Environment and People Issue

Complaints and murmurings
Tend to cause the environment hostile
Without realizing it pulls me down
Cause me to lose focus at home

Relationship and environment
Boost my morale and motivation
Produce good effect in performance

Inspiration On: Wednesday, 2 March 2016

At home, I feel so frustrated and upset. So I choose to work at the library no I can breathe better and concentrate. I think through the reason I feel vexed at home. Suddenly, it dawns upon me of my mum complaining her frustration to communicate with the maid. I can’t stand to be at home. Never expect the environment is pulling me down. Lord, I need You to push me up. Then I realize I can flourish better in the working environment.

My mum explains that I need to use bicycle and need to learn to manage my time. It’s my fault so I keep quiet due to buy for chicken thighs for the new maid.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Clearer Perspective

Holding A brother in Christ calls
Out of concern
Put prayer first seeking God
Then he listens intently
Closing with prayer
A sister in Christ
Sends Matthew 10:37
Explained in a clear manner
Confounded my wrong mindset
Love God by loving others
Correct meaning must
Listen to His will
Above relationship
All relationship will fall into place

Inspiration On: Monday, 18 January 2016

Uncle WY to listen with understanding and pray on the relationship issue between Business mentor and I. Some relationships are gone. Some relationships are good to keep. He shares about his church issue who talk behind the pastor’s back. This person leaves. Great to hear that my belief is according to God’s teaching to confront in person. I share the qualities I like from Business mentor. Lately, there are so many misunderstandings. He prays for me to leave our misunderstanding to God and let Him to deal with her due to my slowness.

Suddenly, a sister in Christ explains another perspective from Matthew 10:37.

Who is my master? Relationships?
Matt 10:37 “anyone who loves his father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. Anyone who loves his son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.”

Jesus is not asking us to hate our loved ones. What He means is that we should not love our family so much as to keep us from doing what God wants us to do.

When we put God first, all other relationships fall into proper place. Our love for God will govern the demands on our time, priorities and God’s call on our lives.

God is so timely and to give me another perspective from the scripture. So I send this to Uncle WY and confess to God and him, “Uncle WY, I have sinned against God to care about relationships. I thought caring about relationships is to give a good testimony. Thank God to realize that care about relationships is in my nature too. I almost lose myself and my own voice too. No wonder I wish to have Christian parents.” He comforts me of God’s forgiveness, “Hey Yoshiko, dun worry, Our GOD always wants to forgive us when we come to JESUS in total Repentence ok? The Lord is merciful and gracious, Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. He will not always strive with us, Nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, Nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; As a father pities his children, So the Lord pities those who fear Him. As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting On those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children’s children, And so as we really really(100%) put Our GOD, above everything, our beloved families, our talents,, our possessions wch we can never bring along with us, our eveything, HE will take over our lives, our thots, we desires, our will, our future, our families(husband, kids) n Bless us. Matt6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Lord, please open the animation industry door where I can contribute my part in Your kingdom.

Then I call DK, the animation school founder. He explains about the character design masterclass and the animation IP business.

I wish to have the continuous friendship with Business mentor if the Lord permits though she is so straightforward, too assertive and too opinionated. Please work in her heart too. You let us meet and give me the opportunity to be friends and show my appreciation. The bible study on Faith vs Fear v1 has been echoing about close relationship with God. LT shares it is likened to have a close relationship with an obedient child. Thereby whenever the child asks for anything, as a parent you just want to give it to that child. Business mentor comes as a result of my prayer.

At night, I speak my heart through WhatsApp, “LT I have answered the bible study for the faith versus fear 2. I feel so peaceful and I can understand your message clearly for the part 1. Thanks a lot for your clear explanation. Because I can relate to it through my observations and relationship in my family.” She answers with a thumbs up emoticon.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

My Current Helper’s Feelings

Oh no! Oh no! Why do I say, “I can understand KJV better”? Lord, do I really say that? My business mentor and my cell leader heard it. How come I forget? Normally, I don’t forget on what I have said. So I clarify with her. She explains, “You insisted on using KJV which baffles us. It is very frustrating and difficult to mentor someone who is not humble enough to want to learn and insist her own ways. You said you enjoy reading it like poetry in psalm.”

I answer relating to my past, “Before I use NIV with my ex-mentor then KJV. Then I read other versions.”

“Bible is the breath of God who speaks to us and helps to know who He is. It is not about reading poetry.” She explains.

I reply, “Sorry. Yes. Bible is the breath of God.”

“I don’t even use KJV for it is not easy to grasp let alone you!!” She exclaims.

I explain myself, “Before I have been attending Christian arts group. Most of them are poets. Maybe I caught their bug.”

“How to mentor you if you ‘stubbornly’ insist your ways!!!” She raises her voice.

I am confused, “Huh?”

“Bible is not poetry. And you are not even a poet.” She insists her own perceptions. Lord, I give up on her ready. Now, I begin to see the clearer picture. When my mother questions my helper, she replies so softly. I heard her soft reply. However, my mum didn’t hear it and scolded her. Now I begin to understand my position. Maybe I shouldn’t be with finance people, Lord.

