Is It A Hope?

Autism test day is nearing
My good friend airs out her grievances let me
Decide to leave or convert to permanent
My heart is prepared to tender resignation
Would a company accept an autistic?

Wishing to do my best as unto my Lord
Share to my friend about certain issue in job
Realising my friend and I are different
She is fast and strong
The Lord blesses me a different strength

Speak to a colleague
Not to assume
Share my experiences in IT and Arts
Clarify I understand each part little bit
Prefers creative job

Show a contact photo
Pointing a creative department
A surprise
Labeled being a good person
Promises to ask for me

---

Inspiration On: Thursday, 28 April 2016

Thank God and thankful for CMF to mean well in her guidance how to speak to customers who refuses to pay. After lunch, we are waiting for the traffic light to turn green. Her unhappy tone, “You can choose to leave or convert to permanent staff” hurts me. The more I choose to leave earlier. Maybe my cell members are right. It’s hard for good friends to work together. Her words linger in my mind. Do I say anything wrong with a colleague yesterday? I talk to her like talking with a friend. Just now, during the lunch I unknowingly talk with a colleague’s supervisor. She means that next time I shouldn’t talk about the communication workshop in the company. She is a manager and doesn’t have time to go for such event. That hurts and make me cry too. I know she means well. Impossible for her to feel unhappy that I talk with other colleague like a friend. My heart is prepared to resign the job especially with the autism test result.

I print an invoice to post. Suddenly, my colleague asks me how to put the logo into the invoice. I don’t know. I walk towards the man and let him see the printed invoice. Then I explain it is generated from the accounting system. I’m stunned with an alien TID word. Next my colleague walks towards his table and I follow him. He opens his computer and login into the accounting system. He points to the SAP menu. Then he explains that TID refers to SAP menu. I clarify that I don’t have accounting background. I enter into the company because CMF refers and I need a stable job. My experience is in IT and arts. However, I know those areas little bit. I still prefer Creative job. Then he opens the contacts page and show the photo of the man in the Creative department. He’ll ask for me and I thank him to do so. Heavenly Father, thank you for today’s conversation with a colleague. He shows the photo of the person in charge of the Creative department. Then he says he’ll ask for me about the job opportunity in the Creative department. If this is from You, please open the door into the Creative department. In Jesus’ name I ask and pray. Amen.

Lord, where are You going to place me?

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Newcomer Becomes Rubbish Bin

Delegate job is understandable
Due to busy schedule
In order to focus on the important tasks
Attend meetings

Inside I disagree
Delegate job task to the newcomer
Due to frustration towards slow computer
Then play games

Boiling flames due to fatigue
Seek the Lord to distinguish my flames
My good friend sees enormous tasks and remind my job scope
Speaks to the supervisor on my behalf

---

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Suddenly, my supervisor asks me to help my colleague to relieve her from a task. As she guides me along, she is frustrated of her slow computer. Then my supervisor also shows the way and explains it takes half a day to do so. Upon completing it for two hours, I question my colleague’s claim. Because I walk towards my supervisor to ask my pay, my colleague is playing her mobile game. Inside I am boiling. I cry to the Lord on this.

While I am rushing my work, I begin to understand the one whom I replace choose to leave.

In the end, I open my mouth to my friend when she asks about the macro. I don’t have the time to continue the macro automation due to doing too many tasks. Because inside I cry to God that everybody tends to throw their jobs to me. Why am I like the rubbish bin? I am not a rubbish bin. I learn it the hard way. Next time, I need to gently refuse and explain the reason. Inside I cry to the Lord for mentors to guide me in animation and teaching in primary schools.

