Loathe Life

Just a few judgmental words
Triggers
The buried excruciating past

As the past haunts deeply
Overcome
The perception towards the speaker

Overcomed with the dread of being
Taken advantage
Auto self-protection switches on

Either flight or fight
Loathing
Own’s foolishness to be too trusting

Another self awaits to
Emerge
Triumphantly build fences of boundaries


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 31 April 2015 at 9pm

My friends and I are facing issues of others entering our boundaries. Foolishly, we are being taken advantage. But we realize it too late. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

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Live In

Live in the past
The past haunts me
Pressing me down

Spurring me to realistic actions
Live in the present
Prevent it from repeating

Live in the future
Hoping to live for God

Dreaming to the
Destination
Awaiting Jesus’ applause


Inspiration On: Friday, 20 March 2015 at 4:30pm

My mind has been wondering where do I live. The past haunts me yet I hope for the future hope. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

l

Daunt Flaunt Haunt Taunt

Haunted by the past
Daunted by the future
Taunted by those who know-it-all
Can’t stand those who flaunt arrogantly

Is life full of the haunted past pains?
Do future life is daunted with fear?
Why do we are taunted by others?
Who want to be flaunted?

No wonder the world is full of hurts.


Inspiration On: Friday, 29 November 2013 at 9:40pm
Inspiration Ends On: Thursday, 7 August 2014 at 1:38pm

Toni Andrukaitis’ email of concern helps me to work on my writing block. Her recent post What the heck Wednesday helps me to get up again. Flipping to my writing blocks, more inspiration comes through past experiences and my fear feelings of the future. Thank you, Toni, for your concern. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Constant Nagging

A constant nagging
Deep inside
To finish a task

A constant nagging
Deep inside
Convicting own sin

A constant nagging
Deep inside
To avoid sin again

A constant nagging
Deep inside
To stay away from certain places.

A constant nagging
Deep inside
To do what is right.

A constant nagging
Deep inside
To stop living in the past

A constant nagging
Deep inside
To move forward with courage.


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 15 May 2013 at 8:21pm
Inspiration Ends On: Saturday, 18 May 2013 at 1:35am

I wonder with the sudden words speaking to my mind, “A constant nagging”. Finally, the words flowed out.

Road User

Cycling on the road
Accident may occurs anytime

Cycling on pedestrian footpath
Furious pedestrians reluctantly to give way

Why is the cyclist face with the dilemma to cycle on the road or on pedestrian foothpath?
Why is it unfair for the cyclists?
Cyclists are also taxpayers
Though not as prosperous as car drivers.

Why the government build road?
Why the government build pedestrian footpath?
Why the governments refuse to build more cyclist path?

In the past, the road was full of cyclists.
But now, the road belongs to the car and motorbike drivers.

Does the country want to have
Treasure of contentment?
Treasure of happiness?
Treasure of satisfaction?
Or
Treasure of dollars?
Treasure of world war three?
Treasure of stresses?
Treasure of depression?
Treasure of anger?
Treasure of suicides?
Treasure of reckless drivers?


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 22 February 2012 at 6:40pm
Revised On: Thursday, 23 February 2012 at 1:23am

As I was pondering about the current society and compare it with the agricultural era, a lot of things are replaced tremendously. People depends more on machines and put less emphasize on manual labour. Farmers and livestock rearing are considered living in a backward society. I don’t think so. Without them, how will we have food to eat? Why do we look down on them? They are living an honest living. Though physically they are healthier than us, they seem to care for one another. In an urban society, we use a lot of mental energy to design and develop machines to aid us and leave the work of developing the machines to the one who has more physical strength. In the end, we are lack of physical fitness. But another type of machines is developed to make us exercise. Isn’t it a funny situation? We start to cut down eating carbohydrates, oil, sugar, salt, and many other things. Some doesn’t dare to eat too much until some becomes anorexic. Don’t our bodies need exercise?

Bleak

I am feeling helpless.
Where do I go?

Everything seems very dark
I can’t see anything
What do I touch?
Where do I go?
Heart missed a beat
No, not just that.
Fear engulfs my heart
I can hear clearly
My heartbeat is beating
Rapidly. And also loud.

Anxiety, depression, fear, sadness
Are the feelings that
I am going through.

Anxious of the future
Past regrets came back
Something I had wished
I would not do.

Depressed of the previous
Mistakes I had done.
What I can do?
No turning back to
Correct all my mistakes.

Presently, everyday seems dull.
Everyday, always repeat the
Same repeated boring tasks.

My goal is getting
Much further away from
My grasp due to
Doing many unnecessary errands.

I feel hopeless and
Everything seems bleak and
I don’t know where
To go for help.


Inspiration On: Sunday, 7 November 2010 at 5:50AM

Deep Buried Feelings

Deep buried feelings were kept somewhere.
Painful memories were left unidentified for ten years.
Not ten years, more than that.
Unknowingly, it was planted since young.
It was sowed seed by seed.

Motivation of study is from external source.
Motivation of study only comes from mother.
No inner motivation to do so.
No sense of purpose in life.
No compass to guide me.
Only my parents are my compass.

We followed mother to her chosen destination to give us good future.
We lived in an uncle’s house due to lack of finance.
With my own eyes, I saw my mother being bullied.
I wish to stand strong, but I’m weak.
I’m standing at the corner.
I feel lost.
Angry with my self!
Why am I so slow?
Why am I a weakling?
Leave me alone.
I just wish to be quiet.

A slight headache.
Someone came to my rescue.
It is like a Light enters my heart.
There is a sense of purpose.
I need to stand strong.
I can’t!
But in the Light I can.

A door is closed.
But He opens a window.
A window opens my mind to marriage.

With just a few words through written message,
My past deep feelings were dug out.
No, I think I found out now.
Now I found out what it is.
Found out the root cause to fear of marriage.
It is the very seed that takes root in my heart since young.
It shaped my thinking.
It also shaped my heart.


Expressed on: Friday, 07 November 2008.