Feel Stupid for Being Naive

Being naive
To trust your initial words
Destroy my trusting hearts
My heart is dead
Whenever you repeat your mum’s words
Like a parrot

The way you play with my naiveness
I feel dejected whenever I remember
You seek me during courtship
To
Dazzle my eyes
With garland of flowers

Yet now you are different
All you care is yourself
Instead of investigating the truth
You sell yourself to lies

Living in someone’s influence
Third parties’ views are right
The fool is me for not believing them
My heart is dead
Thanks to you.

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 21 May 2015 at 12:15pm

This is the third sequel to Why Do You? and If Not For Jesus poetry. Lori Carlson’s writing prompt challenge my heart and mind to birth this poetry. My heartbreak journey is stated clearly in my first poetry. The final line signify my sarcastic remarks to my blinded husband until my tears almost dry up. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

If Not For Jesus!

If not for Jesus, I would take matter into my hands!
If not for Jesus, I would leave you!
If not for my Lord, I would have commit suicide!
If not for my Lord, I would avoid you!
If not for my Saviour, I only give you one chance!
If not for my Saviour, I would lock my door!
If not for my God, I would bark!

Yet you barge into my fence of boundaries!
Yet you take me for granted!
Yet you enjoy hurting me more!
Your ACTIONS and WORDS are inconsistent!
You always beat around the bush!

What do you WANT from me?!
I feel sick of your arrogance!
You cause me to fall into the pit of depression!
Initially
You give me the joy of life
You share your faith in Jesus
You give me the hope of
“Two is better than one”
A close confidant

If not for Jesus, I would not trust you!
If not for my Lord, I would not forgive you!
If not for my Saviour, I would forsake you!
I have enough!

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 21 May 2015 at 12:15pm

This is the sequel to Why Do You? poetry. You have read the previous journey of my poetry. My heart and trust are fully broken. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Why Do You?

Why do you come into my life?
Why do you come to mess my life?

Why are you jealous of me?
Your grades are better then mine.
You have smarter brain than I am.

Why are you so suspicious of me?
Where do I give you misunderstanding?
I just want to bless you surprisingly.

Why do you use my weakness to put me down?
I thought you are my confidant.
There is so much thing I want to share with you.

Now
My lips are tight
I can not trust you

Why I can not trust you?
Because you lie to me!
Because you add wounds to my salt!
Make my life like a hell!

Why do you believe the devil’s lies?
Do you love to misjudge others?
Do you still live in your mother’s cloud of influence and decision?

Why do you take advantage of my naiveness?
Why do you take advantage of my confusion?
Why do you love to put your words into others’ mouth?
I can not believe your words anymore.

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 21 May 2015 at 12pm

A lot of strange events occur in my life. When I mean well, my mother in law and husband misunderstood me. When I begin to trust him again and confide in him, he betray my trust. Maybe I look highly of him. Every year, my mother in law gave warnings of divorce threats to me. Then my husband always let me to make the decisions. When the result of my decision turns out well, no appreciation. Yet when the result of my decision is wrong, he always pick on me and put me down. I have felt worse. Yet he makes me feel much worse. Despite my parents warning, I feel foolish to pity my mother in law. But she falsely accused my mother and I out of her jealousy. Recently, my husband loves to start to the quarrel and blame me. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Whisper Out Of The Dream World

Whisper . . . Whisper . . .
Whisper . . . Whisper . . .
Oh, where are the whispers from?
Locating it until
My dream world fades away
I am transported to reality
With dry lips
With thirsty tongue
With growling stomach.

As I walk wobbly to the door,
Then the whisper gradually ascends to noise.
As I opened the door,
Obviously, someone is talking to panda.
Oh, my mother in law is talking with him.

Sleepily, I say “good morning”.
Drowsily, I gulp a cup of milk.
Looking at the clock.
Oh, it is 7am plus.
Wondering won’t he be late for work.
Then I return to my dream world.

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Inspiration On: Wednesday, 23 January 2013 at 11pm
Inspiration On: Thursday, 24 January 2013 at 1:01am

Yesterday, my mother in law came from faraway place and stay with my husband and me to see her beloved grandson. Unexpectedly, I was awakened around 7 O’clock in the morning due to talking voices. Later on, when my helper told me at night that she heard my mother in law was talking non-stop. Normally, he will leave home at 7am, but he left at 7am plus after I entered my room.