Concurrent Events

Cell leader’s mother in law
Had a fall
Being hospitalised
Visit and pray for her as a cell

Own mother has gum swell
Feverish symptoms
Excuse myself to return home
Seeking prayer request via chat group

In the end
Neglecting own homework
Due tomorrow
Seeking my Lord’s help

Sensing exhaustion in own body
Needing the Lord’s strength
More than anyone
Due to weak physical body


Inspiration On: Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Suddenly, my cell leader’s Mother in law had a fall and hospitalised. Then today my mum’s gum swell. She feels she going to have fever. If I can split myself then I will not be in a rush. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Recharge

Deplete warning signs
Growling for power consumption
Mobile devices are wailing for electricity

Rushing towards the library
Eyes scanning for power outlet
Immediately charge all mobile devices

Charging process
Quiet down to read and process three ebooks
Then realizing of self-charge

Worship song is singing in my mind
Feeling at peace
Something good out of period of waiting


Inspiration On: Thursday, 3 March 2016

Upon reaching a meeting place, I quickly inform BL that I have reached. All the three mobile devices cry for energy. All of the energy is reaching to 1% except tablet’s energy is 19%. Library is the first place appears in my head to charge them. As I recharge them, I read and finish 3 ebooks in the tablet. I am also recharged. As I look at the time, it is around 7pm so I called BL many times but to no avail. I feel frustrated and impatient. Repetively, I ask the Lord to enable me to forgive her just as He has forgiven me. In the end, she calls back around 8:30pm plus and apologizes. She can’t hear the ringtone from her mobile phone. She doesn’t realize that she accidentally cause her phone into silent mode. And doesn’t know to switch on the ringtone. I accept her apologies. Though we didn’t able to meet and get my voice recorder back, something good comes out of it. I feel so recharged.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Learn from Mistake

Reduce time loss
Learning from mistake
Grateful to barely survive
Humbled to seek
Prayers from cell group


Inspiration On: Tuesday, 2 February 2016

Oh no! I wake up at 7:30am. I didn’t hear the alarm rings. Immediately, I wake my five years old son up many times. He requests me again to carry him out of the bed. I slightly raise my voice. He goes down his bed. Rushing him like a mad puppy. Thank God to settle everything in 15 minutes and punctual for the school bus.

Instead of bringing him out for lunch, I choose to pack lunch and dinner home before he returns and during his nap time. That saves me a lot of time so I can do my work and submit it via email. BL puts a deadline that I need to complete my CV by this Thursday. I feel so pressured to edit it but appreciate it. Lord, please help me!

In the end, I choose to inform my cell group members for prayers and to be honest about my situation. My parents are returning tomorrow night. Oh yeah, I need to explain that I am bartering service with a startup.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Lead The Way

O Lord
Lead me to the business partner
Lead the business partner to me
For the expansion of Your kingdom
Seeking Your kingdom and righteousness
Protect my family


Inspiration On: Sunday, 24 January 2016

While in the bus to the zoo, I spot there are two doves amongst the gray pigeons on the vast grasses. I feel so delighted and comforted that I am not going to be alone in the business anymore. Lord, I am hoping to find the business partner. Lord, please lead the person to me and lead me to the person.

At night, my husband calls to his hometown and connect our son to talk to his mother. Whenever he presses the telephone loudspeaker, my husband raises his voice to our son. Today, he switches on the music and let our son talk on the phone. Is he playing politics again? Normally, he doesn’t switch on music. Is something amiss?

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Pre-Leadership Prayer

Not my will
Let Your will be done, Lord
Yes
I am willing to step into leadership
Lead me, O Lord
In the steps
For Your kingdom’s sake
Protect my family


Inspiration On: Saturday, 23 January 2016

After attending storytelling course has ended, suddenly I begin to count on the messages I receive about my husband’s death. The first dream is I didn’t see him only his gift for me. Then my business mentor spoke about David begged God for His mercy for his first son with Bathsheba. Next is the dream of Husband beside his elder brother’s coffin and to say he is following his brother’s footsteps. The sermon message from SNE’s mother’s funeral wake that those who do not want to die will die but those who want to die can’t die. In order to attend encounter, I am assigned under LT’s CG and SS is my cell leader. When she shared about her dreams about her husband’s death, she didn’t realize it earlier. She felt that she regretted not spending enough time with her husband. Recent dream was another three dreams of my husband’s death. Then a man asked me whether I am a single mother. That ached my heart. After I let go of my wedding ring, the man appeared again to say ‘quick’ to give me a graphic design job and a business space. Few days ago, during prayer I saw my husband’s dead face. Yesterday, LT excluded me from marriage encounter and told me to seek the Lord. Lord, yes I am willing to step into leadership.

