Unawareness into Trouble

A friendly Long haired lady
We are paired into a team group
Team B
For the company team building event
Having fun together
Treat everyone a drink according to own taste
Share her goal in finance industry
Now she is able to reach
An extremely capable lady in counting

Confess everything to close friend
She laughingly respond
Not to get her into trouble
That lady’s photo is inside the website
Yet I don’t know
Inside I feel awful
Intending to get another job
Preparing to open my mouth and ask for jobs
Ready to jump onto another job

Inspiration On: Friday, 20 May 2016

A colleague LK suddenly asks for my resume. That alarms me! Because I decide to leave the company. “I don’t want you to suddenly leave the company,” is his response. Inside I feel so condemned. Because in the company I feel that I am living in the prison. Everyday customers complain. However, I thank God for the calmness to reply to my colleague that I need to print it at home.

The company’s team building time. I feel happy for my friend receives an envelope. The two speakers passes the envelope to our supervisor. He passes it to me to give it to my friend. We are separated into four teams. I am assigned to team B. A friendly long haired lady is my team leader. LK is one of my team mates. I enjoy the play time together – draw from given words together and guessing words.

The 15 minutes break. So the friendly long haired lady with oval shaped face suggests to have a drink. I wish to quickly go up into the room. However, I feel restrained to comply to her welcoming gesture. She lets me choose on the drink I want. No tea at the menu! I see cans of A&W root beer inside a chilled glass drawer. So I speak out to have A&W root beer. I draw out $2 note from my purse. Reluctantly part with it due to attending company’s event. Unexpectedly, she treats every team member and me. We find a table and have conversation with two of my team mates. She asks where both of them work. They work at big companies. I feel so small. Last is my turn. I share about my freelance experiences in IT and arts. So I sum it into ARTIST. Since I don’t have accounting background, I contribute by coding to automate the same letter. As we walk towards the lift, she says there is no black and white way. I respond there is black and white. Earning income through work is right. Stealing and robbing is wrong way to earn money. That’s what I mean. The lift elevates us into fifth floor. So we enter into possibility room. Another game begins. I am so happy to see my friend. A folded blue green craft paper is given to me. Every team members are given the opportunity to represent their own team to push the folded paper onto the table. It is to hit other folded papers away. Every team has different colours. It is my turn. The lady explains to me that the game concept is like billiard. I need to hit other folded paper. Excitedly I use my left hand to push it. It zooms out of the table. “Out of bound!” Oh no! Suicidal folded paper. So embarrassing.

The last game is to arrange numbers and multipliers sign to produce largest result. I observe the lady is good in her arrangement. Division signs are applied to middle values. Minus signs are applied to smallest value. Multiply signs are applied to large numbers. Thus 389 is the final result. It’s food time. That 389 ends us in second prize. The lady goes in front to pass winning prize. Such a strange lady. It is our team’s turn to receive an envelope of winning prize. LK passes it to me. I open it. It is a capital mall vouchers. He let me decide on what to do with the voucher. My idea is to distribute it evenly. So that we can buy what we want. However, LK emphasizes to use it to eat good food together. Fed up! Calmly I ask everyone’s name and write it onto the envelope. He assigns me to be the organiser. He suggests Swensen. The lady comes smiling. She agrees to LK’s suggestion to eat together. She walks towards the front again. I ask him her name repeatedly. He keeps on repeating, “Alice in wonderland.” In the end, he says her full name. She returns to our seat row. I ask her whether I can bring my friend. Sure is her answer. Next I enquires her availability. Her response is call her secretary about her schedule. Then she returns to the front. Strange lady. At my left, LK explains she is CFO. Wan Xun also confirms it. Hmm . . .

