Counselling parents makes children with autism communicative video helps me to understand myself better. From it, I learn that my mum helps me to improve my autism through my studies. That is the part I enjoy to be at home. After I receive Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, I receive and sense His love. That makes me to learn to be more the right person and more communicative. However, out of love and care for my parents, I made the stupidest action. I listen to them to get married when I wanted to postpone. During courtship, there was a uneasy sense from the Lord. This is my biggest regret to let my parents suffer with me. Deep down, I feel worst than anybody. Yes, children need to obey their parents in the Lord (Ephesians 6:1-3) However, parents shouldn’t exasperate their children. (Ephesians 6:4) Why should parents relinquish their children’s potential? They need to respect their children’s opinions. The most important thing in life is the values inside of us. Our character are important in the eyes of our Creator. He looks at our hearts. (1 Samuel 16:7)
Tag Archives: Saviour
Initiative Motivation
Desire to help
Motivated to improve
Stepping up to make an initiative
Through
Suggestions and doings
More than the required work
Improve the business presentation
Inspiration On: Friday, 13 November 2015 at 11:47pm
Thank God and appreciate my new boss’ patience and guidance. She lets me understand the whole picture and reveal to me she is in the planning department. I begin to understand and see the big picture. When I see her, I see myself working non-stop and not care of my body rest.
My business mentor signs me up for the women’s entrepreneurship for the U.S. Embassy talk in four days time. I feel so shocked because that is my children’s book deadline and to meet BL. After I think through, I will ask her to give me the news. I need to complete the children’s book especially the animation script. Thank God for the courage to tell her.
I feel so happy for my new lady boss to appreciate my creativity. I begin to have the courage to share my suggestion to improve the package posting to give the customers a good impression. Strange for my business mentor to come into the picture dictating the entrepreneurs to exercise and eat healthily.
Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Make Up Foundation Looks Confusion
Address my business mentor
As beauty consultant
To ask about
Make up foundation questions
With natural ingredients
Without harmful ingredients
My purpose is to
Cover up any bruises
Any minor wounds
The beauty consultant gives the
Keywords to google
Concluding my unnatural look
Inside is full of confusions
Praising my wedding photo
Now feedback unnatural look
Inspiration On: Thursday, 12 November 2015 at 11:20pm
When I observe my friend’s dry hands (whom I admire her courage) and the need to cover my bruise, make-up foundation comes into my mind. Then birth out the poetry for my encounter with my business mentor. Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Sudden Courage
Pretend not see
Someone who cheats my money
Persuaded me to sign contract to pay him
Playing my naivety
Only to realize
Useless to be fearful and runs away from
Such person
Crying from inside to
My Lord and Saviour
Seeking for help
Amazing courage to look at
That person in the eyes
And walk away
Marvel at the immediate response
To certain situation
The more I need the Lord in my weaknesses
Inspiration On: Wednesday, 11 November 2015 at 8:45pm
I thank the Lord to hear my cry to Him because I see someone (who cheated my hard-earned money) from behind and pretend not to see him. Amazingly, there is an immediate courage towards him when I bump to him. I am surprised to look him at eyes and walk away.
Meeting a classmate. Glad to meet him after I coincide the one who cheated my money. My classmate explains to me how to tap on government funding. Then he encourages me in my confidence to nail down on the creative section strength I can focus on. He knows my business values. He also shares his experiences to complete his own projects. It is good to attend free workshop to complete own projects. Very true. I thank the Lord to have my classmate around. Phew. I am amazed how God let me focus on the real starting out creative people I coincide with.
Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Humbled to Confess
Living among the unbelievers
Being the first one to be saved
For more than ten years weary me
Influencing my life
Tend to put down my faith
Losing the meeting time with believers
Losing myself many times
Pressing on in my faith in Jesus
Crying to Jesus
Holding on to Jesus
Choosing to love
Though made mistakes along the way
Confused with too many people
Confused with too many demands of life
Scared with the nightmare as a warning
Cause me to depend on God’s providence to
Run away unscathed from the chains of darkness
Praying
Interceding
Until
Raising my white flag
To confess to
A sister in Christ who pushes me back to
The flock of Jesus
Whom the Lord comforts me four times
Preventing me from developing sociophobia
Pouring me more courage to persist to
Contribute my part for His kingdom
Inspiration On: Tuesday, 10 November 2015 at 11:30pm
Finally, I confess to a sister in Christ to seek for a spiritual warfare pastor for guidance through WhatsApp. This is so humbling. She is my business mentor. Upon hearing my confession, she instantly email me the class. However, I couldn’t attend due to not the member of her home church. Oh no! After I send her the prompt, she helps me to find out the matter. In the end, she sends me her CG Leader contact. I feel at a loss so I ask her, “Yes. How do I say to her?” She explains her understanding of me wanting to sign up for the class. Until it frustrates her, “And yet you can ask me what to say! Am I talking to a kid???!” I feel so embarrassed of myself. Then she moves me, “She is expecting you to contact her.” Finally, I text her and she calls me. We are meeting this Saturday. I feel relieved.
Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Restart and Re-learn
Restart and Re-Learn
Restarting new life
Re-learning everything in life
Asking directions
Outside home
Inspiration On: Friday, 6 November 2015 at 9:50pm
The bruise under my right eye lessen though laugh cause pain and my forehead points are in pain.
Today is my pay day so I go to the office to collect my cheque. My supervisor understands I want to cash out the cheque so she does not cross out the cheque. She kindly explains to me that cheque shouldn’t be crossed if need to cash it out. However, she warns me that if I drop it, anybody can cash it out.
I ask my business mentor about the pandora voucher. She explains it is jewelry shop. After I collect the $20 pandora voucher at funan, I inform my business mentor because I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t wear jewelry. She also does not fancy jewelry. So I ask the redemption shop on pandora outlet. She explains that I can call the mobile provider to ask for another useful voucher even though I win it. So I walk to the nearest pandora outlet. Everything is so expensive especially the gold. I can only afford the sterling silver. So I use the $20 voucher to offset the earring price and treat it as a gift to mum.
Oh no! Why am I re-learning everything? Why do my life seems to restart? This is saddening. I still want to move on.
Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Conversation Behind Screen
Physical bruises and injuries conversations
Reveals divine protection upon me
Testifying God’s hand in my life
Showing He is omnipotent
Whining in pain
Only to be told
Being a softie
I’m human depending in Jesus
Recognize own weaknesses
Don’t deter me
To continue my journey to move forward
In my recuperation phase
Some misunderstandings begin to
Clear
Understanding each other better
Inspiration On: Thursday, 5 November 2015
Though my business mentor and mum feel I don’t need to go for x-ray scanning, I have a bad feeling. My migraine worsens. My front forehead is in pain. At times, my left jaw is in pain.
They are shocked to hear that the 16 November part-time job gives me a space to work due to tight budget. Through WhatsApp, my business mentor “What?” sends a shock signal. True that she is shocked. I am surprised of her asking me, “Is this your first physical injury?” So I answer, “This is my first physical face injury.”
She clarifies, “Not just face. You mean you had body injury before?”
“Yes. Fingers, Ankles, and legs. Knees too. When I learn ice skating and riding bicycle. And also motorbike accident.”
More question, “Normal injury like cuts and bruises from fall?”
“Normal injury like cuts and bruises from fall?”
Of course, I am stating the fact, “Motorbike accident? Nothing serious but just a fall from it?”
I answer, “Yes. Hit by motorbike during my primary 4 days. Around a few meters. Almost fell into the drain. Thank God I didn’t fell into the dirty drain. My knees suffer injuries and bruises. And I sprained my knees.”
She interprets, “God shielded you from serious injuries. These are minor pains.”
I agree, “Yes. God shielded me.”
“Then no need be a softie…..”
“What do you mean by softie? In what way do I look like a softie?” I wonder.
“Talking about your swell and pain frequently. Not look. You are a softie.” She explains.
I question, “Do I look like one? I don’t feel so.”
She interrogates, “Why is it you don’t feel so? Well…. You think you are tough?”
“Nope.” I answer.
“And?”
I explain further, “I’m learning to be strong.”
“Experiential learning and challenges of life…”
That’s the conversation with my business mentor through WhatsApp who sees God in an autistic life.
Wish you all have good days and thank you.
God’s Presence
The joy in the Lord to feel His presence and joy despite my husband chooses not to answer my text message to join our son and him for dinner at a restaurant. Reading the book about Social Entrepreneurship and answering the ten questions make me laugh. It is the question of I receive a mentor. It is the Lord’s doing to meet my business mentor. I have been remembering my interactions with her and the recent way she replies. I thank her for contacting BL to encourage me. She didn’t and told me, “You always assume…..!” My response, “Aren’t you often assume too and jump to conclusions?” is enough to trigger her sound like a kid too. “Sounds like a kid arguing. I can debate with you! Give me a case and I will clear with you”. My question, “What case, lawyer?” Thinking of this makes me laugh again especially her denial of her own age is considered senior citizen. Siti also laughs.
Thanks for completing the token of appreciation to my business mentor and write little poetry based on the meaning of her name.
