Extreme Opposing Patterns

Judge others harshly
Lack of understanding
Overlook own mistakes
Extremely self-forgiving
Finding fault on others
Searching for scapegoats
Seeking control on others’ lives
Protecting own interest

Extremely forgiving others’ mistakes easily
Full of empathy and understanding
No excuse with own mistakes
Admit own faults
Beware of being the scapegoat
Be sensitive to manipulative spirits
Protect others’ interest
Seek the Lord’s intervention to stop being controlled

Circumstances and situations
May cause
Both extremes switch places
Thus the cycle continues

Maintain self-care purpose
In order to
Care others require
Recognise the higher power
Omnipotent God sees
Seeking my Lord and Saviour
To be the person whom the Lord wants


Inspiration On: Tuesday, 14 September 2016

It has been months I have been feeling miserable. My cell leader has been highlighting to me repetitively to learn to self care so that I can care others. I begin realise that it is my mistakes to let others enter into my boundaries. I refuse to let my patterns to continue and ask God for wisdom. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Frequency and Speed

Different frequency frustrates
Frustrating to put different personalities
With the same value

Frustrates one another
Until both are having a hard time
Bearing one another in love

Having the resolution
To resolve the conflict in
Christ’s love and forgiveness
Amicably


Inspiration On: Tuesday, 12 January 2016

My business mentor sends me a text message, “Praise the Lord that your hubby is attending church with you. Keep praying for breakthrough for him to be touched by God’s amazing love.”

“I hope so,” responding in hope.

“Patience. Declare and proclaim. God is working. Faith is not what we see but believe.” She encourages.

I answer, “Yes. The faith needs to be in accordance to His will.”

“Surrender your will to Him and let His will be your will.” she responds in faith.

Next I share, “I also got alarmed by the dream on Saturday midnight to morning before I attend class. Thank God for the unexpected arrangement.”

Full of her assumptions, “Hope you had shared in the post encounter class.”

“Not yet.” I answer immediately.

“Why not?” She wonders.

I’m explaining, “When everything is cleared first.” Then I testify thankfully, “My husband readily brought our son to nearby mall. My son pestered him to go.”

“Not your wisdom that you thing everything will be cleared first.” She advises.

I know it already so I answer, “Yes. Not my wisdom. Until everything comes to pass first.” Then I continue, “Then meet SS who brought us to church. I thank God to break his strong presumptions about the church at suntec. I explain to him also can’t accept. He strongly presumes that the churches at suntec are materialistic.”

“Up to you,” her response to my previous topic.

So I continue, “I try to explain more about God also can’t listen. Great for the sermon. Beyond persecution. He seems speechless. He has nothing to say. Thank God.”

“It is God who speaks not the pastor and God who causes the eye of his heart to be convicted and ears open!” She corrects. Then she questions, “What made him speechless?”

“Yes. It is God. I can only do my part. he has nothing to say against the Protestants. Great. And I thank God for that. I can relate and understand the message clearly. I thank God to help me during post encounter.” I clarify.

So fast in her opinion, “Share your dream and not think in your own wisdom you want to wait for everything to clear.”

“He enables me to point to the right verse for the given questions.” I continue on the post encounter.

She suggests, “If you wait it could be too late. As you share with the body of Christ, they can pray against the dream if it is not good or protection over you.”

“I don’t want to lose my husband. Unexpectedly, he goes to church. During intercessory prayer, I share it and the lady mentioned I need to share it to my cell leader. Then I share. They guide me to cast it down. Too soft.” I confess. My imagination guides my fingers however articulate it wrongly, “Can’t kick the devil away.” Kicking the devil away plays in my mind repetitively.

Abruptly she advises, “Never hesitate to share with your SS and CG.” She answers, “Never hesitate to share with your SS and CG.”

“Yes. SS says so.” I continue and explain further, “I realize the tone of my voice.”

So full of her opinion to get my wrong message, “By saying that you believe that Satan is greater than Jesus.”

“Nope.” I fed up in the way I express myself.

She corrects my thinking, “That what you feel by saying : Can’t kick the devil away.”

“Jesus’ authority and the tone of His voice,” I continue and feel frustrated to explain myself.

She does a screenshot of the wording, “There is power in the name of Jesus.”

“I have been thinking about the Bible,” I express.

She presses on, “The fact that you said : Can’t kick the devil away. That means you entertain the thought!” This is frustrating to talk to a fast person when I want to share about myself.

“It’s not. Can you please listen?” I plead.

Abrupt opinion, “Then can you please don’t say that!”

“Ok,” I answer instantly. Then I re-clarify, “I’m trying to say. I have been thinking about the Bible in how Jesus’ voice tone to cast out the devil.”

She says, “No, it was not what you said. The bible never said: Can’t kick the devil away.” I feel so tired talking to her and reply, “Yes”.

She exclaims, “But instead the bible cast out every demon!!!” So I apologize, “Sorry if I don’t express it correctly.”

I begin to understand the reason people misunderstands her. Because she ever asked me, “Why people misunderstand me?” She is too fast in her opinion rather than fully listen.

