Emerging and Development

Unreadable
Unpredictable
Full of “why” questions
Questioning own motives

Aligning myself according to
The Word of God
Questioning own abilities

Learning to identify
Natural abilities and learned skills
That emerge and develop through time

How do people around me view my strengths?
What do they see in me?
Do they see Jesus’ strength in my weaknesses?

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Inspiration On: Friday, 20 May 2016

The two days leadership workshop enable me to learn about myself and how my Lord Jesus works through me despite my weaknesses. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Blessing in Willingness to Help

Willingly
Prayerfully
Lend my help
Dare not promise
High hopes of recovery
“I do my best”
Seeking God’s help

She initiates prayer for God’s intervention
Miracle of healing her only laptop
Amen to her prayers
Seeking the Lord’s hands upon it
Advise her laptop to the nearby service center
Her iPad slows down
His wisdom guides and leads me to speed it up

Her relieved look produces
Satisfaction
Joy
Into
My heart
Unexpectedly it solves my iPhone issues
God amazes me

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Inspiration On: Friday, 18 March 2016

Today is such an amazing day. I feel so thankful to God and for today.

The discernment upon looking at Misa’s Sony Vaio laptop. Therefore I advise her to bring it to Sony service centre located at nearby mall. She initiates to pray for God to heal her laptop. So we pray together. Lord, please answer her prayer. In Yeshua’s name. Amen. Then she takes out her iPad Air 2. It slows down. Few apps only. So I advise her whether she is prepared for it to return to its original factory settings. She has no choice to do so. As I Google search it, I come across to restore to factory settings with MacBook. Amazingly, the Holy Spirit leads me to the part without computer. I go into the iPad Air 2 settings. Instead of resetting the content data and settings, I reset the settings. Out of sudden, her iPad Air 2 speeds up. Praise God! In the end, I feel compelled to apply it to my iPhone 5S. Upon resetting its settings, it stops prompting me that it runs out of space. God is amazing!

The animation school administrator sends me invoices and receipts. The school pays the remaining 10% of my school fees.

Overall, I feel so delighted to be of help to Misa. Through helping her, I get to know her better. Unexpectedly, my iPhone problem is also solved.

In the storyboard class, the teacher explains about children does their art through backward thinking. Somehow, it is lost upon reaching adulthood. I am surprised that I’m a “big kiddie” due to my backward thinking to solve problems. IC gives me such nickname. Again, he emphasises that he likes my drawing style. DB, my ex-client likes my style too. No wonder I feel so stifled at home. I feel being put down. No wonder my son also doesn’t like it. When he watches the television, my dad switches on the driller. Therefore, he complains that he can’t hear the television sound.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Help and Work

Seeking my help
Before I begin my job
Explain own experience on older computer
“Doing my best” attitude
Instead of bragging
Refuse to give high hopes
Trusting the Lord to bless the work of my hands

The more my parents probe on the interview
Sudden immediate reminder of
Past accomplishments
Speak out own fear in memorization subjects
Convict mum’s regrets
Dad confirms the course explanation
Skill and knowledge are important combination
The atmosphere turns well

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 17 March 2016

Misa (my cell leader’s freelance hairdresser) begins to ask whether I know how to repair computer. Her computer is Windows 10. I want to help but unsure. So I tell her that I know how to repair Windows 8 and below. She doesn’t mind me to touch her three years Sony vaio laptop. She wants my help before I start my work. My migraine worsens. I need to listen to it to care my body. I want to say no. However, I feel that I need to help her. My heart gets the better of me again. So I choose tomorrow’s timing since she doesn’t see her messages.

During dinner with mum and dad, I begin to share on my doings and said in the interview. CMF lent me her computer repair books. It is acquired during her attending the computer repair course and acquired the certificate. I begin to confess that before I ever repair CMF’s computer. I can repair computer because I try it myself. Then I improve it by reading on those. Another confession is to teach her in programming logic. She said that she had passed it. I feel so happy. Then she confessed that she memorized it and amazingly it came out in her exam. So she wrote exactly on what I have written. I was shocked and glad the question came out. I understand about programming is because Supi and Mr. Tang explained the concept very well. Once I understand it, I choose programming subjects so that I can be exempted from memorization subjects.