Dream is five times. Once in my prayer so I opened my eyes. Twice from sermons. Four times through people.

Glad to be punctual for the service. SS is late. Today, I feel better to worship the Lord. Anna comes. Suddenly, I am reminded of my son’s posture when he was in his 6 months. He raised his hands so high begging to be carried. So I raise up my hands high to the Lord wanting to be carried. During sermon, I receive the Lord’s message that truth hurts. I thank Him to lead me to the verse to speak the truth in love and He enables me to do so with His strength. I respond to Him in my heart, “Thank You, Lord Jesus for touching my heart and how You show Your heart through my dad’s example and in my life. Thank You for leading me to the verse, “speak the truth in love” many times. Grant me the courage to step into leadership and business leadership for my family’s salvation sake. Equip me, O Lord.” Since nobody is around, I go to the front seeking the Lord’s forgiveness for disappointing Him. I feel unwilling to step into leadership. However, I am willing to step into leadership for my family’s sake. The intercessor asks my prayer request. I answer is my career to contribute my part to further God’s kingdom. I’m looking for partnership with the same vision, mission and values. I thank God to be blessed with a business space though with lesser pay. I gladly accept it. In the space, I never expect to unable to understand simple English instructions. In the end, I misunderstood it and did it wrongly so I got kicked out. She leads me in prayer for the second time. I speak my respond to the Lord, “not my will, let Your will be done. Yes, I am willing to step into leadership for my family’s sake.” Another person wearing black is also laying hand to me. Another intercessor? SS? Impossible it is her. The intercessor prays for God’s leading in my career life and to lead me to the right people. Then she asks my cell leader’s name so I answer I am under SS. She doesn’t know. Then I remember the hierarchy and tells her that I’m also under LT. Again she doesn’t know. Finally, I remember pastor JO and mention to her. The prayer ends and everyone has left.

When I turn my head behind, I get a shock the other intercessor is not an intercessor. Oh, SS, my cell leader. I feel embarrassed. Then she brings me to fetch my son. She finds me because I haven’t fetched my son from his Saturday school. On the way to the MRT station, I feel so speechless and feel awkward. Upon knowing she is busy with many clients, I feel so happy for her to earn income. She has been holding my son’s hand. Then I am reminded to give her external DVD-Writer. She refuses it many times and just want from God. I answer her many times that it is a token of my appreciation of her as a friend. Until she says that I haven’t got a job yet and next time she can’t accept it. Inside my heart, I am thinking “Does it matter?” I feel like answering her to accept it as God’s blessing. In the MRT, she finds out from my son who laughed at me being stepped by the big green parrot. Then he shared that we are going to the zoo tomorrow. She advises me to spend more time with my husband. Oh no! The fifth confirmation of my husband’s death through people.

At night, my husband enjoys looking at me and compliments me to look cute. Do I look cute, Lord? I don’t feel anything when I look at myself. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Frequency and Speed

Different frequency frustrates
Frustrating to put different personalities
With the same value

Frustrates one another
Until both are having a hard time
Bearing one another in love

Having the resolution
To resolve the conflict in
Christ’s love and forgiveness
Amicably


Inspiration On: Tuesday, 12 January 2016

My business mentor sends me a text message, “Praise the Lord that your hubby is attending church with you. Keep praying for breakthrough for him to be touched by God’s amazing love.”

“I hope so,” responding in hope.

“Patience. Declare and proclaim. God is working. Faith is not what we see but believe.” She encourages.

I answer, “Yes. The faith needs to be in accordance to His will.”

“Surrender your will to Him and let His will be your will.” she responds in faith.

Next I share, “I also got alarmed by the dream on Saturday midnight to morning before I attend class. Thank God for the unexpected arrangement.”

Full of her assumptions, “Hope you had shared in the post encounter class.”

“Not yet.” I answer immediately.

“Why not?” She wonders.

I’m explaining, “When everything is cleared first.” Then I testify thankfully, “My husband readily brought our son to nearby mall. My son pestered him to go.”

“Not your wisdom that you thing everything will be cleared first.” She advises.

I know it already so I answer, “Yes. Not my wisdom. Until everything comes to pass first.” Then I continue, “Then meet SS who brought us to church. I thank God to break his strong presumptions about the church at suntec. I explain to him also can’t accept. He strongly presumes that the churches at suntec are materialistic.”

“Up to you,” her response to my previous topic.