A brother in Christ WY to call me instead of I call him. I confess to him that I feel so remorseful and worst to let my parents suffer with me. It is due to I listen to them and without realizing I ignore the Lord’s small still voice. I share the long term business goal is to let mothers bring their children to workplace. When I hear from him that God will deal with my husband for not admitting his mistakes, I feel so upset with myself and it is too late. The dreams and confirmation from my business mentor and hear about my maid’s mother became a widow. But I have passed him into God’s hands. Strangely I am not as grieved as before. The brother is surprised of the job offer $15 for an hour for 18 hours of work. As the return, she let me use her space to work for my business. He is surprised of the little miracle and that my business goal is according to His kingdom. He prays for me. Then I immediately call the lady to accept her kind offer.
She explains again $15 per hour for 18 hours work per week due to budget issue. But now she needs 20 hours work per week to improve her sales. I understand. It begins on 16 November. She sounds anticipating my coming.
My business mentor to respond to my ‘Accuser & Spoilt’ poetry, “Sounds familiar”. Then she continues, “Just focus on seeking God and serve Him living out His will and purposes. God blesses you with supporting parents and siblings.”
Then I am reminded of the career consultant’s words whom she refers to me. “Oh ya. I remember that YA mentioned that I am at the disadvantage due to my qualifications are not from local universities. So taking projects is the alternative way with a business partner. Can I give you 50% of the paid project amount? At first, it is to be paid 50% deposit of the project amount. After receive 50% deposit, then start to do the project.”
“What project?” She wonders.
“Animation projects. And other kind of projects. When I do children’s book and animation for a company, I ask for 50% deposit then I start the work. Come to think of it. I remember that even the cofounder of a production company gets the 50% deposit first then start the work.”
“Who gave you the project?”
“Haven’t got it yet. I’m processing YA’s words. Before I got it from a friend and a company finds me from google. Networking session can help too. I’m in charge of the production and you are in charge of meeting people. I’ve been reminded of my secondary days. It is part of our services besides coming out own products.”
“Need to discuss to understand what you are trying to say.”
“Ok. Once the part time admin ends and give you a treat at the cafe in the same mall.”
Today, I just find out my helper has been practicing drawing using my son’s pencil. It breaks my heart. Since I have bought a dozen of different pencil grades, I sharpen a set of it to her. I hope she can earn a living through designing and sewing clothes when the time is ripe for her. I share her my experiences how I improve my drawings. Then I cater it according to her fashion designing skills. I copy manga drawing only to earn own style. Recently, I copy logo designs. It turns out so well. For her case, it is to copy clothing designs at home and the manga I show her. She looks so happy and I feel so happy if she can reach her potential. I share my previous full time work experiences as an admin to assist my ex-boss, accounts and shipping departments. After I my animation studies, I cover the admin who replaced me due to cancer operation. My boss and even the accountant wants to offer me the job. I feel bad to replace the one who replace me. She is entering into middle aged. My lady boss sends her message through the son. It is better for me to get a job somewhere else rather than stay in the small company without further career advancement. Strange for her to say so. However, I am reminded of a staff whom the lady boss told him to find another career due to no career advancement in her small company. That staff resigned and receive other job promotions with better pay. Life is strange. What does she sees in me? Is it the Lord’s love and favour? Even I wonder of an ex-colleague words who told me not to forget her. What does she sees in me?
Zero Motivation
I am enjoying the short film and the talk by Talya Lavie, an Israelite filmmaker who is born in 1978, comes from an animation background and decides to do more films. She raises her funds through two Israel filmmaking foundations. Her first film ‘Zero Motivation’ wins Best Director, Best Screenplay, Best Narrative Feature, and Nora Ephron Prize award in Tribeca Film Festival 2014. I learn from her that she believes in her own stories and persists in her own filmmaking journey by producing short animation and films. In her animation production, she doesn’t interact with people. However, there are many communications with people in her filmmaking journey.
I am shocked that a brother in Christ (in Kenya whom I pray for) wants to start a church due to few churches and need my ministry guidance. I feel so small and unworthy. Then I ask my business mentor’s church ministry reach out to which country. Her church only concentrate in East Timor. I never want my ministry name to be in Kenya. It is just a small ministry, Lord. Who else to approach?
I am strongly motivated to produce the media and to grow in Him until a poetry birth in me titled Deep Motivation uploaded to Daylight Tune ministry blog to love my Lord and Saviour.
Nai’s echoing words sound afar ‘Your artwork is commercial! Don’t get philosophical!” I can’t be bothered anymore. I want God.
Lost Self
Awakened
Hidden self
Lost voice
Lost self
Only
To
Return and Haunt
Shattering the shackles
With Christ’s grace and strength
Inspiration On: Friday, 29 May 2015 at 7:07pm
Self understanding is the most confusing part of my life. Recently, the lost self returns, pray to The Lord and is preparing to do self defense. It is lost due to run over by abusive and spoilt people. I blame myself to care too much. Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Yoshiko 