Extreme Opposing Patterns

Judge others harshly
Lack of understanding
Overlook own mistakes
Extremely self-forgiving
Finding fault on others
Searching for scapegoats
Seeking control on others’ lives
Protecting own interest

Extremely forgiving others’ mistakes easily
Full of empathy and understanding
No excuse with own mistakes
Admit own faults
Beware of being the scapegoat
Be sensitive to manipulative spirits
Protect others’ interest
Seek the Lord’s intervention to stop being controlled

Circumstances and situations
May cause
Both extremes switch places
Thus the cycle continues

Maintain self-care purpose
In order to
Care others require
Recognise the higher power
Omnipotent God sees
Seeking my Lord and Saviour
To be the person whom the Lord wants


Inspiration On: Tuesday, 14 September 2016

It has been months I have been feeling miserable. My cell leader has been highlighting to me repetitively to learn to self care so that I can care others. I begin realise that it is my mistakes to let others enter into my boundaries. I refuse to let my patterns to continue and ask God for wisdom. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Judgmental / Poor Listeners

Assumes beforehand
Quick to judge
Quick to stereotype
Quick to finish up sentences
Quick to speak
Ear drums are filtered
Full of opinions
Overlook unexpected important heart-to-heart issues
Instantly jump into conclusions


Inspiration On: Monday, 5 September 2016

Suddenly, my ex-mentor attempts to help me. Then I begin to understand her good intention by trying to help me with her way. Then she admits her weaknesses for being judgmental. Then I admit my recent newfound strength is being a good listener. However, it can be my weaknesses as I share my cases. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Emerging and Development

Unreadable
Unpredictable
Full of “why” questions
Questioning own motives

Aligning myself according to
The Word of God
Questioning own abilities

Learning to identify
Natural abilities and learned skills
That emerge and develop through time

How do people around me view my strengths?
What do they see in me?
Do they see Jesus’ strength in my weaknesses?


Inspiration On: Friday, 20 May 2016

The two days leadership workshop enable me to learn about myself and how my Lord Jesus works through me despite my weaknesses. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Better Self-Understanding

Hard to see own strengths
Others see and point my strengths
Though I confess my own weaknesses

Feelings of unworthiness
Cloud my conscience
Magnified before my eyes

No deterrence to such feelings
Still willing to stand up and do my best
Obediently listen to the call of my life


Inspiration On: Thursday, 7 April 2016

A lot of reflections are going through in my heart and mind. Seeking to understand myself better and how my Lord Jesus strengthens me. Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Barely Survive

RING! RING!
Alarm rings
Immediate awake
Rush to my son to wake up
Request to be carried
Brain is boiling!
Again request to be carried
Hot steam blows out of my head
Abruptly goes down the bed

Sleepy eyes
Rushing him
Slowly walk around
Drink milk slowly
Sleepily
A fast child but slow to wake up
Feel drained
Due to opposite personalities


Inspiration On: Monday, 1 February 2016

I wake my five years old son up many times. He requests me repetitively to carry him out of the bed. Hot steam pour out of my head and lose my temper to go down his bed. So he goes down his bed. Waking him up nicely and still want me to carry him? He is 26kg and I can’t carry him anymore.

Oh no! The previous two helpers often carry him out of bed. No wonder he expects to be carried. My body can’t carry too heavy. Many times I carry heavy things, my chronic migraine worsens.

Rushing him to drink milk though he is still sleepy, wipe his face and change his clothes. Due to his slowness, I lose my temper and the bus driver scolds me for calling twice to my phone twice.

Then I realize that I need to train the new helper to let him go down his own bed.

Uncle WY forgot to call me due to rushing homework and for night pastoral bible class. Oh, I need his advise how to handle those who sow discord in the family and the church.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.

Sudden Courage

Pretend not see
Someone who cheats my money
Persuaded me to sign contract to pay him
Playing my naivety

Only to realize
Useless to be fearful and runs away from
Such person

Crying from inside to
My Lord and Saviour
Seeking for help

Amazing courage to look at
That person in the eyes
And walk away

Marvel at the immediate response
To certain situation
The more I need the Lord in my weaknesses


Inspiration On: Wednesday, 11 November 2015 at 8:45pm

I thank the Lord to hear my cry to Him because I see someone (who cheated my hard-earned money) from behind and pretend not to see him. Amazingly, there is an immediate courage towards him when I bump to him. I am surprised to look him at eyes and walk away.

Meeting a classmate. Glad to meet him after I coincide the one who cheated my money. My classmate explains to me how to tap on government funding. Then he encourages me in my confidence to nail down on the creative section strength I can focus on. He knows my business values. He also shares his experiences to complete his own projects. It is good to attend free workshop to complete own projects. Very true. I thank the Lord to have my classmate around. Phew. I am amazed how God let me focus on the real starting out creative people I coincide with.

Wish you all have good days and thank you.