Feel Rejected

Thank God and thankful for catching my business partner/mentor at the top seat looking fed up and not replying to my WhatsApp message whether she has reached the talk.

Thank God to meet my business mentor’s friend again whom she is helping. Glad for the amazing courage to immediately ask his business card. It’s like a prayer answered. Though he helps me to see the local media business sector is not good, I gently disagree. When he explains that the technology is driving animation, I disagree too. That shows he doesn’t understand about media. The way she chooses to let him does the talking clearly shows her rejection. He says that he shares his opinion to her friend on Frugal Innovation talk. It is not good enough because he has been in the professional trading industry for many years. She can’t accept it because she finds it good. Though I find it good, I’m okay to hear from another perspective. From him, I begin to see my business mentor’s role in his business. Her role is to talk to the banker. There is no partnership agreement. 

After the talk, my business mentor brings her sister in Christ to the nearby Admin building. There she explains the adjustment process to wear high heel shoes and not to walk long hours. Because I tell her that I have a sprain and fall thrice on my way to Frugal Innovation talk. She is about to call her career consultant about the MacBookAir charger due to I can’t find it. Until there is tugging to call house. When dad sees the charger, I am reminded that yesterday I take it out of my bag due to taking my water bottle out. Oh no! Thank God that she hasn’t called her career consultant. When I ask her on her business partner’s Chinese name in his namecard, she harshly tells me to check it from the dictionary.

After the innovation talk, my business mentor introduces someone from a job search who gladly offers his help to assess my unique values to contribute to the company. So at night, I write a draft email and send it to my business mentor for correction. She replies, “Email is fine. Independence is writing yourself without relying on me.” It sounds angry to me so I ask her, “Why do you sound angry to me? Did I make you angry?” Her reply is, “This what I meant by independence in my WhatsApp last night.” I am speechless for her not to answer my question. Why? I can sense the rejection from her. Why am I always tossed around? O Lord, please have mercy on me.

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Dark Jungle

Living in the jungle
Jungle of darkness
Prison of isolation
Rejected
Starving love
Beware of the lurking evil

Dark sharp pointed hands
Knock the door of minds
Possessing the hearts
Sowing seeds of darkness
Into the hearts and minds
Hatred breeds within

Bitter fruits bloom out
Out to lash innocent lives
Lives in dismay and destruction
More minds and hearts are
Smeared with questions and blood
Smeared with hurts and pains

An excruciating endless cycle
Are lives not precious?


Inspiration On: Sunday, 15 December 2013 at 12:14pm
Inspiration Ends On: Monday, 21 April 2014 at 3:17am

Understanding human’s psychology and the heartbreaking news of contaminated food, riots, and war summed this poetry. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Lost Heart

Rejection
Loneliness
Fear
Failure
Inflict pain
Into the
Abyss
Of our
Inner
Hearts
Souls
Core beings

Heart is
Lost in the maze
The maze of life

Though time heals the pain
Scar is etched forever
Forever reminding
Forever
Remind


Inspiration On: Monday, 10 June 2013 at 3:32am
Inspiration Ends On: Wednesday, 12 June 2013 at 8:14pm

The words “Rejection Loneliness Fear Failure” invited the feeling of pain. Then my mind wondered in astonishment to analyze such words and feelings.