Toxic of Jealousy

Unsightly family harmony
Pick a quarrel
Enjoy fighting
With words
Lashing painful words
Seeking to control
Seeking to destroy
The new family

Jealousy control
Giving evil reign
Upon self
Seeking others’ fault
Blind to own’s fault
No wonder people
Stand afar from
An unrepentant heart
A blind mind
A deaf ear
Assuming others like
The unrepentant heart’s
Hypocritical mindset
Misunderstand others’
Kindness and goodwill

Influence her own good friend
To believe her speech
To believe she is victim
Misunderstand others’
Messages
Wrong perception of others
Kindness and goodwill
Confronting me for shouting
At his good friend
Without searching the truth
Without asking my reason


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 17 July 2013 at 12:34am
Inspiration Ends On: Friday, 19 July 2013 at 6:52pm
Compiled On: Friday, 19 July 2013 at 7:44pm

Reading Darky Blue’s poetry at http://darkyblue.wordpress.com/2013/07/15/how-many-is-too-many/ reminded me of my friend’s case whom i just shared her experience.

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Her nurse friend whom she confided to diagnose her with depression for the situation I have shared through my previous poetry for her. Her dad who recently told her that if she didn’t explain the truth she will be miserable and people will continually bully her. Because she felt that it was useless for her to say so since her husband won’t believe her words and he believed his mother’s words more than her. What’s the point for her to say more? Wasting her time. She didn’t want her marriage to be broken. Her nurse friend helped her to pray and queried whether she ever eat a medicine from a doctor. Yes was her reply, but it had stopped. So her friend suggested to her to see again to let the medicine help her to relax. Her friend and I also don’t want to see her to be taken away to the mental hospital.

After many requests for her husband’s contact, she hesitantly wrote down her husband’s number with trembling hands. Her nurse friend who called her husband that she was with his wife, he was happy. Unexpectedly, her husband was shocked with her nurse friend who divulged she had suicidal attempts. Alarmed not to worry her husband, she tried to stop her nurse friend for saying so. But it was too late. He immediately rushed to fetch her. Her nurse friend comforted her that her husband still care for her.

Sending her to the mrt station to meet her husband, she seemed reluctant to follow her husband. But her nurse friend introduced herself and asked him to love her and protect her. He willingly agreed. Holding hands, he gently explains the reason he scolded her for giving the feeling his mother was unwelcomed. All she thinks are to move her brother’s things out of the room, but expressed it wrongly due to thinking visually with wrong words. Her father had discussed the problem with him amicably and resolved to let him be the middle person. If there is unhappiness, his mother and her dad will go to him. This is due to her dad is worried for her not being able to convey the message correctly. Peace is restored. Since he had apologized to mother and dad, he hoped her to apologize to his mother. When she was going to apologize, the phone rang. It was her sister in law confronting her for shouting. Angered by those words and realizing her mother in law’s dishonesty, she went to bathroom to pray for God’s help to forgive her mother in law just as He had forgiven her. Having showered helped to cool down and apologize to her mother in law. Shocked with her reactions to immediately hug her and also apologize for her own fault.

Thursday, 18 July 2013

Being alone in her house, she felt peaceful and can concentrate on her freelance work. Her parents went out. Her mother in law schedules her son’s playground at her brother in law’s house. While her husband and her holding hands together guiding the way, the helper observed her mother in law looked very angry, instead of being happy for her son. Her helper told her in the middle of the night before sleep. She had been wondering why her mother in law was so jealous of her.

Friday, 19 July 2013

Yesterday, she had fixed an appointment with her previous neurology. Today, her neurology told the same thing to her to tell her husband the truth what she had been through with her mother in law. The truth will let her husband to think. Not her to do so all the time. If she continues to keep quiet, she will be miserable. He also reminded her of the wedding woes to share to her husband her troubles. Unhappy with this, she had been wondering and didn’t wish to hurt her mother in law.

Everyone’s Basis of Statement through Analysis from her previous talk. Her mother in law went through divorce at the age of 30 for her husband left her for another woman. Her husband’s siblings rebuked and blamed her for being too brawling. So he couldn’t stand her.

But my friend feels what that has got to do with her. What does she has to make her mother in law jealous?

Lost Heart

Rejection
Loneliness
Fear
Failure
Inflict pain
Into the
Abyss
Of our
Inner
Hearts
Souls
Core beings

Heart is
Lost in the maze
The maze of life

Though time heals the pain
Scar is etched forever
Forever reminding
Forever
Remind


Inspiration On: Monday, 10 June 2013 at 3:32am
Inspiration Ends On: Wednesday, 12 June 2013 at 8:14pm

The words “Rejection Loneliness Fear Failure” invited the feeling of pain. Then my mind wondered in astonishment to analyze such words and feelings.