She pinpoints, “Don’t try to cover up your mistakes. If you don’t know something, admit you don’t know and not try to give people impression you know.” Her abrupt opinion again of me. When I don’t say I know.

“Can you please hear me out?” I plead again. Then I continue, “I have been thinking about the Bible. I am wondering about the tone of Jesus tone to cast out the devil. When Jesus rebuke the devil in Peter, “get thee behind me Satan.” In Matthew 16:23. That has been impressing my heart until now.”

Finally, she listens and responds, “Yes, and?” I feel so glad.

“Thinking about the tone of my voice.” I wonder.

She corrects, “Nothing to do with your tone of voice rather than the way of praying against the devil. How does a warrior fight? Gently or in authority?”

“In authority with love and compassion.” I’m thinking in terms of human interaction.

“You fight with the devil in love and compassion?!!!!” She loudly exclaimed. Then I realize she means spiritual realm until, “What rubbish are you talking about?”

“Nope. I thought is to hate sin but love enemy because God wants everyone to be saved. Do you mean the spiritual realm?”

“Frustrating talking to you!!! We have been taking about casting out devil!!!”

“Oh ok. No love and compassion to the devil,” I answer.

She poses a question, “You have?”

“Hatred to the devil.” I answer. Phew. This is so tiring.

Then I clarify, “Whenever I want to say something,

  1. At times thank God it is said clearly
  2. At times I feel so pulled and silenced
  3. At times I say it wrongly :(”

She expresses, “More than that : You need to stay focus on the topic and not talk about something else not related to it.”

“Got it. Thank you for this.” Finally to resolve this. Needing her voice to speak out I ask her, “Do you mind to record your voice? So that I can remember it much clearer. Thank you to do so.”

When I share about Matthew 16:23 to SS, my cell leader, I feel being heard.

I begin, “SS, I have been thinking about the Bible. I am wondering about the tone of Jesus’ tone to cast out the devil. When Jesus rebuke the devil in Peter, “get thee behind me Satan.” In Matthew 16:23. That has been impressing my heart until now.”

“What do you mean ‘Impressing’? disturb you? Or you feel He is so great to sense the devil behind Peter?” She questions.

I feel so validated and able to articulate, “I feel that He is so great to sense the devil behind Peter and can cast it away.”

“Don’t you know He is God in human form. He can even see through the heart,” she questions.

I feel better, “Yes. Those verses really makes me think a lot about Jesus.”

“Yes. What? You know He is God.” another question from her.

I comfortably answers, “Yes. He is fully God and fully Man.”

“Keep it up that He is God,” she encourages.

Thankfully I reply, “Yes. Thank you.”

“You are welcome.”

It ends better. I begin to understand the frequency between my cell leader and I. After I clarify with my business mentor, suddenly my cell leader, “Hi! Tienny, would you like to join Business mentor and myself for worship on the 15Jan, this Friday at 10am at my shop? Thanks.”

“Sure, I reply instantly.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Unique Business Value

Thank God for the conversation with AY from a job agency who asks my background. Then he diagnoses and consults me in my career. During the talk with him, he understands my position because he also comes from another country. Then I have a clearer picture of my business mentor’s role and my role to establish a company. Her role is promote the company and me. My role is to promote her as the one who promote the company products. He mentions that I have a different perspectives in looking at things. So he encourages me not to change myself. After looking through my resumes and studies background, he explains that I’ll get more project work rather than full time job by giving unique value to other companies. It is a shocking to me. He highlights to me that my thinking is too naive. Oh no! Then he is able to identify my unique value proposition and encourages me to do it tomorrow to use animation as a a value to the companies in their services. He encourages me to be myself and do a video on my unique services. The words that he gives me enables me to see myself as a good unique value services to a company as a whole. So far, he feels that my communication is understandable and I can improve along the way. Thank God to help me in learning to speak and to impress me the idea to create a bookmark with her name and to enable me to bless her with iPad with my given limited finance. Because she is so excited to get iPad under our company’s name. iPad is lighter for her than her MacBookAir. From her, I see two perspectives. Her loyalty towards Apple products due to the simple user interface features. Second perspective is to see Apple can create great products to build fan based on its products. According to my experiences to meddle and explore iPhone and android phones, I do agree on iPhone’s great user interface and its features compared to android phones. However, android phones still lose to apple in terms of simple features. I see the pros and cons of iPhone and android phones. iPhones are great in user interface and features except that it can’t set limits on the data usage. However, android phones have the feature to set the limits on the cellular data usage. Throughout my two years of experiences exploring all these to help my parents, ex-client, and friends, I see the Lord blesses me with such gifts. This baffles me. I thought my programmers friends who uses iPhone for years know it’s capabilities than I do. Why do I have to share my findings to them instead of myself? Strange. Anyway, I thank the Lord for that and feel humbled by His love.

Thank God to sense Hid presence in my heart during the meeting with AY. It is growing stronger especially after the Festival on the elderly.

In the Festival about Elderly Care at a university, I meet the lady (Peace Connector) who has the same mindset as I do. It is to work for the commitment to care for my parents when they are old. Apart from there, I still want to help the marginalized mothers to bring their children to the workplace and to employ the elderly. She thought I am a student and she can see the potential to use animation to promote elderly values. I thought I have dressed to look professional and my business mentor to change my hairstyle. 

