Clarity

Sensing the presence of God
In my heart
Ease my heart and mind

His strength is upon me
Learning to find a matter out
Clear my assumptions


Inspiration On: Thursday, 14 January 2016

Today is the service module on the topic ‘Work in a Diverse Service Environment’ last session. I see God’s favour upon me through the trainer named LM who always remembers my small gesture to fix the sound problem. I approach the man about the graphic design job. I self-learn it myself. He highlighted I need to go for the course skill. Just now in the class, he revealed he is 65 years old, an Anglican Christian from certain part of India. He said that he didn’t go to church because he is always giving help to everyone. He does it for free solely to help. He can’t accept money to return his help. Or else it is likened to business transactions. In the class, he just teaches how to breathe appropriately with nose to relieve stress. I thank the Lord to find favour through LM and he shares my self-assessment publicly in my expectation from him. I feel embarrassed. JG my classmate to explain the partnership with LM to use my animation in his slides. Good idea. I clarify with IM. He has another company to earn income. However, he just opens this nonprofit solely to offer help. He uses the money from his money making company to inject money into this nonprofit company. This nonprofit company is solely for helping those who wants to hone their skills. He works closely with the government and the school. And he needs to reach minimally 500 people. He pays more than $40 per person to attend this expensive and valuable course.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

No Sense of Danger

Jumping around
Climbing around
Explore small lane
Wandering many places
Adventure into the unknown
Without sense of danger

Waterfall
Running rivers
Natural habitat
Animals
Sooth me

Mostly
Swimming pool appeals me

Wandering
In
Curiosity
And
Amazement


Inspiration On: Saturday, 30 May 2015 at 1:37pm

The

Experts say wandering isn’t rare dumbfounded me. I begin to understand myself better. I agree that water is very soothing especially quiet and dark places. My preference is to be in the library due to its quiet and peaceful feelings. I hate pub due to the sense it gives me. The news really shocks me due to my lack sense of danger because my curiosity drives me. Strange that people feels I am like a small kid. This is absurd. I am so upset my family members do not tell me much. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Epic Disaster

Fall into the
SIPPING
Dark hollow cave
Fire of jealousy
Fire of hatred
Disfigures inner heart
Poisons the soul
Devoid of sense
Enters the heart
Devoid of logic
Enters the minds
Terror escalates
Leading oneself to
Succumb to insanity
Succumb to rage
Driven by rage
Driven by jealousy
Darkness emerges out
Leading oneself to
Epic disaster and
Hurting other hearts.

Avoid! Run away
From the SIPPING
Dark hollow cave!
Before losing mind
Before losing heart
Before too late
Too late to
Reverse the path
Reverse the journey.


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 10 April 2013 from 2:58pm to 2:57pm
Inspiration Ends On: Thursday, 11 April 2013 at 2:03pm

Eraser Finger

Draw. Draw.
Draw straight line
On the paper.
Draw. Draw.
Draw until
out of the paper.
Stop!
“Clean it.”
Pointing finger.
Instinctively,
Using his pointing finger
Use finger as an eraser
To
Rub, rub
Rubbing slowly
Rub, rub
Rubbing patiently
Erasing the straight mark
On the table.

It’s gone!
What?!
It’s gone!


Inspiration On: Monday, 8 April 2013 from 1:40pm to 9:04pm

In the afternoon, my son and I were colouring with crayon. Suddenly, the straight line he drew was out of paper and left mark on the table. I told him to clean it by asking a cloth to wipe it. The reason for me to do so is hoping to instill a sense of responsibility into him. Unexpectedly, he used his finger to rub upon it and the crayon mark slowly disappeared. My eyes popped out in disbelief how he knows such a way.

Stage Fright

Dread, Grotesque, Tense, standing fur
Are my strong senses of stage fright
As lights focuses onto stage.

Though showing a calm facade
But my heart is beating furiously with
A trembling tightly closed lips
Awaiting for my role performance reaching completion
With curtains closed the stage
Standing with other performers to give a
Thankful bowing to clapping audiences.


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 at 12:25am & 2:26am
Revised At: 7:58pm

Suddenly, the words, “Dread, Grotesque” came as I reminisced my first and last stage participation. I can feel and sense uncountable eyes staring at me. I could not stand it so I choose not to continue the theatre play at church. Projecting slides, ushering, sound systems, joining Intercessor ministry were my preference and service in ministry.

At the Sight of Cakes

At the sight of cakes
Sense of repulsion occurs
Heap of stones in stomach
And my tongue trembles wavely
Followed by downward curve lips

Oh, I’m trying to run away from the cake shop.


Inspiration On: Sunday, 1 July 2012 at 9:20pm
Revised On: Wednesday, 4 July 2012 at 7:22pm

Almost everyday, whenever I bring my toddler out he often goes to the cake shop to buy cakes such as pandan cake rolls, fruit cake rolls, waffles, and many other cakes available in the shop. Yesterday was his second birthday celebration and my family have been eating his birthday cake until today. Therefore, when my husband and I bring our beloved toddler to the nearby shopping centre upon seeing him leading us to the cake shop, my husband and I immediately left the cake shop with me telling him that he had seen the cakes and the one at home is not finished yet.

Deep Buried Feelings

Deep buried feelings were kept somewhere.
Painful memories were left unidentified for ten years.
Not ten years, more than that.
Unknowingly, it was planted since young.
It was sowed seed by seed.

Motivation of study is from external source.
Motivation of study only comes from mother.
No inner motivation to do so.
No sense of purpose in life.
No compass to guide me.
Only my parents are my compass.

We followed mother to her chosen destination to give us good future.
We lived in an uncle’s house due to lack of finance.
With my own eyes, I saw my mother being bullied.
I wish to stand strong, but I’m weak.
I’m standing at the corner.
I feel lost.
Angry with my self!
Why am I so slow?
Why am I a weakling?
Leave me alone.
I just wish to be quiet.

A slight headache.
Someone came to my rescue.
It is like a Light enters my heart.
There is a sense of purpose.
I need to stand strong.
I can’t!
But in the Light I can.

A door is closed.
But He opens a window.
A window opens my mind to marriage.

With just a few words through written message,
My past deep feelings were dug out.
No, I think I found out now.
Now I found out what it is.
Found out the root cause to fear of marriage.
It is the very seed that takes root in my heart since young.
It shaped my thinking.
It also shaped my heart.


Expressed on: Friday, 07 November 2008.