Mum speaks out her regret again. If she knows earlier, she will let me stay at my own hometown to work with Supi who trains me. Too bad Supi went to another part of the country. Dad gives positive feedback that skill and knowledge goes hand in hand. They are shocked of CMF’s age same as my sister’s and husband’s age. Then I share what CMF said that she wishes JH and I to join her company. So that she can ask me on the computer skills she is lacking. Dad seems happy for me. It’s good if she and I can work together to complement each other. Then I am reminded of MLST that he points that all 5C combination are needed to reach higher position. I only manage to remember Character and Connection. Because I ask him, “Isn’t character more important than anything else?” He explains that all are needed. He reminds me of the Bible about the body. All the body parts are needed. Then I agree. I’m speechless. He also reminds me of KSA = Knowledge Skill Attitude. However, I remember it as ASK = Attitude Skill Knowledge. Hmm . . . What is God doing?

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Sudden Confidence

Resolving to help
By guiding the helped
Learn to do himself

Eyes screen the failed assignment
Only to faint at its sight
Understand the teacher’s confusion

Ring the helped
Clarify the matter
Understand his app business Cashflow

Convince him with my apps portfolio
Assisting an app developer
Then he believes

No choice to guide the helped
Explain the mistakes to correct and tidy it
Let him understand the teacher’s perspectives

My mission is accomplished
Sense of fulfillment seeps in again
Realizing I am being . . . too soft again!

Marveled by the sudden
Confidence and communication skill
Due to having a hard time to assist in app development

Thanks be to my Lord and Saviour
Listening to my prayers
Enabling me to do so

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Inspiration On: Thursday, 11 February 2016

I need to look at my classmate’s financial Cashflow assignment. The teacher tells him that he does it wrongly. I don’t understand why. I check my email and open his excel spreadsheet. I am immediately shocked of Zl’s financial Cashflow statement. I don’t understand what is he doing. Though he says he attends the first Cashflow statement class, he does the format wrongly. No wonder the teacher tells him to redo. I feel so speechless by his untidiness and lack of understanding. I call him to clarify and to understand his business idea. He thinks I don’t know about Apps business. Then I tell him that I ever assist an app developer to produce two game apps. I have passed and received my certificate. He sounds shocked. I explain that app programmer and app designer are under app developer. As I explain, I write the required edited part. Marketing can be included. Web developer is also necessary to develop the website. I’m eating my own words again! I say to myself to guide him and let him do the work. In the end, I clear his mess. •_• Hmm, I’m surprised I can speak so confidently and clearly. I thank my Lord and Saviour to enable me and strengthen this weak autistic to learn to communicate. May be I can assist IM? How is he doing now? Seems that I work better with senior citizens.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Public Speaking?

Too bad to miss the earlier session of a workplace class due to fetching my son from the school bus. After lunch, I rush to the workplace agency for the Learning & Networking Fair. Upon reaching the place, I am confused that it is not a workshop. I only see an opened door where there are booths of companies awaiting to search for talents. So I prayerfully approach selectively to focus on the areas I have some and more experiences. Amazing and praise the Lord to have the media company. So I approach them to explain about my freelance experiences dealing with analytical, conceptual translated into design skills. I’m surprised they would like to have my resume. Oh no! Thank God that they are anticipating for my resume.