Thank God for my business mentor to still answer my WhatsApp messages. That means she still cares and believes in me. This is embarrassing to send one of my diary and dream about her, rhema poetry to her out of insecurity and being emotional. Hope my other poetry is not found by her. Abba Father is also scary to send people asking whether I study Hebrew. I hope CW won’t tell her.

On my way back home, I begin to see most of the picture. My business mentor’s care on my naiveness who helps me to stand on my feet. Her different images wearing different hats as a sister in Christ, mother, dietician, health coach, physician, business partner, and even business mentor. Does it mean the Lord allows the evil one to create confusion in my mind in order to understand about social cues? I feel so speechless. I see a sister in Christ who embodies biblical values who has the characteristics half of my dad and half of my mum. Besides that, she was verbally and emotionally abused for eight years. Moreover, her stomach issue is caused by the lack of nutrition during confinement period. Based on her sharing, her mother in law doesn’t take care of her nutrition during confinement. That’s sad. Now, I begin to see God’s hand of intervention during my confinement when my mother in law let the devil in due to her jealousy. She ordered the confinement lady and my mum there was no need to have proper nutrition. But she told me to have proper nutrition during confinement. Instead of being fooled, I clarify with my mum. So my sharp ears helps to get the right facts. Until now, I feel so guilty for not listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit to hide a voice recorder on the kitchen table. So until now, my mother in law often denied her words.

Strangely, BL cares about my own project and is interested in my business ideas and proposals. So she brings it home. Lord, if she’s one of the partners, grant me the wisdom to give her the delegation of her job. Social media strategies is a good one for her though I prefer my business mentor. She must be thinking, “what is in it for her?” Strangely, there is a nudging and to relate my business teamwork idea towards her business idea on “us maximization”. All I want is how I can contribute into God’s kingdom. Never expect for me to end up in business and meet business minded elderly brother and sisters in Christ. What’s happening?

Smelly Row Seat

On a Sunday morning, a sharp awful smell came out of nowhere. A lady who was sitting beside me asked my nose sense. Flap!! Flap!! So stinky! Flap!! Flap!! She rested her hands from flapping the newspaper. Then she flapped again. Her flapping eased the awful smell. And I could sense the flapped wind freshen the air pollution. However, such continuum action stirred the other listeners’ attention to her during the preaching. A pastor from behind approaches her. She immediately explained the place she sat stinks. However, the pastor didn’t hear it. So he called her. A minute had passed. She stood up and went behind to meet the pastor.

Let us see from different perspectives.

From the congregations’ perspectives, it disturbed their time to listen to the preaching from the pulpit. They were utterly disrupted from their hearing focus.

The lady was concentrating on the preaching yet she needed to bear the smell. She bore the smell to the point of unbearable breathing. Opening her bag, she was looking for things to ease her nostril. A newspaper helped her to ease her pain. That’s the only thing for her to do so. Flapping it freshen the air and ease her breathing.

A pastor’s perspective felt that it disrupted the congregation. So he decided to approach her. However, he couldn’t hear her explanation and called her. She walked to him to explain herself. However, the people who sat at my row bore the stinky smell silently and quickly left.

What can we learn from here? Investigate the source of the smell. Stop hurting the congregation. Congregation and the church staff need to collaborate to solve the air pollution. Don’t let it continue. This can be likened to a sin that was not tackled. Once it becomes worse, it’ll affect everyone.

Please share your perspective on this issue.

Door Mat?

What am I?
Am I a door mat?
Only to be trampled on?

What am I?
Am I a door mat?
Easily to be taken advantage of?

What am I?
Am I a foolish person?
Awaiting to be bullied?

What am I?
Am I a comical person?
Awaiting to be laughed at?

I am also HUMAN
With different values!
With different perspectives!
LISTEN to ME or JUST go AWAY!

Inspiration On: Wednesday, 04 February 2015 at 9am

This is a painful realization to me for being myself. Bullied at school. Care not to hurt others’ feelings, those wolves prey on my kindness. Cheating my hard-earned money! Backstab me behind my back when I care for them.

Era

Now is the 
Era of machines 
Era or technologies 

Normal phone
Transform into 
A smart phone 

Normal television 
Transform into 
Internet television  

Manual labours
Transform into
Robotic labours 

Multiple office responsibilities 
Are entrusted to 
Fewer employees 

Strong moral values
Decline into 
Low moral values 

Strong mentality 
Decline into 
Weak mentality 

Who is in charge?
Technology dictates human?
Human is in control of technology?
Who is the slave?
Do inner core values or physical attributes reigns?
Decrease in employment rate?
Who will we account to at the end of our lives? 


Inspiration On: Saturday, 20 September 2014 at 10:45pm to 11:04pm
Editing Ends On: Monday, 22 September 2014 at 12:48am 

This poetry births out through observing and comparing olden days and current days. Terry Shepherd and Kenneth confirms this in their blogs – Do You Want to Voice Your Opinion? and The proposal ended it really. This is a very important questions we need to ask ourselves.