No Sense of Danger

Jumping around
Climbing around
Explore small lane
Wandering many places
Adventure into the unknown
Without sense of danger

Waterfall
Running rivers
Natural habitat
Animals
Sooth me

Mostly
Swimming pool appeals me

Wandering
In
Curiosity
And
Amazement

---

Inspiration On: Saturday, 30 May 2015 at 1:37pm

The

Experts say wandering isn’t rare dumbfounded me. I begin to understand myself better. I agree that water is very soothing especially quiet and dark places. My preference is to be in the library due to its quiet and peaceful feelings. I hate pub due to the sense it gives me. The news really shocks me due to my lack sense of danger because my curiosity drives me. Strange that people feels I am like a small kid. This is absurd. I am so upset my family members do not tell me much. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Lost Self

Awakened
Hidden self
Lost voice
Lost self
Only
To
Return and Haunt
Shattering the shackles
With Christ’s grace and strength

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Inspiration On: Friday, 29 May 2015 at 7:07pm

Self understanding is the most confusing part of my life. Recently, the lost self returns, pray to The Lord and is preparing to do self defense. It is lost due to run over by abusive and spoilt people. I blame myself to care too much. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Feel Stupid for Being Naive

Being naive
To trust your initial words
Destroy my trusting hearts
My heart is dead
Whenever you repeat your mum’s words
Like a parrot

The way you play with my naiveness
I feel dejected whenever I remember
You seek me during courtship
To
Dazzle my eyes
With garland of flowers

Yet now you are different
All you care is yourself
Instead of investigating the truth
You sell yourself to lies

Living in someone’s influence
Third parties’ views are right
The fool is me for not believing them
My heart is dead
Thanks to you.

---

Inspiration On: Thursday, 21 May 2015 at 12:15pm

This is the third sequel to Why Do You? and If Not For Jesus poetry. Lori Carlson’s writing prompt challenge my heart and mind to birth this poetry. My heartbreak journey is stated clearly in my first poetry. The final line signify my sarcastic remarks to my blinded husband until my tears almost dry up. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

If Not For Jesus!

If not for Jesus, I would take matter into my hands!
If not for Jesus, I would leave you!
If not for my Lord, I would have commit suicide!
If not for my Lord, I would avoid you!
If not for my Saviour, I only give you one chance!
If not for my Saviour, I would lock my door!
If not for my God, I would bark!

Yet you barge into my fence of boundaries!
Yet you take me for granted!
Yet you enjoy hurting me more!
Your ACTIONS and WORDS are inconsistent!
You always beat around the bush!

What do you WANT from me?!
I feel sick of your arrogance!
You cause me to fall into the pit of depression!
Initially
You give me the joy of life
You share your faith in Jesus
You give me the hope of
“Two is better than one”
A close confidant

If not for Jesus, I would not trust you!
If not for my Lord, I would not forgive you!
If not for my Saviour, I would forsake you!
I have enough!

---

Inspiration On: Thursday, 21 May 2015 at 12:15pm

This is the sequel to Why Do You? poetry. You have read the previous journey of my poetry. My heart and trust are fully broken. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Why Do You?

Why do you come into my life?
Why do you come to mess my life?

Why are you jealous of me?
Your grades are better then mine.
You have smarter brain than I am.

Why are you so suspicious of me?
Where do I give you misunderstanding?
I just want to bless you surprisingly.

Why do you use my weakness to put me down?
I thought you are my confidant.
There is so much thing I want to share with you.

Now
My lips are tight
I can not trust you

Why I can not trust you?
Because you lie to me!
Because you add wounds to my salt!
Make my life like a hell!

Why do you believe the devil’s lies?
Do you love to misjudge others?
Do you still live in your mother’s cloud of influence and decision?

Why do you take advantage of my naiveness?
Why do you take advantage of my confusion?
Why do you love to put your words into others’ mouth?
I can not believe your words anymore.