So I continue, “I try to explain more about God also can’t listen. Great for the sermon. Beyond persecution. He seems speechless. He has nothing to say. Thank God.”

“It is God who speaks not the pastor and God who causes the eye of his heart to be convicted and ears open!” She corrects. Then she questions, “What made him speechless?”

“Yes. It is God. I can only do my part. he has nothing to say against the Protestants. Great. And I thank God for that. I can relate and understand the message clearly. I thank God to help me during post encounter.” I clarify.

So fast in her opinion, “Share your dream and not think in your own wisdom you want to wait for everything to clear.”

“He enables me to point to the right verse for the given questions.” I continue on the post encounter.

She suggests, “If you wait it could be too late. As you share with the body of Christ, they can pray against the dream if it is not good or protection over you.”

“I don’t want to lose my husband. Unexpectedly, he goes to church. During intercessory prayer, I share it and the lady mentioned I need to share it to my cell leader. Then I share. They guide me to cast it down. Too soft.” I confess. My imagination guides my fingers however articulate it wrongly, “Can’t kick the devil away.” Kicking the devil away plays in my mind repetitively.

Abruptly she advises, “Never hesitate to share with your SS and CG.” She answers, “Never hesitate to share with your SS and CG.”

“Yes. SS says so.” I continue and explain further, “I realize the tone of my voice.”

So full of her opinion to get my wrong message, “By saying that you believe that Satan is greater than Jesus.”

“Nope.” I fed up in the way I express myself.

She corrects my thinking, “That what you feel by saying : Can’t kick the devil away.”

“Jesus’ authority and the tone of His voice,” I continue and feel frustrated to explain myself.

She does a screenshot of the wording, “There is power in the name of Jesus.”

“I have been thinking about the Bible,” I express.

She presses on, “The fact that you said : Can’t kick the devil away. That means you entertain the thought!” This is frustrating to talk to a fast person when I want to share about myself.

“It’s not. Can you please listen?” I plead.

Abrupt opinion, “Then can you please don’t say that!”

“Ok,” I answer instantly. Then I re-clarify, “I’m trying to say. I have been thinking about the Bible in how Jesus’ voice tone to cast out the devil.”

She says, “No, it was not what you said. The bible never said: Can’t kick the devil away.” I feel so tired talking to her and reply, “Yes”.

She exclaims, “But instead the bible cast out every demon!!!” So I apologize, “Sorry if I don’t express it correctly.”

I begin to understand the reason people misunderstands her. Because she ever asked me, “Why people misunderstand me?” She is too fast in her opinion rather than fully listen.

She pinpoints, “Don’t try to cover up your mistakes. If you don’t know something, admit you don’t know and not try to give people impression you know.” Her abrupt opinion again of me. When I don’t say I know.

“Can you please hear me out?” I plead again. Then I continue, “I have been thinking about the Bible. I am wondering about the tone of Jesus tone to cast out the devil. When Jesus rebuke the devil in Peter, “get thee behind me Satan.” In Matthew 16:23. That has been impressing my heart until now.”

Finally, she listens and responds, “Yes, and?” I feel so glad.

“Thinking about the tone of my voice.” I wonder.

She corrects, “Nothing to do with your tone of voice rather than the way of praying against the devil. How does a warrior fight? Gently or in authority?”

“In authority with love and compassion.” I’m thinking in terms of human interaction.

“You fight with the devil in love and compassion?!!!!” She loudly exclaimed. Then I realize she means spiritual realm until, “What rubbish are you talking about?”

“Nope. I thought is to hate sin but love enemy because God wants everyone to be saved. Do you mean the spiritual realm?”

“Frustrating talking to you!!! We have been taking about casting out devil!!!”

“Oh ok. No love and compassion to the devil,” I answer.

She poses a question, “You have?”

“Hatred to the devil.” I answer. Phew. This is so tiring.

Then I clarify, “Whenever I want to say something,

  1. At times thank God it is said clearly
  2. At times I feel so pulled and silenced
  3. At times I say it wrongly :(”

She expresses, “More than that : You need to stay focus on the topic and not talk about something else not related to it.”

“Got it. Thank you for this.” Finally to resolve this. Needing her voice to speak out I ask her, “Do you mind to record your voice? So that I can remember it much clearer. Thank you to do so.”

When I share about Matthew 16:23 to SS, my cell leader, I feel being heard.

I begin, “SS, I have been thinking about the Bible. I am wondering about the tone of Jesus’ tone to cast out the devil. When Jesus rebuke the devil in Peter, “get thee behind me Satan.” In Matthew 16:23. That has been impressing my heart until now.”

