Confusion

Listen to many perspectives
Enter into many perspectives
Experience many perspectives

Stuck in many perspectives
Pulled in many directions
Always changing directions
Stretch myself into many directions
Spread myself too thin

Here I stand
At the central of
Many opened circular doors
Overwhelmed with mountainous information

Overwhelmed with many new high mountains
Confusion sets in

Which path?
Which direction?
Which way?

Calling out
Reaching out
To my Lord and Saviour

Save me
Help me
Clear my mind

Fix my perspective
Position my career direction
To the only direction

With the right environment
With the right people
Where respect, unity and teamwork dwells

Let me in tune with
My inner-self
My Self-awareness

Inspiration On: Saturday, 26 August 2017
Edited On: Tuesday, 29 August 2017

As I am deciding the path of my career, I feel so confused with many people’s opinions about the career I am choosing. Thus, hearing their perspectives, feelings and opinions affect me a lot. Thus birthing this poetry as I call to my Lord’s help before making any decision. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

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Self-Awareness

Others’ ideas
Others’ viewpoints
Others’ opinions
Others’ perspectives
Others’ perceptions
Others’ thinkings
Others’ expectations

Own idea
Own viewpoint
Own opinion
Own perspectives
Own perceptions
Own thinkings
Own expectations

Simply being aware
Differentiate
Whose thinking
Enable self
To be more
Deliberate
To make
Decision

Inspiration On: Monday, 31 July 2017
Edited On: Saturday, 12 August 2017

Living according to parents’ expectations can be good or bad. Some parents desire their will upon their child to stay at home. However, not every child can stand at home. Undermining the child’s authority brings disaster upon the child’s child mindset towards the mother. Being stuck in between is an excruciating pain. I agree some values but not all. Because some parents want to choose career for their children. I can’t accept such notions. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Opposite Perspectives

Assigned to assist in another department
Entering into the same high security space
Three levels of tight security

Imbues in me
A sense of security and privacy
Towards the consumers

Another colleague
Speak out her view based on media
Many levels of hell

Conclude people often perceive others
Through their own lenses and experiences
Rather than finding out the truth and matter


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Thank God for the opportunity to help at my current employers’ warehouse to do stock count for two hours to represent my friend who hasn’t reached office. Grateful joy of working together with a new colleague and other two colleagues. It’s good for mobile phone is not allowed to use inside for the card users’ privacy. A male colleague nicely warn not to touch things not to our area. Or else if things are lost and captured by camera, it will give people the wrong impression. A lady colleague leads us into the safety room. As we walk into the room, we need to sign in. It is a large square space filled with boxes of cards and machines. I see people walking around and speaking to one another. There are three level of security doors. The other colleague feels that the level of security is likened to levels of hell. However, I don’t see it that way. I feel that it gives the secure feeling. In the third level warehouse, I count the cards with machine is to perform my job. However, a lady colleague says I want to play the card count machine. What type of message do I give to people? Or is it she sees people that way? Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Stuck

Opposing perspectives
Press against me
Blank my mind
Silence falls
Treating my silence as yes

Many perspectives
Encircle around me
Hang my system
Deep thinking create silence
Being misunderstood as yes

Pressed from five sides
Live for Christ, Household, workplace, church, friendship
Being stuck in the middle
Answer yes or no put me in the wrong
Everything seems to my disadvantages

Seeking the Lord for discernment
Learning to understand
Consult the Lord
Awaiting His intervention


Inspiration On: Tuesday, 14 June 2016

In the family, my parents often argue with each other. I often listen to my parents. Only receive slaps thrice at my butt. His bad temper scares me. Now I begin to understand myself and others. When both parties disagree based on their opinions, I feel stuck in the middle. Upon receiving Christ, I also feel stuck. I thank the Lordfor the people and the books He leads me to and even the things I do unknowingly. Now I learn to discern and the good and bad points from opposing perspectives and to learn to balance it. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Unbelievable Answered Limbo

Expecting communication skills guidance
Only to go through colour tests
Choosing the words that describe myself best
Listening to the instructions
Choosing the words in the cards describe me
Exchanging the cards not representing self with others
Return to respective seats

Coach instructs everyone
Count the most dominant colour cards
Thus I categorise and count
Arranging cards accordion to colour
Speechless with the colour card quantity
Four blue cards
Four green cards
Four yellow cards
Two red cards

Then he calls out those with most green cards
I lift up my hand
Explain green are yes people
Next he calls out the most blue cards
I lift up my hand
Explain blue are logical and negative people
The third call is the most yellow cards
I lift up my hand
Explain yellow are imaginative cheerful people
Fourth is red cards
My hand is on the table
He questions my red cards
Only two cards