---

Inspiration On: Thursday, 21 May 2015 at 12pm

A lot of strange events occur in my life. When I mean well, my mother in law and husband misunderstood me. When I begin to trust him again and confide in him, he betray my trust. Maybe I look highly of him. Every year, my mother in law gave warnings of divorce threats to me. Then my husband always let me to make the decisions. When the result of my decision turns out well, no appreciation. Yet when the result of my decision is wrong, he always pick on me and put me down. I have felt worse. Yet he makes me feel much worse. Despite my parents warning, I feel foolish to pity my mother in law. But she falsely accused my mother and I out of her jealousy. Recently, my husband loves to start to the quarrel and blame me. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

看門狗 Watchdog

看門狗
看電狗
看店狗

每天看這
看看看
看到打天亮
然後瞌睡

A watchdog
Guarding the door
Guarding the electricity
Guarding the shop

Daily guarding all these
Guard, guard and guard
Till the sunrise
Then it sleeps soundly

---

Inspiration On: Thursday, 30 April 2015 at 8:40am

Living with the label “watchdog”, I feel a strong connection in what I have done. When my parents go out, I stay at home with my younger brother. Now, My habit is to take note the electricity plug when everyone is asleep. It is a daily routine to switch off the switched on electric plug. As long as the electrical appliances are not switched on, many people feels that the electric usage does not matter when the switch is off. However, I care to save the small amount of electricity. Am I wrong to do so? Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Domesticated Wild Life

Preserve Conserve Protect
To prevent
Annihilation

Trapped within limited space
Enclosed in the zoo
Awaiting as an exhibit

Feeling entrapped
Without
Worry of food

Freedom is lost
Exploring and enjoying
The wild life

---

Inspiration On: Saturday, 25 April 2015 at 1:45pm

During my visit to the zoo with my family, I observe the animals that are brink to extinction. They are like exhibitions and I can feel the feelings of entrapment. Even I do not like the feeling of being trapped. This poetry is based on my observation and own experience of being trapped. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Madame

I am surprised Harban addresses me as Madame in our every conversations. 

This is just my question to everyone. 
Do I sound like a small kid or Madame in my poetry? 😙 

I am seeking the truth in my writings and poetry. 😗

I need all your honest truth. 

Thank you. 

Crying Autistic

Living in denial
Hating my existence
Unable to accept
The truth and fact
Deep inside me

Autism is the
Label given to me
Coming from my family members
Many time I deny it
Only to surrender and learn to
Embrace autism in my life

Knowing the angst of my pain
But I choose to smile to others
Showing the brighter side of my true self
Wishing to cheers the broken-hearted
Yet others tend to
Break my heart
And
Take advantage
Of my kindness
Only to land myself
Vulnerable
Miserable
Feeling the awful pangs of hurt
From all the
Pre-judgements

When my world is closing
You come into my life with your own agenda
Soothing words to uplift me
Then you hurt me four times
Pushing me forward three step backs
Then pull me backward four step backs
Why are you playing with my innocence?!
Why are you entering into my world?
Giving me FALSE hopes
Only to DASH it!
Enough of your mental game!
Stop!
My Lord sees it and warns me of your cunningness
To PREVENT me from further hurt!
This IS the FENCE of my BOUNDARIES!

---

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 21 April 2015 at 12am

These are the summary of my experiences birthed in poetry. I thank my Lord and Saviour for the right words to SHOUT it out. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Burn to Save

Manual movements
Manual writing
Manual drawing
Manual play
Burning body energy

Save the battery
Save the cost
Burn more calories
Exercise the body
Thus is

Good for the mind
Good for the body
Good for the heart
Psychological improvements
Living to be

Best to have teamwork
Together to do manually
Though conflict arises
Solve it improve social needs

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Inspiration On: Sunday, 12 April 2015 at 1:40pm

A photo of old pencil sharpener inspires my friend to answer that she has the manual one. Manual is good because she feels it save her stationery cost and at the same time burn more energy. I kinda agree due to the society is depending more technologies that need electrical power. Wish you all have good days and thank you.