Heartache

Gripped with emotions
Mind goes blank
Crippled with a strong waves of hurts
Waves of hurting words
Envelops and squeeze my heart
Heart aches
Tears drip uncontrollably
Hiding in a corner
Hurting my integrity


Inspiration On: Tuesday, 24 September 3013 at 10:02am to 10:08am
Based On: Monday, 23 September 2013 between 10pm to 11:30pm

Arguments occurred between my brother and mother then she with me regarding air ticket printing for my cousin. My mothers’ relatives often take her for granted. Whenever there is problem, she is always asked for help. But they didn’t look for her when there is no problem. I have been wondering why do people take my family for granted? My brother is pissed off. Every time the ticket printing is passed to me last minute. It didn’t mean my printer always have ink. My dad intercepted our arguments. Even shoot remarks that we would leave them alone when they reach old age. That hurts me a lot because I have set in my heart to take care of my parents till death do us part. No matter what arguments, my decision to care them is final. My heart and mind hurts a lot for my dad’s words who is stoistic of his own opinion and presumption.

Switching off the light, but switch on the night light preventing my son from seeing my cry and kissed him goodnight. My husband had slept. In the middle of the night, my mother opened my room door and comforted me to just brush dad’s words aside. After back home from work and shower, I felt sleepy. But after the quarrel, I couldn’t sleep until 2am midnight and crying to my Lord and Saviour.

Erupt Feelings

Shocking news
Disheartening news
Discouragement sets in
My heart sinks
Sinks down to
The bottom of dark hole.

Tears well up in my eyes
Attempt to hold it
Prevent to show it
Painful feelings erupt
Unknown its origin
As if knowing
My mum’s feelings
When she lost
My eldest
In a car accident.

Repeatedly
Continuously
Painful feelings erupt.
Hide
Hide myself
Hiding myself in a toilet’s cubicle
As my tears roll down
Roll down continuously
Pray to control
Such painful emotions.
Huge waves of emotions
Splash against the rock
Struck against the rock
The rock of my heart.


Inspiration On: Sunday, 31 March 2013 from 3:02am to 12:40pm

Before my husband took an aeroplane yesterday, he called me up around 3pm. When I heard that his elder brother passed away, my heart sank down. My friends and I had been praying for his healing when I heard he was hospitalized due to breathing difficulty. The news disheartened me.

Refer: Buried Longing