Please Listen to Me

Do you know
What you are doing?
Do you know
Who are the people she sends to?

My eyes open wide
Overlook the email sent by the person
Last night I have been asking
Ex-business mentor who has been in the finance industry

I speak out
I explain my thoughts
Only to be treated
Being self-defensive

Yes
I made the mistake
I’m wrong
Forgive me

Being silent
Seems the best
Nobody wants to listen me
Please listen to me

Are everybody waiting for me
To make mistakes unexpectedly?
Why do I make the mistakes?
Forgive me, Lord

If I go earlier for autism assessment
Then earlier for therapy
I will not land my friend into trouble
If I listen to advise

Hold onto my tears
Rush to the bathroom
Hiding in the cubicle
Tears roll down uncontrollably

Stop then return to my desk
A lady colleague gives
A sour salty sweets
Then a big pack of tissue

Embarrassingly tears hard to control
Sobbing quietly
Picking tissue pieces after pieces
Hold onto to it

A kind gesture from a colleague
Swear to keep quiet
Willingly to lend a pair of listening ears
Thanking profusely yet choose to keep quiet

Reminded of the Bible
Beware of wagging tongues
Spread like wildfire
Being quiet and cry to my Lord


Inspiration On: Friday, 26 August 2016

I just want to do my best. I overlook the email that the customer sent to my higher management. My friend sees it and is scared so she scolds me. When I explain myself, she feels that I am being self-defensive. Oh no! I make the mistake. I don’t mean it to happen.

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Let Go

Cell leader shares
Her struggles to let go her husband
Who was in sickness beyond measure

Struggle with God
Regarding my husband
Stops

Let go
And
Let God

All struggle ends
Time to rise up from denial
Embrace the truth


Inspiration On: Saturday, 13 February 2016

When I am at LT’s house for Lohei, cell leader shares her about her husband who passed away. The doctor mentioned that his sickness was beyond cure, she was still holding onto him. In the end, she learns to let go and let God makes the decision. Next day, he passed away and with the Lord. She feels depressed. I keep quiet and feel speechless. I also let God make the decision. My struggle reaches to the end.

Then it is the turn to visit my house and I need to lead the way. In the MRT, cell leader explains the importance for my son to learn to let go of the umbrella. She doesn’t ask the happenings in my son’s life when he was 3 years and 4 years old. She thinks lightly of it. I feel speechless of humans to really sit down and listen rather than giving advises non-stoply. I appreciate my husband to prepare five pieces of Hong Bao with $8 in each. My cell member Jy reaches my house first due to her children need the toilet. She shares that he smiles during his talk. That’s good. However, I already know his true colours. So I keep quiet. He goes out to have lunch. All children play with Huey happily. Suddenly, Jy personally asks me how I meet my husband. Embarrassingly, I admit it is my home church friends who matchmake. I don’t want to go for the matchmake session. I admit that I go for it to make my mum happy. Then she asks whether he gives money to my parents. Ashamedly, I admit he doesn’t give. I’m the one who gives whenever there is job. The house first payment I come out the money besides of him. After married, he has been paying for it. Everybody is leaving soon. Suddenly, my room door is locked. After I investigate the matter, Huey locks my room door.

Then we rush to my cell leader’s house with taxi. I sit in the same taxi with LT and IL. Irene explains the need for me to immediately strikes the iron while it is hot. It is the importance to speak to my son about locking my room door and let him reflect on his behaviour. It helps for him to write it in a reflection book so that he can keep tracks of it. She has a point. The taxi reaches cell leader’s house. LT pays for the taxi fare when I want to pay my share. I feel uncomfortable about it.

Upon returning home, my parents give me a share of their food. I feel so grateful. I find out that my mum’s opinion is not listened by my husband in caring our son in his slight fever. She means that my son shouldn’t take shower, just wipe body. However, my husband gives him shower. My mum cooks porridge for him. She purposely advises him to eat it for dinner and let my husband hears. My husband goes out and buys noodle from food court. This is too much. Does he cares our son’s well being?! This saddens her. There is a sudden idea to tell my mum to speak the opposite way in order to make my husband to do the way that is according to our son’s well-being. I know that she cares my son’s well-being. I know my husband well that he tends to purposely do the other way in order to get back at her. This is too much. Nobody in the cell knows this. I feel ashamed of his doings. At night, mum advises me not to let my son shower. Then he comes out of the room and says the same thing. I also choose not to let my son to take shower. I prepare his medication. My husband speaks as if he is a know it all. This is so saddening. Suddenly, he says that he is going to dentist to repair his tooth tomorrow.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Door Mat?

What am I?
Am I a door mat?
Only to be trampled on?

What am I?
Am I a door mat?
Easily to be taken advantage of?

What am I?
Am I a foolish person?
Awaiting to be bullied?

What am I?
Am I a comical person?
Awaiting to be laughed at?

I am also HUMAN
With different values!
With different perspectives!
LISTEN to ME or JUST go AWAY!

Inspiration On: Wednesday, 04 February 2015 at 9am

This is a painful realization to me for being myself. Bullied at school. Care not to hurt others’ feelings, those wolves prey on my kindness. Cheating my hard-earned money! Backstab me behind my back when I care for them.

Active vs Passive

Quiet people seems passive
Passive in activities
Passive in conversations
But active listeners
Passive in parties
Bored to be with
Few close friends
Outwardly look weak
Being physically passive
Gives them energy
But active in deep thinking and analyzing
Think before talk

Outgoing people seems active
Active in activities
Active in conversations
But passive listeners
Active in parties
Fun to be with
A lot of friends
Outwardly look strong
Being physically active
Brings them energy
But passive in deep thinking
Talk without thinking

Are you active or passive?
There is an active part in a passive people
There is a passive part in an active people
Nobody is perfect
Learn and improve from our own weakness
Respect each others’ personality differences
We are dependent upon each other
Complementing each other
As couples complement each other’s weakness
As family members complement one another
Why do we focus on other’s weaknesses?
Why can’t we see each other’s strength?
Nobody is perfect
We are not perfect
We are imperfect, but are work in progress


Inspiration On: Sunday, 2 June 2013 from 12:53am to 1:33am
Inspiration Ends On: Tuesday, 4 June 2013 at 2:35am

Most of the time, there are two categories of people either extrovert or introvert. I realized I belong to the latter upon reading personality book. My friends and even my husband ever said the same thing. They want to vomit blood whenever I asked them to repeat a few times because I often want to understand their words by listening to it.

Absent-Minded Mr. Rabbit

Mr. Rabbit
The Mr. Rabbit
Who is
Glued to the newspaper
Ended in
Glued onto the wet asphalt
And
STUCK!

Glued in talking to the rescuers
Ended in
Drowned
Into a
River.

Indeed
Stop!
Look!
Listen!
On the road
Walking on the road
Unless
You want
To be
The object of LaUgH!


Inspiration On: Saturday, 25 May 2013 at 1:50pm to 2:37pm

While re-watching the DVD by Richard Scarry on Silly Stories with my son, the Absent-Minded Mr. Rabbit who is stuck on the new asphalt birthed this poetry. This began with, “Glued to the newspaper. Glued onto the wet cement” then realized that asphalt is the correct word instead of cement.