Buried Longing

Nothing
Nothing
Nothing can replace her
Someoneā€¦
Someone
Whom I long to see
Whom I long to meet
But never have the chance.

Papers of memory are
All I have.
Memories of her
Captured in photo.
She is my sister
My eldest sister
Whom I long to see
Whom I long to meet
Whom I long
Deep within my heart.

Living with such memory
Living with such longing
Hoping that the Lord
Will let me see her
One day.

People and relatives
Label me
Identify me
As the sister
Of the three years-old girl
Who died in a car accident.
But my sister is irreplaceable.
She is irreplaceable.
Irreplaceable
In my family’s hearts.


Inspiration On: Sunday, 24 February 2013 from 1:17pm to 11:20pm

The movie ‘The Lovely Bones’ triggered my buried longing and moved me to tears. Watching the movie made me think that though my dad didn’t show his grievances, he still thinks of my eldest sister. My dad’s employee bragged that he could drive. So he drove my dad’s car into the house backyard recklessly. My eldest sister was playing at the backyard with my mum. Tragedy occurred as the car crashed onto the cupboard then it pressed hard onto her. Everything happened very fast. My mother was grieved. During her mourning for months then she conceived me and comforted.

No wonder I can’t write eldest sister in my narration during my school days.

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In A Day

In a day
I hear a good news
And
I hear a bad news.

In a day
A new life is born
And
A new life is gone.

In a day
There is a rejoice
And
There is a mourning.


Inspiration On: Sunday, 25 November 2012 at 1:52am

In mourning for my dearest friend who lost her 2 months old foetus. On Friday morning, I was rejoiced with my ex-colleague’s newborn baby, but at night, I was saddened with my dearest friend’s foetus’ death. I was paralysed psychologically. I feel dejected for a lost life and my close friend who disclosed to me her process upon realising she was pregnant for two months old but there is no growth in her foetus. Furthermore, the gynaecologist found no pulse from the foetus during scanning and her pregnancy hormone level decreased exceedingly.

Somehow, I am supposed to congratulate my ex-colleague for her giving birth, but my heart was affected badly with my friend’s news. Unexpectedly, the above poetry came upon me. All I wish is for my friend to take care of herself during her depressing moments. All I can do is to comfort her by lending a listening ear to her.