Awake from pain
Awake through pain
Awake in pain
To see a person’s true colours
To separate the truth from lies
To realize own mistakes
Admit own mistakes
Only to be treated as scapegoat
Others throw their mistakes onto me
Letting others control over my life
Let them go by walking away
Enable me to be in control of own emotions
Speaking up to assert myself
Speaking up to create own boundary
Speaking up to stand up for others
Living in continuum pain
Seeking God’s healing
Live to please my Lord
Inspiration On: Monday, 28 April 2014 at 4:50am
Revised On: Monday, 30 January 2017 at 9:30pm
Everyday’s pain in dealing with people births out this poetry. I learn to realise of my own weaknesses and to stand up for my family and myself. Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Delve self into others’ shoes
Sensing all the painful conflicts
Thinking the best for others’ to grow
The Holy Spirit enables me
To find the right words to speak
Only to forget about it
Surprised for own mother
Reminds and praises me on the words I speak
Inspiration On: Thursday, 12 May 2016
Suddenly, my mother reminds me on the good things I have done and spoken. I have a way to speak to Siti to point her mistakes and improve herself. My answer is simple. I put myself in her position and I put myself from mum’s position. What is God doing? It feels great to draw before sleep. Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Today, it is an unexpected meeting my business mentor. she messages me that her meeting with a business consultant is postponed to next week so she doesn’t mind to meet me. She guides me how to spend $10 voucher from an expensive shop because she refuses me giving it to her. Amazingly, I find the glass jug I have been looking for. Then she brings me to nearby food court and we have a talk at a food court. She treats me fried banana and crispy nuts for snacks. I really appreciate her to call someone to find volunteer for a startup company and massage my perpetual chronic migraine. She explains it too fast that I need to learn to speak out to ask for help especially next week during the creative meeting. Oh, this is humbling.
Thank God for the opportunity and courage to tell her that the truth she said is too harsh and to explain that I can’t find the correct words to express myself because I am slow. She confesses that is the way she presents her truth. Then the scripture “speak the truth with love” comes to my mind and I state it is in proverbs. Since I am slow, she teaches me to say “excuse me, let me explain”. When she says that I love my face, I feel so speechless. It’s not about saving my face, it’s being quiet in the Lord and being caring for others.
Come to think of all these things, I have been thinking and thinking. I laugh at myself again. Why do I become a small kid again? However, this time is with a spiritual mother whom I have been wishing and needing in my life. So fierce. This spiritual mother is my business mentor and also my business partner.
In the middle of the night, I begin to search “speak the truth with love” from the scripture. It is found in Ephesians 4:15. It is not “with” but “in”. Oh no! I remember it wrongly. So I quickly message her. I wonder and wonder. What is God doing? I thought I am going to die. I thought I hear Him clearly to sacrifice the little money I have.
A voice beneath the surface
Echo into my
Strength to arise
Inspiration On: Wednesday, 3 June 2015 at 3:50pm
It all begin with “a voice beneath the surface”. From there, more words come along to birth this poetry. I thank my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ to strengthen me and bless me with the inner strength to arise from my hurts. Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Melodies of tunes
The beauty of music
Own hearts and mind
Bass and deep music
High tone melodies
Cute and light feelings
Sense of marching for war
Music without melodies
My sense and ears
Inspiration On: Saturday, 30 May 2015 at 1:37pm
The Music speaks to kids with autism helps to understand myself better. My enjoyment in music and how it speaks to me are answered. That explains the reason I am inclined to songs and musics. Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Tears of grief
Tears of hating conflict
Tears of dislike to hurt
The need to confront
Someone who brags
Someone who lies
A jealous filled person
Driven by green eyes heart
My heart hurts for her
Before speaking to her
But without confront her lies
The more she stirs and messes my house
O Lord, You have heard
Heard her lies
You have heard my confidant’s advice
O Lord, You have heard Sennacherib’s blasphemies
You have delivered King Hezekiah from Sennacherib
Please, O Lord, deliver me from this braggart
Please, O Lord, guide my speech
Please, O Lord, rescue me from this mental anguish
Please, rescue me
Save me from this dilemma
Please tell me what I should do, O Lord
Her words are killing everyone
Her words are destroying everyone
I don’t want her to destroy my family
O Lord, I beseech Your guidance
For I trust in Your deliverance
Inspiration On: Tuesday, 16 July 2013 at 4:15am to 4:44am
My friend called and shared to me and asked me to write for her and ask what she should do. Though I was speechless, I put myself in her shoes, birth me this poetry. I feel speechless. This is her story, “The song ‘I Surrender’ by Celine Dion spoke to my heart and my tears of grief overflows to my Lord seeking His deliverance. Though I dislike the liar’s speeches and actions, the desire not to hurt her was laid bare to my Lord. My confidant suggested to me that it was time to confront the guest before the situation got out of hand. Those who disapprove her lies are my neighbour, helper and even a weekday beverage deliverer. But I still believe in God’s wisdom and Hand of guidance. My mind and heart is confused in what I should do.” What should she do? Your feedback is most appreciated.” This reminded me of 2 Kings 18:12-37 where King Hezekiah cried to the Lord of host.
Who will you choose?
Inspiration On: Saturday, 27 April 2013 from 4:38am to 12:26pm
The words, “sit, speak, stand” had been playing in my mind. This poetry is playing with words and acts as a metaphor to make a contrast between those who just say without actions and those who is full of actions then speak out.