In the ‘Connecting with Multi-Generational Workplace’ Programme, it is time for every table is assigned with an exercise to brainstorm 10 ideas on enabling the older generations to connect with the younger generations. There are three senior citizens whom I sit together. We brainstorm the ideas together and I enjoy sharing my ideas based on my experiences. They laughingly appointed me to be their representative speaker. I feel so speechless and reluctant. Reluctantly I accept the responsibility. I feel so small and inexperienced to do so. However, I enjoy listening to other groups presenting their ideas. When it is my groups turn, I stand up, read the idea points and share my experiences. Those are my experiences working in the ex-shipping company and at home to handle my 5 years old son. I feel my joy to share the good points mum does to share to Huey and also the good points he does to stand up from his chair and let my mum to sit because she is old. Huh? The speaker mentions my name to have the best point in the way to communicate and connect. The picture that often dwells in my head is of a pet dog who cares for everyone and listens to everyone. I just love to listen to people.

At the end of the Programme, one of the senior citizen named Virginia invites me to her toastmaster. I feel that toastmaster sounds familiar but I can’t remember it’s meaning. Virginia mentions it is the place to practice public speaking. I am shocked and full of questions. What is God doing in my life? It is enough to push my button to ask the speaker for help in my communication skills. I am so thankful for the speaker to lead me to the website for the government course to improve my communication skills.

I feel upset to hear from my business mentor that she leaves the library. I don’t have the opportunity to meet her. In the end, I go to the library at the third floor. After I borrow the networking videos, I come out of the library to look for a seat to have my dinner. While I am having my dinner, someone confronts me gently whether I’m from another country. I’m not. She explains the library doesn’t allow to consume food. Huh? I thought I’m outside the library to have a sit. So I hurriedly finish my packed dinner. Then I observe the notice board that the sitting area is still considered the library vicinity. Oh no! And there is a camera. I’m really sorry, Lord. I didn’t mean to do so. My imagination runs wild of being caught. I don’t want to be caught and trouble my business mentor to rescue me. And I don’t want to be labelled as an autistic who misunderstand social cues. I want to be treated as normal human.

So I rush to the networking event my (business mentor introduced) around Tanjong Pagar. My feet are aching to wear the ladylike working flat cream colour shoes. All along I have been wearing boots. Most probably I am a social misfit girl who is struggling to grow up in terms of looking professional. I believe in the Word of God that He cares the inner character values compared to exterior. So I attempt to live out His Words without quoting His Words. My busines mentor’s feedback to wear professionally is essential in business. My beautiful philosophical writings and her view of me in person show a great inconsistency. In person, I look like a big kid in terms of my clothing and verbal speech. Now, I am learning to dress professionally for the sake of God, my family and son.

Mustering my courage, prayerfully I introduce myself and explain that I am a startup looking for partnership and volunteers. That’s what my business mentor taught me to say. This is so humbling due to financial and human resources limitations. I feel so embarrassed of myself to say so. It’s great to meet creative people and the connection with them. My lost self being begin to rejuvenate. A westerner compliments my style of coat. Thank God for the flowness of the speech. When it is getting late, I wave goodbye to them and rush home. All I can do is to pray to the Lord after I do my part.

Ace

A creative entrepreneur
Accidentally found

An Accidental
Creative
Enterprise

In the midst of arts industry
Where the new creatives
Can withhold

Paid
Internship and Professional
Income

To improve employability skills
Passionate to work
Yet able to care the family

Not solitary endeavour
but to
ACE together!

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Inspiration On: Wednesday, 10 June 2015 at 11:55am

In the current creative industries, there is an increasing epidemic where the creative job seekers are not paid during internship due to a book written to the artists to provide their service for free. Are not the workers deserve their wages? Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Colourful Markers

Colour his finger nail
Looks like coloured fingernail
Dashing around the house
Reporting to everyone
Showing to everyone
His beautiful artistic skill
To paint fingernail
With
Colourful markers

Pink markers on his
Pointing fingernail
Looks good
Looks beautiful
Shaming me
As a lady
Who
Doesn’t
Paint
My own
Fingernails.

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Inspiration On: Saturday, 1 June 2013 at 9:45pm
Inspiration On: Sunday, 2 June 2013 at 12:31am

While I was accompanying my mum to watch television programme, I let my son to use colourful markers to draw on paper. Unexpectedly, he coloured his finger nail with the pink marker. Thank God, the marker was cleaned when he washed his hands.