As the Lord cares for me so I
Care about others too much
No return is expected
Being open about my weaknesses
I am utterly disappointed with those
Return with wickedness
Desiring to harm and manipulate me
Eating their own words
Fall into their own traps
Refuse to admit and change their words to make themselves good
Get out of my paths!
May the Lord be the Judge!
Weary of such acts
Seeking the Lord’s peace and deliverance
Getting myself back
Preferring with those open to their weakness
And those fully committed in the Lord
Inspiration On: Saturday, 6 February 2016
Today’s sermon is about beyond compassion where God’s biases is towards the poor and to judge righteously. I thank the Lord for His validation on my belief values. The poor shouldn’t think that it is right to receive and receive. The rich shouldn’t think that it’s all mine. God wants to see the poor’s attitude that it is God who provides. And God wants to see the rich’s recognize God is the One who blesses them with riches. So my pride in having giving attitude is acceptable and pleasing in God’s sight. SS’s words echo in my head, “take care of yourself first.” She means I need to take care of myself first before I can take care of others. Hey! That’s what I say to others but I forget to take care of myself. Now, I am learning to do so. Mum is upset for me to be too giving. I am shocked that I speak up for those who can’t speak up for themselves regardless of their status – poor or rich. I unexpectedly defend others behind their back and feel bad to say others’ negativeness. It is important to judge righteously. The Lord shows me that not all poor people are hard working and not all rich are proud. I really thank the Lord to bless me with committed Christians. I feel so grateful of God. He is ahead of me. During the prayer, I pray for His guidance in my life.
On the way home, I confront my son whether my mother in law says about me. He replies that he doesn’t know. Then he says that he never lies. However, I react that he can even lie to get what he wants by using my name. Still he insist that he never lie. Then I share I have been doing my best to find others so that I can bring him to work. And I question him, “yet you can even lie to me.” Upon reaching home, I share to my parents. My mum mentions that my husband’s mother doesn’t dare to talk about me to my son. Because of afraid my son tells me. Probably she talks badly of me towards my husband. I feel bad to suspect my son’s honesty and good intention. Now, I begin to see the clearer picture. No wonder the day my husband cursed me and labeled me badly can show his mother’s false accusations about me. After my dad’s rebuke, he stops his mouth. However, I don’t know what is in his mind. I am so fearful of being pushed again. Now I begin to understand the reason I feel so drained. Caring him and his mother too much. Then they betray me and take my kindness for granted! Treating me like a fool! How can I trust them again?!
Wish you all have good days and thank you.
To trust your initial words
Destroy my trusting hearts
My heart is dead
Whenever you repeat your mum’s words
Like a parrot
The way you play with my naiveness
I feel dejected whenever I remember
You seek me during courtship
Dazzle my eyes
With garland of flowers
Yet now you are different
All you care is yourself
Instead of investigating the truth
You sell yourself to lies
Living in someone’s influence
Third parties’ views are right
The fool is me for not believing them
My heart is dead
Thanks to you.
Inspiration On: Thursday, 21 May 2015 at 12:15pm
This is the third sequel to Why Do You? and If Not For Jesus poetry. Lori Carlson’s writing prompt challenge my heart and mind to birth this poetry. My heartbreak journey is stated clearly in my first poetry. The final line signify my sarcastic remarks to my blinded husband until my tears almost dry up. Wish you all have good days and thank you.
If not for Jesus, I would take matter into my hands!
If not for Jesus, I would leave you!
If not for my Lord, I would have commit suicide!
If not for my Lord, I would avoid you!
If not for my Saviour, I only give you one chance!
If not for my Saviour, I would lock my door!
If not for my God, I would bark!
Yet you barge into my fence of boundaries!
Yet you take me for granted!
Yet you enjoy hurting me more!
Your ACTIONS and WORDS are inconsistent!
You always beat around the bush!
What do you WANT from me?!
I feel sick of your arrogance!
You cause me to fall into the pit of depression!
You give me the joy of life
You share your faith in Jesus
You give me the hope of
“Two is better than one”
A close confidant
If not for Jesus, I would not trust you!
If not for my Lord, I would not forgive you!
If not for my Saviour, I would forsake you!
I have enough!
Inspiration On: Thursday, 21 May 2015 at 12:15pm
This is the sequel to Why Do You? poetry. You have read the previous journey of my poetry. My heart and trust are fully broken. Wish you all have good days and thank you.
Friday, 18 April 2014 at 4:50am
15. Regretting own indecisiveness is completely useless
16. Rather than fall into depression pit
17. Trust my Saviour to go forward
This is the final decision to regret my indecisiveness. Time to move on.