Privately share my perspective of a map
Look like a flying bird to the coach
Due to I hear everybody answers America
Do I see wrongly?
Assures me
Nothing wrong with me
Due to belong to yellow card
Sudden revelation I tend to see things
In the bigger picture
An unbelievable answered limbo
The reason I don’t feel a sense of belonging

Inside my mind
Questions and wondering
What is God doing in my life?
Is God revealing about myself?
In the system training
My cell member’s questions are answered
Prepared to give her answer and informs her
Then I rush to the bathroom


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 27 April 2016

The communication workshop enables me to understand myself better. I just need to make sure the words in the cards describe me clearly. Huh? Suddenly, I’m surprised that my most cards are red, green and blue. Basically, I have four cards for each green, blue and yellow. And two red cards. I’m surprised to hear from the Lumina coach that I am well-balanced. That’s not what I want to hear. Then he forces us to choose one card out of all cards. I choose the yellow card, “my imagination leads me to no sense of reality”. However, the ideas have been executed and workable to solve the problem because I am a quiet person. So the coach separates us according to our colour choice. CMF is standing at the green whereas I stand at the yellow. However, the coach explains that I’m everywhere and well-balanced. I feel so sad to be separated from my friend. I share to the coach privately that I see American map as the bird. Hoping to understand myself. He reveals that I think of the bigger picture. I feel speechless because I can’t believe myself about myself.

In the system training and e-appraisal workshop, the person in charge explains how to use the system and welcome questions. My cell member’s question is answered. The transaction can be seen from system website seeing yesterday’s transactions.

Thank God for the courage to speak out and ask another colleague about IT and media department. She asks my experiences so I share from IT and arts background. I study in information system. However, due to my curiousity I manage to repair computer. When I ask about media department, my colleague reveals it is under marketing advertisement department. Suddenly, CMF rebukes me not to say such things unless I have a close friend in that department. That sends me an unhappy signal. Afterwards, I send message to her whether she is unhappy with me. She clarifies that she is concerned of me. In the lift, she carries my bag to see its weight. She mentions it is heavy and asks the things I bring. It is sketchbook, pencils, purse, cards, iPad and other miscellaneous stuffs.

The peace at the cell group meeting with SS, Lita, J and PL. I inform my cell member on the cut off date and viewing transaction. Glad for the peaceful clarification of declaring God’s Words to PM. Her questions are answered during continuing the Bible Study titled Spirit Soul and Body. After Josephine shares her husband and her unhappiness with her mother in law, I begin to share about Internet service provider issue and maid issue with my husband. My cell leader immediately assumes and pronounces her judgment to let my son takes shower by himself. I can sense it is pointless to explain. I feel so overpowered. In the end, I choose to shut my mouth. Because they don’t fully listen. So I just ask for prayer for the maid’s issue.

As we walk towards the carpark, my cell leader holds my left hand. My cell leader apologises that they don’t understand me well enough because we just get along since last October. Apology is accepted. It’s not the time to speak it out first. Appreciate for the cell leader’s leader gives us a lift to the nearby train station.

On my way home, suddenly I receive an email from CMF asking, “Where are you?” That causes my imagination runs wild. Do I make a mistake again? Or is she trying to clarify herself?

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Cause of Migraine

A sudden surprise
A sister in Christ blesses me with
Haircut and hair wash

Another sister in Christ and her
Sense and point out
My body tightness means tense

Another perspective answers
Cause of my migraine
Anxiety disorder

A new discovery about myself
Sensitive nervous system
Towards new surroundings


Inspiration On: Friday, 11 December 2015

I almost want to make my way to SS’s hair salon. Suddenly, I am reminded to inform her before I go. Thank God she is going to her shop. Then I make my way there. It feels good to do my work at a different environment though there is a hairdryer sound. Inside I need help to get my structure back. Suddenly, SS gives me a new haircut and wash my hair. Msa is washing her a customer’s hair. It is my second time to go for hair wash. My whole body feel so tight. Msa and SS sense and point out I look tense. Am I so tense? Is that the cause of my chronic perpetual migraine? I wonder. Before I am married, I am not so tensed.

Upon returning home, my parents and brother like my new hairstyle. It suits me more. However, I feel that my face looks more roundish.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Disgusting Smile

Disgust Smile
A flirting moaning laugh
Getting close
Speaking good words
In order to get
What he wants

My body short hair
Stands
Can’t accept such personality


Inspiration On: Monday, 23 November 2015

Suddenly my husband speaks flirtingly. Then he continues that he checks from the internet that it is important to assure not to be always right. Next he asks the office location of my part-time job and my job scope. I feel so disgusted with his flirty smile though I laugh. Because I see people laugh.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.