Reduce time loss
Learning from mistake
Grateful to barely survive
Humbled to seek
Prayers from cell group
Inspiration On: Tuesday, 2 February 2016
Oh no! I wake up at 7:30am. I didn’t hear the alarm rings. Immediately, I wake my five years old son up many times. He requests me again to carry him out of the bed. I slightly raise my voice. He goes down his bed. Rushing him like a mad puppy. Thank God to settle everything in 15 minutes and punctual for the school bus.
Instead of bringing him out for lunch, I choose to pack lunch and dinner home before he returns and during his nap time. That saves me a lot of time so I can do my work and submit it via email. BL puts a deadline that I need to complete my CV by this Thursday. I feel so pressured to edit it but appreciate it. Lord, please help me!
In the end, I choose to inform my cell group members for prayers and to be honest about my situation. My parents are returning tomorrow night. Oh yeah, I need to explain that I am bartering service with a startup.
Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Rush to my son to wake up
Request to be carried
Brain is boiling!
Again request to be carried
Hot steam blows out of my head
Abruptly goes down the bed
Slowly walk around
Drink milk slowly
A fast child but slow to wake up
Due to opposite personalities
Inspiration On: Monday, 1 February 2016
I wake my five years old son up many times. He requests me repetitively to carry him out of the bed. Hot steam pour out of my head and lose my temper to go down his bed. So he goes down his bed. Waking him up nicely and still want me to carry him? He is 26kg and I can’t carry him anymore.
Oh no! The previous two helpers often carry him out of bed. No wonder he expects to be carried. My body can’t carry too heavy. Many times I carry heavy things, my chronic migraine worsens.
Rushing him to drink milk though he is still sleepy, wipe his face and change his clothes. Due to his slowness, I lose my temper and the bus driver scolds me for calling twice to my phone twice.
Then I realize that I need to train the new helper to let him go down his own bed.
Uncle WY forgot to call me due to rushing homework and for night pastoral bible class. Oh, I need his advise how to handle those who sow discord in the family and the church.
Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Recent Memories erupts
Recent memories hurts much
A child’s cry etched deeply
“I’m not the one who kills the fish!”
“I’m not the one who kills the fish!”
“Daddy is the one who reduced the water!”
“I don’t kill the fish!”
Out of fear
Of my husband’s false accusation to occur
I comfort him
I’ve seen the truth
The one who lays hands on his pet fish is
Can sense my son calms down
The Lord hears his cries
Inspiration On: Wednesday, 28 October 2015 at 9:25pm
Strangely, I am reminded of the dream where my husband walks towards the coffin and stands besides it. However, the fear inside me is almost gone. Is God answering my prayer to take my life away after I fulfill my vow instead of Lih Shien? Why would God’s message spoke to me during my friend’s mother’s funeral wake keeps echoing? “Those who wants to die, can’t die. However, those who don’t want to die, will die.”
Old memories are returning
Am I returning to a child?
Why do everyone treats me like a child?
Inspiration On: Wednesday, 28 October 2015 at 9:15pm
Today, I am late by half an hour for the part-time admin job. I thank the Lord and appreciate my supervisor who is so concerned to tell me to leave by 5pm because she doesn’t want me to be locked in the office. Then she gently explain to me to inform her if I have problem reaching office by 8:30am. During performing my duties, I feel so calm and remember my childhood days. Why is my life restarting?
Oh no! Today, I am nervous awaiting for the bus. In fact, I should leave house at 7:30am. My migraine is aching a lot. In the end, I reach around 9am instead of 8:30am. YY is so concerned to tell me to leave by 5pm because she doesn’t want me to be locked in the office. Then she gently explain to me to inform her if I have problem reaching office by 8:30am.
JWF to ask me about the photo cleaning editing to erase the mannequin wearing the clothes. She needs help in this area.
While I am doing the part-time admin job, I feel pressured on my deadline to fulfill my vow unto the Lord. What is He doing in my life? BL gives her feedback about my animation script is full of grammar errors and the story is not enough. She introduces ‘The Lorax” and to read other children’s book. The good feedback from my screenwriters are not according to her standard. However, I keep quiet about being scouted by a hollywood screenwriter for my high concept. Then she reveals that she works in an advertising agency and has worked on scriptwriting. That’s amazing. Then she mentions that Vincent and I make her worried. So she wants to help me. I don’t understand which part of my speech sounds defensive to her. However, I appreciate her kind gesture. I see the Lord doesn’t give up on me. Does my business mentor contacts BL about me? I wonder. I feel like saying thank you to her.