My friend encourages me to take the left over. She knows I love beef satay so she reserves the last three sticks for me. Plus reserve the paper box dish that I like. Since my son loves fish ball, she pours all of it into the paper box. That’s more than enough. Everything has ended. However, LK adds more food box, satay chilli and many other until he inserts ice lemon tea pack drink. I have enough. Grateful for her to speak on my behalf. Then she walks with me and carry the plastic bag for me to the bus stop to find bus. On the way, I share to her about all the things I speak to the lady. She replies not to get her into trouble. I don’t know what is happening. She replies that our supervisor and every managers answer to her. “Don’t you understand her position from the way she talks?” That question baffles me. I answer based from my feelings, “she sounds friendly.” “Don’t you check the company’s website? In the website, her photo is introduced as the company’s website,” she probes. I answer as it is, “I check the website only on the job I am supposed to do.” Do I frustrate her? Oh no! Maybe I should quickly grab a job and submit resignation letter. Or else, I’ll get CMF into trouble. Then I board bus 65 and reach the animation school.

The peace at animation class enable me to do my homework reaching more than 30 panels. My teacher wants to see my homework but I’m not ready. I feel so much in tune with my imagination and draw it out. It feels so exhilarating and satisfied.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Ocean of Woe

Drifting aimlessly
On the vast ocean
Ocean of life’s troubles
Ocean of woes
Floating around sorrowfully
Nowhere to go
Feeling lonely
Hoping to find
A destination
An island
Island of team-ship rather than competition

Passing by many islands
Many islands reject after squeezing me
Give! Give! Give!
All these drain enthusiasm in me
Wearing me out
Where is the island?
The island of mutual understanding and respect
Not the dead sea island

Where is the island?
The island where I can rest
The island of mutual understanding and respect
The island of truthfulness
The island of complementing mutual needs

Inspiration On: Tuesday, 8 October 2013 at 9:51pm
Inspiration On: Thursday, 10 October 2013 at 12:18pm

Whenever failed attempts of finding a full time job after having a child for more than three years, I feel downcast. Am I drifting aimlessly in my job search? I wish to support my parents financially. Whenever there is time, I surf the Internet at home and reply to emails and comments due to financial restriction. Some bosses squeezed me and refused to pay me the little income for the work I have done. Making excuses and even empty promises. Only consider their own interests without considering employees’ needs. These really kill my enthusiasm in my work. Don’t I need to eat? Can’t I earn a living? Their motto is their own benefit. When they want to train me, they say beautiful words.

Weak or Dislike Fight

Is quiet being considered as weak?
Does refusing to fight back is considered weak?
We, the introverts, prefer to avoid quarrel
We dislike fight
We dislike quarrel
We hope the bully starters to stop barking

Why should you (bully starters) find fault with us?
What do you (bully starters) dislike in us?
We, the introverts, love peace
We love quietness
We love amicable resolution
We wish the bully starters to respect our boundaries

Bully starters, please stop bullying the weak
Before the situation switch over
And you regret your attitudes and doings
Be more understanding
Be more respectful
Please stop your bullying upon the quiet

Inspiration On: Saturday, 22 June 2013 at 1:35am to 2:16am

Recently, my niece and nephew came from abroad with their mother for a few days. They are my cousin’s wife and children. So they lodge at my house. My son was very happy to have a friend to play. My niece chose to stay home than going out with her mother and my mother. At first, he allowed her to play his tricycle then I snatched back. Sometimes he resort to hitting. He hit my niece who is older than him by one year. But she reminds me of myself. Though she was hit a few times, she didn’t fight back. She chooses to avoid fight hoping the relationship will be well again. Though they are well again, the disagreement happened again. Of course, this raged me and told my son to stop hitting. I can resonate with my niece’s feeling. She is quiet who colours well and mind her own things. I enjoy looking at her colouring.

Recalling of my bad memories to be bullied at school and at home, my mindset resurfaced much clearer now.

Trapped Head

Pushing head into trolley basket
For fun
For play
But . . .
But . . .
Pull out his head.
Head is trapped!
Head is trapped in the basket!

Trolley falls to sideway.
Hold hard with his hands.
But . . .
Still . . .
Head is trapped!
Head is trapped in the basket!
Wail for help!
Grandpa comes to his rescue.
Gradually and patiently
Pull out his head from
Trolley’s basket.
Not to do anymore.

Inspiration On: Friday, 22 February 2013 at 10:52pm

The above incident occurred in the morning while I was inside my bathroom. His mind is always full funny ideas out of curiosity and often got into trouble. Then he learns his lesson. With speech warning is not enough. Sometimes, I just can’t help it. At night, then my helper told me the incident.