Awakened to see
Awakened to see and understand
Different perspectives, shoes and feelings
Sword of betrayal feelings hurts me deeply
Angst of ordeal pain
Due to being care too much
Letting everyone to cross over my boundaries
Always pointing my mistakes
Without knowing my worst feelings
Only care with their own opinions and feelings
Let God be the Judge
Learn to assert my boundaries with wisdom
Seeking God’s protection upon my boundaries
Inspiration On: Saturday, 30 January 2016
In the church service, they preach on the theme “Beyond Conflict” on how to resolve conflict in a biblical way and the examples of good points and the mistakes made between people. My heart is so hurting. At the altar call, I seek prayer to alleviate my mental stress, better manage myself and to find a job so that I can protect those whom I love. The intercessor comforts me of God’s presence in my hard times. I feel better then I fetch my son from the GKids. I feel so happy that he listens to instructions well during the community blessings. I thank the Lord for his heart.
I am shocked to realize the points I am disappointed with my husband. Dishonesty, lack of gratitude and commitment, manipulative, using my parents and ready to kick them away once our son reaches 3 years old, taking it for granted, think of himself and his own presumptions made me lose hope in my husband. Recently, he insists to let the helper to have her own way to return to her hometown instead of negotiating with her and choose to believe her excuse to return to her hometown. In the end, I have to bear the consequences of his decision. He still dares to say I don’t think for him. I have enough of his excuses. He thinks that handle maid is easy. Throughout the interaction with him, I have enough to deal with such personality who can make right to wrong and wrong to right. When my dad rebuked him gently, he regards it as bully him instead of accepting as a man’s responsibility. I heard it from our son talking to my mother in law on the phone. I have enough of this. Inside my heart, I feel so stupid to believe him. I have felt worst in my heart to let God down, let my parents down, my mistakes and failures, to cover his mistakes and to bear the consequences of his decisions. I feel so foolish to only see his good points to comfort myself. I also feel so foolish to care my mother in law’s feelings who later on backstab me from behind and using my husband. My husband fully listens to her every orders. Now, he is playing politics and attempting to take our son’s heart. Lord, I have enough of this. Now, I totally surrender my mother in law and my husband to you. I’m tired of the politics. No wonder it cause me mental stress and being torn in between. Lord, I just want to have peace of mind. Thank You, Lord, for Your divine meeting with Your committed followers. I feel so thankful for their support.
John Maxwell Leadership course definitely helps me a lot. I thank God for him and appreciate his business.
Wish you all have good days and thank you.