Therefore, she speaks on my behalf to our supervisor that I am so busy to concentrate on the macro. She sees and understands me of being full loaded. I really appreciate her to explain that I have done the most difficult part. Just left the final simple part of macro.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Needing Intervention

Own friend is away attending meeting
Lunchtime with supervisor and male colleagues
On the way to nearby food stall
Supervisor offers to convert
Temporary to a permanent position
Awaiting me to give green light
Seek my opinion
Let me to do consideration

As expected of such ending
Inside calling unto my Lord
What should I do?
Needing my Lord for intervention
Remembering my vow unto the Lord
Awaiting His green light
For a mentor and a group of team
Executing the business idea

---

Inspiration On: Monday, 18 April 2016

Thank God and thankful for many events. CMF guides me though she says that she doesn’t fully understand and has past experience in her previous company. Mum and brother ask about my new job. I can only answer as it is. I don’t understand. When I repeat my friend’s words, they also get a shock and speechless.

My ex-mentor to give me the green light to do plugin freelance job offered by her friend who is capable without IT knowledge yet understanding. She also explain not to force myself too much. Do I look that way? How can my ex-mentor tell?

Since CMF goes for meeting, my supervisor asks me out to lunch with other male colleagues. A colleague’s wife works in a graphic design company who receives a long deadline to do the work. That’s amazing. I wish to work there, Lord. My supervisor seeks my opinion to convert me to permanent staff. I respond that I make mistakes and trying to cope. He keeps on comforting me that I cope well. So I instantly respond to let me consider. Inside I am crying to God knowing such an end. Lord, please open the door to the media industry. So that I can fulfill my vow to You. Strangely, my animation lecturer words echoes “when people have confidence in you, they will invest in you”. Then I am reminded of Ha asks me on the children’s media job since I am looking for it. Because I need the experience.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Many Events

Referred a client
God’s favour through my ex-mentor
Grateful for the opportunity
Being transparent
In my interest yet willing to learn
Willing to reduce price
Awaiting for green light to start

Own husband chooses to
Accede to the new maid’s request
Sending her back to the agent
Notion of him pretend to forget
Irritates me off
Signaling me he does it in purpose
Impatiently reminding today’s class
He points out my tone so I restrain it

Seeking God towards the nearby church
Preaching in loving God
Through loving others
What is God doing?
Appreciate mum’s help to send my son home
Rush to attend biblical married couple course
Meet a sister and take the same bus
Reach the church building

In the course
Disappointed with self
Not realizing the nudge from my Lord
Before anything happens
The worse I feel to disappoint my Lord
Feel like a fool
For being caring too much
Own pride is gone

Awaken of own’s strengths and mistakes
Admit to say
I don’t want to follow my parents footsteps
1 Corinthians 10:12-14 enables me
Summing myself
I do get affected by others easily
Own dad’s words echo “don’t be scared easily”
The more I understand my son

Ending the class admitting to my cell members
I do get affected by others easily
They respond wanting me to speak up
But I choose not to talk about it
Deep reason
Unable to express the right words instantly
Giving others the wrong meaning
Awaiting God’s green light

---

Inspiration On: Sunday, 17 April 2016

Today’s sermon to affirm the Lord’s guidance in my life and my belief in Jesus in the verses, “love God” and “love your neighbour as yourself”. However, still no confirmation on, “treat others as the way you want to be treated”.

My ex-mentor introduces a client to me, speaks on my behalf, asks an increase of $100 for me. Appreciate her to accept my honest feedback interested yet willing to learn.

PL, sister in Christ, looks so happy that her new maid comes. I feel so happy. And I find it funny because my husband sends the new maid to the agency. She asks my budget on my affordability to eat at food court or restaurant. Though I wish to go to hawker centre, I relent to accompany her to restaurant. Because I don’t want her to feel hot. Surprisingly, the lunch at Jack’s Place cost around $16 including tax for each person. She knows where to find affordable yet good food.

J, our cell member, joins us at Jack’s place then we attend biblical leadership course for married couples together. After the class, she helps to find a more affordable office wear.