In the midst of uncertainty
Impossible to meet my need
Everything is stripped away
Only faith and trust in my Lord remains
Entered the train with disappointment
But . . .
Two empty seats?
I see God’s providence for my need
No matter how little it seems
It is the most needed part
Praise His holy Name
Inspired On: Thursday, 29 August 2013 from 5:04pm to 5:16pm
While I was going to my new workplace for a certain event, the train seemed full. Oh, the long journey will be tiring. Unexpectedly, there were two empty seats. Nobody bothered to take the seat. Really thank God for the needed rest for my long journey. Because I have muscle-ache problem. My shoulder is the most essential as it may lead to my worsened migraine.
Tears of grief
Tears of hating conflict
Tears of dislike to hurt
The need to confront
Someone who brags
Someone who lies
A jealous filled person
Driven by green eyes heart
My heart hurts for her
Before speaking to her
But without confront her lies
The more she stirs and messes my house
O Lord, You have heard
Heard her lies
You have heard my confidant’s advice
O Lord, You have heard Sennacherib’s blasphemies
You have delivered King Hezekiah from Sennacherib
Please, O Lord, deliver me from this braggart
Please, O Lord, guide my speech
Please, O Lord, rescue me from this mental anguish
Please, rescue me
Save me from this dilemma
Please tell me what I should do, O Lord
Her words are killing everyone
Her words are destroying everyone
I don’t want her to destroy my family
O Lord, I beseech Your guidance
For I trust in Your deliverance
Inspiration On: Tuesday, 16 July 2013 at 4:15am to 4:44am
My friend called and shared to me and asked me to write for her and ask what she should do. Though I was speechless, I put myself in her shoes, birth me this poetry. I feel speechless. This is her story, “The song ‘I Surrender’ by Celine Dion spoke to my heart and my tears of grief overflows to my Lord seeking His deliverance. Though I dislike the liar’s speeches and actions, the desire not to hurt her was laid bare to my Lord. My confidant suggested to me that it was time to confront the guest before the situation got out of hand. Those who disapprove her lies are my neighbour, helper and even a weekday beverage deliverer. But I still believe in God’s wisdom and Hand of guidance. My mind and heart is confused in what I should do.” What should she do? Your feedback is most appreciated.” This reminded me of 2 Kings 18:12-37 where King Hezekiah cried to the Lord of host.
There exists people belong
To two categories.
Extreme to each category
Very few in-between
The two categories are
Trust others too much
Believe others too much
Treat others are nice like themselves
Either being cheated or betrayed
Reveal self too much
Distrust others too much
Believe self too much
Treat others are cunning like themselves
Either cheat or betray
Refusing saying too much.
Do you wonder this yourself?
Inspiration On: Wednesday, 8 May 2013 at 11:34pm
Inspiration On: Thursday, 9 May 2013 at 1:36am
My mother told me that my dad is a very trusting person whose life and money were sucked by his friends. Then I was inspired with this poetry title and the poetry flowed later on. The book of Proverbs described the contrast between the naive, prudent, and the wicked. As I observe and scrutinize my parents, I realized i have a prudent mother. If not for her, I won’t be able to study in Singapore to get bachelor. Her motto (translated to English) is, “Though not cheating, prevent self from being cheated.” Then I wonder about myself and reflect the above poetry.
Complaining the burning paper smell
Trusting him completely to heed my instructions
Giving him instruction to stay
On my bed with his beloved toy
When I close the window.
A yes answer from him
While shutting the window and lock it
He bounces on my bed
Treating it like a thin bouncing carpet
Losing balance and rolls downward
Lands his right ear onto the floor
The loud thud shocks me!
Abruptly, dashed to my bed
Blankness and confusion set into my mind
At the sight of fall
Only the intuition to cuddle him comes
Swiftly cuddle him affectionately as
His painful cries are ascending and escalating
At the top of his
Vibrating lungs through his throat and mouth
Filling the whole quiet house.
As he slowly calms down
And his cries reaching to a halt
He confesses his curious attempt
While applying ointment and massaging his ear
Right ear with red marks
Informing the mild knocks at his head
Feeling remorseful to leave him.
I trust him too much
Based on his previous acts of obedience
In listening to my instructions.
Inspiration On: Sunday, 19 August 2012 after 5:10am
As I kept on replaying the scene of bringing my 25 months toddler to my room and pondering the solution to prevent such a fall, the above haiku was birthed to warn others not to repeat my mistake.