“What do you mean ‘Impressing’? disturb you? Or you feel He is so great to sense the devil behind Peter?” She questions.

I feel so validated and able to articulate, “I feel that He is so great to sense the devil behind Peter and can cast it away.”

“Don’t you know He is God in human form. He can even see through the heart,” she questions.

I feel better, “Yes. Those verses really makes me think a lot about Jesus.”

“Yes. What? You know He is God.” another question from her.

I comfortably answers, “Yes. He is fully God and fully Man.”

“Keep it up that He is God,” she encourages.

Thankfully I reply, “Yes. Thank you.”

“You are welcome.”

It ends better. I begin to understand the frequency between my cell leader and I. After I clarify with my business mentor, suddenly my cell leader, “Hi! Tienny, would you like to join Business mentor and myself for worship on the 15Jan, this Friday at 10am at my shop? Thanks.”

“Sure, I reply instantly.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Urgent Prayer Request

Immediate identification of spirits
Disturbing my family
Power from the Lord to calm down

Seeking prayer
On my husband’s behalf and bound it
Informing my cell leader


Inspiration On: Saturday, 9 January 2016

I am awakened by three dreams about my husband. The first dream he fetched me home In the second dream he lost half of his right leg. The last dream, his neck swelled due to thyroid and passed away. Immediately, I WhatsApp Uncle WY to pray against the spirit of handicap, sickness in thyroid and the spirit of death. Then I learn to pray and cast such spirits.

Heavenly Father, I pray for the job at the creative agency. In Jesus’ name. My business mentor considers whether she wants me to add her as co-owner of our business. Lord, if she doesn’t want, I can’t do anything. Of course, I want her to be the business partner.

I feel uneasy to ask my cell group for prayer for my husband. They sound so happy to celebrate on the anointing. Then I text message Uncle WY to ask for prayer. Then I rush out of home for the service excellence class. Only to realize he messages me, “A JESUS CHRIST-Blessed Sat morning to you, do u think your husband can allow me to pray with him to JESUS to Heal him? May i call u now? 8.20am Sat 9th Jan?” Oh no. I answer, “I’m sorry. I just see your message. In the morning, I prayed for him. And I cast out the spirits. Now I’m on my way to attend government class from 10am to 6pm.”

I’m surprised that my husband will bring our son to nearby mall for dinner. Thank God and so thankful of him.

The Service Excellence helps me to understand the reason IC likes my service. Thus the Lord enables me to move forward in business. The trainer is known as MST. During lunch, he and I have conversations. IM praises the fast changes of my outlook. I thank my business mentor who helps to point my problem and suggested to me to work in a conducive environment. Then he asks me, “people easily distract you.” I respond, “Yes, people distract me. I am distracted easily by people.” Inside my heart, I feel bad not to get things done due to people. Is that the reason Perine says, “no wonder” upon seeing my personality test. He points my strength that I have kindness. What? Then he continues that a company needs to have vision, mission and values. That is where million dollars is invested into a company. Why do I have to hear this for the third time? The trainer explains very clearly about vision, mission and values. We are given exercise to brainstorm a company’s vision, mission and values. I am assigned to a group of South Indians to discuss on a supermarket setup. Surprisingly, everything flows out and I explain to the Indians the correct section and better words. I get excited in the exercise, design the logo and drawing people. I enjoy listening to others’ presentation. In our turn, they tell me to move forwarded . I refuse. The trainer will make us to run a big circle. They point me to move forward. Reluctantly, I move forward and present. Thank God for the clear presentation.

During dinner, my son pesters him to go to church together. In the end, he relents. I explain to him that the church worship is using drum. He still goes and introduce him to SS. I inform Uncle WY about it. In the service, a pastor preaches about persecution as Christians. It’s not easy to be followers of Jesus. That can destroy his presumptions that Churches at suntec are materialistic. Hallelujah! I feel so delighted on the married couples going together as a church to relive the honeymoon. So far no reaction from my husband to receive Christ. In the prayer for deliverance, I ask the lady to pray for my husband. Thank God to learn to bind the spirit of handicap, sickness and death in my husband. They also guide me to speak the proper tone to bound those and the spirit of fear in me. The lady highlights to me to share to my cell leader. No need to feel bad to confide in my assigned cell leader. So I point to SS and she is called. She comforts me to tell her about such issue and the cell group will pray together for me. SS explains the reason the devil bully me because I am so quiet. I learn the mistake in my tone to cast the demons away.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.