A surprise. I see a stack of papers with the maid’s profile. Then mum informs me that my son tells his dad that he still can’t take care of himself because he is still young. Therefore, he is choosing a new maid. Among all maids, one is good.

My brother tells mum about what happen at home. Before I return home, my husband calls his mother with room door opened wide. He speaks loudly to tell his mum no need to come here and he is under frustration.

My brother informs mum on my husband’s doing. He opens the room door opened wide and calls his mother.

“What is he lying about?” That’s my instant response. My room door is widely opened. He speaks loudly to let others hear. His mum asks in mandarin, “Do you need me to go?” He responds, “No need to come. I’m under frustration.” A sudden nudge in me. Seems that my mother in law is coming.

My son often runs into my mum’s room during brushing teeth. He is driving me crazy. I slightly raise my voice him, “You don’t like me?! Do you?” Inside I lose hope.

“No,” is his reply. That baffles me.

A blog post photo flashes in my mind. She sleeps with her baby. Therefore, I go to my son’s bed and hug him before he sleeps. For the first time, he wants me to sleep beside him. Upon knowing I apply hot muscle joint pain paste, he wants me to return to my bed.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Executable Idea Submission Day

Today is the
Green initiative submission day
Sense the
Cooperative spirit
God’s favour
Through my supervisor
The son God blesses
Anticipate me to return home

---

Inspiration On: Monday, 11 April 2016

CMF approaches me on the green day initiative submission. Thank God for the sudden edit the wording for the submission. I speak up to write my name rather than the two colleagues in charge of the writing. Because I’m the one who writes the coding. Or else there is going to be confusion. And I speak up that I hope to express it correctly. My supervisor assures the people can help in the write up for green day initiative submissions.

After I edit my write up, she emails to the person in charge and a carbon copy to me. Then she also attaches the PowerPoint about the green day initiative. I’m surprised that she and the macro programmer are in the champion team. When I clarify with her, she mentions that the person before her receives the champion award.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Idea and Partial Execution

New partial executed ideas
Automate word document letters
Out of excel

Skeleton is completed
Seeking help for
The right keywords to
Auto-generate all record
Perfecting the final beauty

The programmer colleagues
Become a radio podcaster
Blast it to another colleague

Intention to keep
Quiet and do it secretly
Are found out
Needing help and guidance too

---

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 5 April 2016

The macro programmer comes to the branch office. I get so excited and ask him questions. So I ask him on my idea on automated letter with VBA. Because I am stuck in certain keyword. He points me to submit my partial executed idea to green initiative. Then the company will assign me another programmer. He can help me too. If I complete the whole coding, it is too late to submit to green initiative. CMF is in charge of it. So I bug her twice because I need help. He shocks me to tell another colleague about my automation idea and execution. Oh no! I don’t want to let so many people know. Yesterday, my supervisor found out about it.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Created Connections

Through current job
Rendered products and services classification
Solve the lost connections in me
Connections are created between two dots
May my Lord enables me to continually do so

---

Inspiration On: Monday, 4 April 2016

My supervisor treat me dinner to do OT and gently explain my mistake. Throughout the overtime work, I learn something new. It is to list on the merchants payment device that needs to be collected due to no payment. The company assigns different alphabets to differentiate different rendered products. According to my memory, this company begins with their terminal devices then card payment. So I make the biggest mistake to come out with so many products.

MF my close friend and I have the same understanding not to say on my automated coding. It is better to keep a low profile. If it is successful, it is the best. If not successful, keep quiet and will not be scolded. Great to find such a friend.

The VBA code for the automated letter template is almost completed. I just can’t find the right keyword to format its fonts style and type. And also how to create a page break and to add other records. I’m anticipating a coder colleague’s coming tomorrow to discuss on the right keywords. He is the one who writes the excel macro. Amazing.

Unexpectedly, my supervisor catches me doing the automated coding. He praises me and I can only reply that it is not perfect yet. He replies that I am perfect enough. So embarrassing.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.