Poetry & Illustration

Dazing
Daydreaming
Imagination runs wild
Observing every surroundings
Ache
Agony
Anger
Arrogance
Longing
Jealousy
Hatred
Fighting
Hurt
Pain
Love
Joy
Passion
Zeal
Sacrifice
Prayer
Hope
Dreams

Emit out via

Nib of pen on a piece of paper
Line by line
Writing a poetry
Pictures from mind

Paper in the typewriter
Alphabets stick onto papers
Line by line
Writing a poetry

Computer keyboard
Jotting in poetry
Alphabet by alphabet
Word by word
Line by line.

Nib of pen on a piece of paper
Lines
Curves
Ovals
Triangles
Squares
Rectangles
Illustrating pictures

Drawing tablet
Lines
Curves
Ovals
Triangles
Squares
Rectangles
Illustrating pictures.


Inspiration On: Thursday, 7 March 2013 at 12:14am

I don’t know what is going on in my mind. I’m a visual person and often being tongue-tied when I’m panic. And now I’m writing poetry. I don’t know what God has in store for me. Weird. Every words begin to fall and drop into my mind. But I still thank God for this experience.

Swaying Butt

Refusing to brush his teeth;
Feet sticking to the wall;
Arms onto grandma’s bed.
Helper shouts for his dad’s help.
His dad enters grandma’s room
With a dark face
Nearing him . . .

Brooh! Brooh! Brooh!
Saliva onto his dad’s face
IMPOLITE!
Hand is going to slap!
But . . .
Swaying butt to the left
Swaying butt to the right
Repetitively
Avoid his slapping hand.
Swaying butt to the left
Swaying butt to the right
Continuously
Avoid his slapping hand again.

Stop his butt and . . .
SLAP!
Mouth turns downward
Sad . . .
Holding his tears.
He is sorry.
His dad returns to his room;
Downward mouth turns upward
Grinning!

Inspiration On: Saturday, 2 February 2013 at 12:02am

After I reached home from attending self-publishing workshop, my mother and helper reported to me of my toddler’s second mischief. So the above inspiration was birthed forth. During the swaying of butt, my helper laughed until her stomach pain.

Toddler’s Impulse

Shining!

Glittering! Hmm . . .
What is that?
Seems interesting.

Ups!
I can’t move
I want to go there
Waaaaaaah!
Hurray, she let go of me!

Oh no!
She stops me
I want to touch that thingWaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaah!
She wouldn’t let go.
Useless crying.

Aha! Nobody is watching.
Now, I need to be fast.
Moving a hand to my behind
Swift and sudden grab of spectacle
Bang it onto the floor!
It sounds light.
* SLAP! *

SNATCH!
Grabbing heavy toys
Bam it onto the floor!
Aha, a hard sound.
Fun!

SNATCH!
Grabbing a ceramic cup
Bang it onto the floor!
WHAT? It shatters!
* SLAP! *

Oh, my buttock!
Oh, my thigh!
Oh, my palms!

* GRIN *
Shaun the Sheep
Let me try . . .
To jump from mommy’s bed.
Here I jump!
* BONK! BUMP! *
Wuh! Wuh! Wuhooohooohooo!
My ear and head are so painful.


Inspiration On: Saturday, 24 November 2012 at 2:07am
Inspiration Ends On: Sunday, 25 November 2012 at 4:16pm

Please Refer to Trusting Toddler Completely.

Before I fell asleep, scenes of my baby’s thinking and mindset had been playing in my head for the first four paragraphs. I remember the scenes while he was a baby. Taking everyone’s spectacle and bang it. At night, the fifth paragraph returned to my memory. Next morning, the sixth paragraph suddenly knocks at my head. Finally, the seventh and eight paragraph came as I think back of trusting him completely to sit on my bed.

I am trying to put myself in my toddler’s shoes and understand his mindset.

Boiling Mountain

The mountain is full of boiling larva
It is full of accumulated hurtful words
A pain that is beyond description
The time of explosion hasn’t came
But it is still under control

Suddenly, the final end has come
Being wrongfully accused explodes the mountain
The mountain blasts out
Returning the hurtful words to the speaker

But it is not the end
The deep larva hasn’t came out
It is still there boiling deep inside the core of the mountain.

The mountain choose to stay calm
Not wanting to hurt the speaker
Though she is still in pain

She is waiting for the speaker to dig the core larva
But, he doesn’t seem to care
Doesn’t seem to understand
Doesn’t even to ask why
She is still hoping
Hoping he will do so

Blaming without cause
Wrongfully accused

Those cause the fire mountain to burst out
Then rain downpours the exploded larva
Though it can’t fully calm the larva, which is deep inside the core of the mountain.


Inspiration On: Saturday, 04 June 2011