The way CW does make me worried. I ask him not to send the logo picture using GJ’s and LS’a names. I appreciate his concern. He is angry due to his dad creates logo competition in Jakarta. Thus I explain to him that’s not the way to do so. Let God does the judging though WA has prejudices towards him. Maybe yes maybe no.
Strangely, I am reminded of my husband besides the coffin dream without much fear anymore. Is God answering my prayer to take my life away after I fulfill my vow instead of my husband? Why would God’s message spoke to me during a friend’s mother’s funeral wake keeps echoing? “Those who wants to die, can’t die. However, those who don’t want to die, will die.”
During dinner, my mum keeps on telling me to listen to her ways to read the Bible at night. She can only say her own opinions. “Why can’t you immediately wake up?” Inside my heart, I just want God’s Words to fill my heart and mind. Then I am surprised with my reply to her. Then you try to walk in my shoes. Before my migraine, I can wake up immediately. Ever since my migraine begins, it’s hard for me to immediately wake up. She keeps on asking whether the chronic migraine began during chiropractic. I can’t remember. All she does is jump to conclusion that it is chiropractic. She concludes not to find chiropractic. Inside my heart, I am filled with many questions of life. Why does she blames the doctor?
Just a few judgmental words
The buried excruciating past
As the past haunts deeply
The perception towards the speaker
Overcomed with the dread of being
Auto self-protection switches on
Either flight or fight
Own’s foolishness to be too trusting
Another self awaits to
Triumphantly build fences of boundaries
Inspiration On: Wednesday, 31 April 2015 at 9pm
My friends and I are facing issues of others entering our boundaries. Foolishly, we are being taken advantage. But we realize it too late. Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Carrot Competition Among Artists
Aggressive Unhealthy Artists’ Competition
Laborious artistic works
Inspiration Ends On: Wednesday, 25 March 2015 at 11:34am
My friend confided about her dumbfounded realization of the crazy life of visual artists. Many visual artist internship is without pay. She is feeling worse that anybody to realize such experience. To make it much worse is her realization freelance is likened to a business instead of part time job. Now, she is so upset and frustrated of her stupidity. Please pray for her. Therefore, the above poetry is birthed. Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Cage me in
Lock me up
And I write more
I am guilty not to write
There are plethora of themes
To work on
To write on
But . . .
Everyone are demanding my
Inspiration On: Tuesday, 24 March 2015 at 11:28am
Upon realizing my writing time is when I feel calm and relaxed, I realized the importance of being alone. Being a mother with elderly and part time work really strangle my muse. When the house is quiet, hearing birds singing, and people to work together help to ease my mind and to write my muse. Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Dad’s fart towards
Living in the smelly room
Until he pulls
His bolster to
Cover his nose
For a few minutes
The smell is gone
I enter the room
He complains to me
The smelly room
His only dad
And calling me blessed
To be saved from the
Here I am in the room
Pressing cold pack with
The little one presumes so
Only to realize
Pressurize old pack
Sorry, I fart
Poor little fella to
Cover his nose
with bolster again
My husband inquire
The need to
Switch on the
Air purifier again
The couple’s fart
Polluting the room
Inspiration On: Monday, 23 March 2015 at 11:17pm
All these encounter is enough to make my son laughs. Hope this is enough to give you all have a good laugh after your hard days’ labour. Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Lizard or gecko?
Gecko or lizard?
Why are you
So STICKY to
So GLUED to
The mobile game?
Dragging the glue yourself
Holding your mobile
Dragging out of the glue on your
Bed with eyes glued
To your mobile game
Stuck in the middle of
Your strategy battle game.
Onto the dining table
On the dining table
Lizard turns into gecko
More glued to your
Strategy battle mobile game.
Inspiration On: Monday, 23 March 2015 at 7:40pm
It is not easy to convince my husband to have dinner who is always glued to his game. Ever since the computer is spoilt, he stopped playing game. He begin to play games once he changes mobile phone into smart phone. Upon finding out he can play games, he is so glued to his mobile phone. Wish you all have good days and thank you.