I explain myself, “Now I am reading it again. Don’t you ever mention that my English needs improvement? I hope that can help me to improve my English.”

“Don’t you ever speak to me that way!!! Improve what English when you don’t even want to ask questions despite me advising you for months!!! Ask questions and find out before getting me insulted by that Malay hooligan and letting yourself being used by him. Yet you can still speak for him!!!” She raises her voice. That immediately makes me cry. No wonder my helper doesn’t want to continue her work. Lord, should I say the reason people misunderstand her? 

Suddenly, I want her to wake up to her senses by sharing my current life situation. I begin, “I apologize for doing such mistake. And learn to correct myself.” Then I continue, “Now I have an issue with my helper. She insisted to return to her hometown. When my mother questions my helper, she replies so softly. I heard her soft reply. However, my mum didn’t hear it and scolded her. Now I begin to understand her position well enough. No wonder I feel the reason you sound like my mum.” Lord, should I tell her that IC and BL misunderstand her? They are offended by her too?

Suddenly, she sounds so angry, “I have enough of your bullshit. What’s the use of apology when you kept arguing with me despite me cautioning and advising you time and time again!!! And acted against my guidance.” This really hurts me so much.

Instead of being hurtful, I learn to explain myself in a nice way, “Does it mean I can’t even explain myself? Am I always being accused by everyone’s opinions?” Lord, I have enough of this too. Even I feel tired. She is so hurtful and too opinionated. Now, I begin to see the clearer picture, Lord. Suddenly, I remember that she shares happily to find a life partner. I can only end it nicely to her about my prayer for her, ” I’m glad and happy for you that you can find your life partner. I’m glad for the Lord to answer my prayer.” This is the problems between the older generation with the younger generation. Lord, she is so hurting. I have enough with her too. 

I have been crying my heart out to the Lord. Thirsty and need the toilet. After I drink a cup of water, I enter into the bathroom. My eyes are red in bloodshot. Suddenly, there is A voice in my head speaking, “Don’t lose yourself over her.” I answer, “Yes, Lord.”


Do not


To Solve.

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 4 December 2013 at 3:45pm
Inspiration Ends On: Sunday, 23 November 2014 at 5:19pm

This poetry was inspired during watching “Frozen” animation. Freezing in the cold. But this poetry is frozen half way due to reacting and responding to juggle so many tasks at hands. Inside, I feel so upset for no reason. Then I realize that I have neglected this creative talents in me. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Tears of Hurt

Tears of grief
Tears of hating conflict
Tears of dislike to hurt
The need to confront
Someone who brags
Someone who lies
A jealous filled person
Driven by green eyes heart
My heart hurts for her
Before speaking to her
But without confront her lies
The more she stirs and messes my house

O Lord, You have heard
Heard her lies
You have heard my confidant’s advice
O Lord, You have heard Sennacherib’s blasphemies
You have delivered King Hezekiah from Sennacherib
Please, O Lord, deliver me from this braggart
Please, O Lord, guide my speech
Please, O Lord, rescue me from this mental anguish
Please, rescue me
Save me from this dilemma
Please tell me what I should do, O Lord
Her words are killing everyone
Her words are destroying everyone
I don’t want her to destroy my family

O Lord, I beseech Your guidance
For I trust in Your deliverance

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 16 July 2013 at 4:15am to 4:44am

My friend called and shared to me and asked me to write for her and ask what she should do. Though I was speechless, I put myself in her shoes, birth me this poetry. I feel speechless. This is her story, “The song ‘I Surrender’ by Celine Dion spoke to my heart and my tears of grief overflows to my Lord seeking His deliverance. Though I dislike the liar’s speeches and actions, the desire not to hurt her was laid bare to my Lord. My confidant suggested to me that it was time to confront the guest before the situation got out of hand. Those who disapprove her lies are my neighbour, helper and even a weekday beverage deliverer. But I still believe in God’s wisdom and Hand of guidance. My mind and heart is confused in what I should do.What should she do? Your feedback is most appreciated.” This reminded me of 2 Kings 18:12-37 where King Hezekiah cried to the Lord of host.

Roll Roll

Rolling to me
Grabbing the whole blanket
Roll back to his position
Rolling to the other side

Next day
Rolling to me
Grabbing my bolster
Roll back to his position
Rolling to the other side

Several days later
Rolling to me
Breathing snore
Roll back to his position
Rolling to the other side
Gritting his teeth

Days pass by
Rolling to me again
Grabbing air
Roll back to his position
Rolling to the other side
Roll and roll
Wakes up on the floor.

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 21 May 2013 from 1:25am to 1:31am

This is my every night experience sleeping with my husband. So I choose to have a separate blanket. Thank God he didn’t squash me with his large and tall body. Maybe I’m too sensitive. I do wonder how I sleep. He told me that he ever fell from his bed. Only realizing it after he woke up.