Environment and People Issue

Complaints and murmurings
Tend to cause the environment hostile
Without realizing it pulls me down
Cause me to lose focus at home

Harmonious
Relationship and environment
Boost my morale and motivation
Produce good effect in performance

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Inspiration On: Wednesday, 2 March 2016

At home, I feel so frustrated and upset. So I choose to work at the library no I can breathe better and concentrate. I think through the reason I feel vexed at home. Suddenly, it dawns upon me of my mum complaining her frustration to communicate with the maid. I can’t stand to be at home. Never expect the environment is pulling me down. Lord, I need You to push me up. Then I realize I can flourish better in the working environment.

My mum explains that I need to use bicycle and need to learn to manage my time. It’s my fault so I keep quiet due to buy for chicken thighs for the new maid.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Loneliness Sets In

The catalyst motivator travels away
Loneliness sets in

Due to years of working alone
Too much at home
Facing against the computer and wall

Loneliness sets in
Missing my business mentor
Meeting to do our work together
Appreciate her kind help

Deep inside my heart
Loneliness sets in
Missing another friend edit my script
Brainstorming and connecting the story together

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 19 November 2015

I feel so lonely. I wish my friend / boss is around. I feel more motivated with her around. During tidying, I realize she uses her L shaped table in an opposite way. She has a neat handwriting. That means she is a clean and neat person. The office is a little messy due to her being busy. My mission is to ease her burden. I also miss my business mentor and the friend who lends her help to edit my script.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Initiative Motivation

Desire to help
Motivated to improve
Stepping up to make an initiative
Through
Suggestions and doings
More than the required work
Improve the business presentation

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Inspiration On: Friday, 13 November 2015 at 11:47pm

Thank God and appreciate my new boss’ patience and guidance. She lets me understand the whole picture and reveal to me she is in the planning department. I begin to understand and see the big picture. When I see her, I see myself working non-stop and not care of my body rest.

My business mentor signs me up for the women’s entrepreneurship for the U.S. Embassy talk in four days time. I feel so shocked because that is my children’s book deadline and to meet BL. After I think through, I will ask her to give me the news. I need to complete the children’s book especially the animation script. Thank God for the courage to tell her.

I feel so happy for my new lady boss to appreciate my creativity. I begin to have the courage to share my suggestion to improve the package posting to give the customers a good impression. Strange for my business mentor to come into the picture dictating the entrepreneurs to exercise and eat healthily.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Zero Motivation

I am enjoying the short film and the talk by Talya Lavie, an Israelite filmmaker who is born in 1978, comes from an animation background and decides to do more films. She raises her funds through two Israel filmmaking foundations. Her first film ‘Zero Motivation’ wins Best Director, Best Screenplay, Best Narrative Feature, and Nora Ephron Prize award in Tribeca Film Festival 2014. I learn from her that she believes in her own stories and persists in her own filmmaking journey by producing short animation and films. In her animation production, she doesn’t interact with people. However, there are many communications with people in her filmmaking journey.

I am shocked that a brother in Christ (in Kenya whom I pray for) wants to start a church due to few churches and need my ministry guidance. I feel so small and unworthy. Then I ask my business mentor’s church ministry reach out to which country. Her church only concentrate in East Timor. I never want my ministry name to be in Kenya. It is just a small ministry, Lord. Who else to approach?

I am strongly motivated to produce the media and to grow in Him until a poetry birth in me titled Deep Motivation uploaded to Daylight Tune ministry blog to love my Lord and Saviour.

Nai’s echoing words sound afar ‘Your artwork is commercial! Don’t get philosophical!” I can’t be bothered anymore. I want God.

Deep Buried Feelings

Deep buried feelings were kept somewhere.
Painful memories were left unidentified for ten years.
Not ten years, more than that.
Unknowingly, it was planted since young.
It was sowed seed by seed.

Motivation of study is from external source.
Motivation of study only comes from mother.
No inner motivation to do so.
No sense of purpose in life.
No compass to guide me.
Only my parents are my compass.

We followed mother to her chosen destination to give us good future.
We lived in an uncle’s house due to lack of finance.
With my own eyes, I saw my mother being bullied.
I wish to stand strong, but I’m weak.
I’m standing at the corner.
I feel lost.
Angry with my self!
Why am I so slow?
Why am I a weakling?
Leave me alone.
I just wish to be quiet.

A slight headache.
Someone came to my rescue.
It is like a Light enters my heart.
There is a sense of purpose.
I need to stand strong.
I can’t!
But in the Light I can.

A door is closed.
But He opens a window.
A window opens my mind to marriage.

With just a few words through written message,
My past deep feelings were dug out.
No, I think I found out now.
Now I found out what it is.
Found out the root cause to fear of marriage.
It is the very seed that takes root in my heart since young.
It shaped my thinking.
It also shaped my heart.

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Expressed on: Friday, 07 November 2008.