus on the work I need to do. Environment plays a huge role on my focus. Thus I put many efforts at home, the potential and abilities that God blesses me can’t flourish. PIE I’d liken to a pie where many ingredients are mixed together to produce a pie. Thus playing the different alphabets from PIT and PIE can be a tremendous and interesting result. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Crossroad of Choices

At the crossroad of choices
Surrounded by mountains of career paths
Weighing the beginning and destination
Time to make decisions
Make frantic effort to adjust time
Energy tank signaling rapid depletion
Realizing distraction through humans
Asking the Lord for help through human guidance and discipline
Seeking His intervention

---

Inspiration On: Friday, 28 April 2017

The piles of work I have been doing seems daunting. Countless attempt to stand up. Loneliness sets in. I have been pouring out to God for someone whom I can discuss with. The budget I come out with is over-budget. I feel so powerless. Doing work slow me down. I feel so thankful to God to do part-time work as a teacher. The Lord knows that I am learning to manage myself and have issue to manage the students. He knows my fear of being bullied. Today I ask my lead instructor how to sound firm. He feels that I should know when I sound firm. Oh, I feel so speechless. I can feel that my energy depletes rapidly. Is it due to me learning to manage 40 students in an hour? Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Life’s Demands and Expectations

Everyone has escalating demands
Now! Now!

Laundry shouts at me
Wash! Spin! Dry! Hang!

Computer seeks my attention
Beep! Beep!

Emails are calling out to me
Open ME! Read ME!

Child also seek immediate attention
Play with ME! Accompany ME!

Husband expects more
Manage the household! Manage others!

Parents expect serving them
Give immediate help

In laws expect control over me
Jobs providence come

Freelance work client seeks attention
Put client the first

Self-expectation desire to excel in life
Fall short of all

Life’s workload bogs me down
Losing self

True friends come into my life
Angels lift me up

Confusion is cleared
See with more clarity

Discernment enters
Empathy increases

Agree to disagree
Learn to speak indirectly

Inspiration On: Saturday, 26 April 2014 at 3:35am
Revised On: Monday, 30 January 2017 at 10:30pm

It began with the first third and eleventh stanza. As I return back to revise further, I pour out more of my overwhelming feelings. Thus the title change from “Life’s workload bogs me down” to “Life’s demands and expectations”. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

The More I Sing

The more I sing
The more you can’t sleep

The more I sing
The more you can’t sleep

The more I sing
The more you sing

The more you sing
The more you can’t sleep

The more you teach me how to sing
The more you sing

The more you sing
The more I sing

Sing! Sing. Sing! Sing.

---

Inspiration On: Saturday, 12 November 2016

Upon returning home from my son’s graduation, I give him shower and pet him to take nap. So I read to him. Then he requests me to sing him to sleep. Although he knows I sing out of tune, he guides me how to sing. Thus the above song is birthed out and sing to him with my own melody. Finally, I ask my husband to sing to him. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Extreme Opposing Patterns

Judge others harshly
Lack of understanding
Overlook own mistakes
Extremely self-forgiving
Finding fault on others
Searching for scapegoats
Seeking control on others’ lives
Protecting own interest

Extremely forgiving others’ mistakes easily
Full of empathy and understanding
No excuse with own mistakes
Admit own faults
Beware of being the scapegoat
Be sensitive to manipulative spirits
Protect others’ interest
Seek the Lord’s intervention to stop being controlled

Circumstances and situations
May cause
Both extremes switch places
Thus the cycle continues

Maintain self-care purpose
In order to
Care others require
Recognise the higher power
Omnipotent God sees
Seeking my Lord and Saviour
To be the person whom the Lord wants

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Inspiration On: Tuesday, 14 September 2016

It has been months I have been feeling miserable. My cell leader has been highlighting to me repetitively to learn to self care so that I can care others. I begin realise that it is my mistakes to let others enter into my boundaries. I refuse to let my patterns to continue and ask God for wisdom. Wish you all have good days and thank you.