Public Speaking?

Too bad to miss the earlier session of a workplace class due to fetching my son from the school bus. After lunch, I rush to the workplace agency for the Learning & Networking Fair. Upon reaching the place, I am confused that it is not a workshop. I only see an opened door where there are booths of companies awaiting to search for talents. So I prayerfully approach selectively to focus on the areas I have some and more experiences. Amazing and praise the Lord to have the media company. So I approach them to explain about my freelance experiences dealing with analytical, conceptual translated into design skills. I’m surprised they would like to have my resume. Oh no! Thank God that they are anticipating for my resume.

In the ‘Connecting with Multi-Generational Workplace’ Programme, it is time for every table is assigned with an exercise to brainstorm 10 ideas on enabling the older generations to connect with the younger generations. There are three senior citizens whom I sit together. We brainstorm the ideas together and I enjoy sharing my ideas based on my experiences. They laughingly appointed me to be their representative speaker. I feel so speechless and reluctant. Reluctantly I accept the responsibility. I feel so small and inexperienced to do so. However, I enjoy listening to other groups presenting their ideas. When it is my groups turn, I stand up, read the idea points and share my experiences. Those are my experiences working in the ex-shipping company and at home to handle my 5 years old son. I feel my joy to share the good points mum does to share to Huey and also the good points he does to stand up from his chair and let my mum to sit because she is old. Huh? The speaker mentions my name to have the best point in the way to communicate and connect. The picture that often dwells in my head is of a pet dog who cares for everyone and listens to everyone. I just love to listen to people.

At the end of the Programme, one of the senior citizen named Virginia invites me to her toastmaster. I feel that toastmaster sounds familiar but I can’t remember it’s meaning. Virginia mentions it is the place to practice public speaking. I am shocked and full of questions. What is God doing in my life? It is enough to push my button to ask the speaker for help in my communication skills. I am so thankful for the speaker to lead me to the website for the government course to improve my communication skills.

I feel upset to hear from my business mentor that she leaves the library. I don’t have the opportunity to meet her. In the end, I go to the library at the third floor. After I borrow the networking videos, I come out of the library to look for a seat to have my dinner. While I am having my dinner, someone confronts me gently whether I’m from another country. I’m not. She explains the library doesn’t allow to consume food. Huh? I thought I’m outside the library to have a sit. So I hurriedly finish my packed dinner. Then I observe the notice board that the sitting area is still considered the library vicinity. Oh no! And there is a camera. I’m really sorry, Lord. I didn’t mean to do so. My imagination runs wild of being caught. I don’t want to be caught and trouble my business mentor to rescue me. And I don’t want to be labelled as an autistic who misunderstand social cues. I want to be treated as normal human.

So I rush to the networking event my (business mentor introduced) around Tanjong Pagar. My feet are aching to wear the ladylike working flat cream colour shoes. All along I have been wearing boots. Most probably I am a social misfit girl who is struggling to grow up in terms of looking professional. I believe in the Word of God that He cares the inner character values compared to exterior. So I attempt to live out His Words without quoting His Words. My busines mentor’s feedback to wear professionally is essential in business. My beautiful philosophical writings and her view of me in person show a great inconsistency. In person, I look like a big kid in terms of my clothing and verbal speech. Now, I am learning to dress professionally for the sake of God, my family and son.

Mustering my courage, prayerfully I introduce myself and explain that I am a startup looking for partnership and volunteers. That’s what my business mentor taught me to say. This is so humbling due to financial and human resources limitations. I feel so embarrassed of myself to say so. It’s great to meet creative people and the connection with them. My lost self being begin to rejuvenate. A westerner compliments my style of coat. Thank God for the flowness of the speech. When it is getting late, I wave goodbye to them and rush home. All I can do is to pray to the Lord after I do my part.

Introvert’s Achilles Heels

“Public speaking”
Brisk to the stage
Thump! Thump!
Heart beat increases rapidly
Lips pale out
Passing by the audio system
The audio system roars
A fierce chilling wind blows
Provokes primal fear
Sending chills into my spine

Standing on the stage
Mind goes blank
Voice turns to stutter
Feet glued onto the stage
Daunted by the listeners at auditorium
Daunted by rolling eyes to every utterances
Wobbly feet
Getting cold feet

Take a deep breath
Practice speech returns gradually
Speak out

Inspiration On: Thursday, 6 June 2013 at 2:50am
Inspiration Ends On: Friday, 7 June 2013 at 1:52pm

Being an introvert, this is indeed my Achilles heel. I do tend to get cold feet on stage.