Miserable To Care

Care others’ feelings
End up miserable
Making things difficult for me
Awaiting my fall
Forcing their own opinions upon me
Taking me for granted


Inspiration On: Saturday, 14 November 2015

My husband asks me whether I am bringing my son out. I say no. So he brings our son to a bird park. Though I want to go together, he doesn’t want. Anyway, I just treat it to sketch my children’s book. But my plan to sketch it goes awry. The motivation is lost. It’s like he always gets his way. I’m always at the lost end. When I want to bring my maid for medical checkup, she insists to return to her hometown and says her agent said one month can go back. However, I suspect my husband due to him ever said he never offended a maid. When I checked the matter, he scolded our previous helper then she rebuffed him with the truth. I’m tired of such life. Anyway I need to check the matter first. I feel upset and care about my son’s feelings. What should I do, Lord? Why would people misunderstand me? I don’t wish to hurt others and do my best to make them happy. Yet they only care their own opinions and tend to make things difficult for me.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Crying Autistic

Living in denial
Hating my existence
Unable to accept
The truth and fact
Deep inside me

Autism is the
Label given to me
Coming from my family members
Many time I deny it
Only to surrender and learn to
Embrace autism in my life

Knowing the angst of my pain
But I choose to smile to others
Showing the brighter side of my true self
Wishing to cheers the broken-hearted
Yet others tend to
Break my heart
And
Take advantage
Of my kindness
Only to land myself
Vulnerable
Miserable
Feeling the awful pangs of hurt
From all the
Pre-judgements

When my world is closing
You come into my life with your own agenda
Soothing words to uplift me
Then you hurt me four times
Pushing me forward three step backs
Then pull me backward four step backs
Why are you playing with my innocence?!
Why are you entering into my world?
Giving me FALSE hopes
Only to DASH it!
Enough of your mental game!
Stop!
My Lord sees it and warns me of your cunningness
To PREVENT me from further hurt!
This IS the FENCE of my BOUNDARIES!


Inspiration On: Tuesday, 21 April 2015 at 12am

These are the summary of my experiences birthed in poetry. I thank my Lord and Saviour for the right words to SHOUT it out. Wish you all have good days and thank you.